Late bedwetters

[Florencenotflo]

Wasn't sure where to post this. Dd is 6.5 and still not dry at night. She hates wearing her pull ups still, especially as her 3 year old sister is pretty much dry at night (bar the odd accident).

But we've tried so many times and she just can't do it. I know it's not her fault and I'm really not worried about it, I'm happy to just wait. I spoke with the GP about 6 months ago who said to wait until she is around 7.5 and come back. What for I don't know.

We try every few months or so for around 2 weeks, no pull ups at night. She's never had any other problems with the toilet, been dry during the day since around 2.5. She's never been told off for bed wetting, we just sort her out, change the bed, back to sleep etc.

Dd only drinks water, last drink is at around 6pm, bed is 7:30pm. I get her up at 11pm when I go to bed. And she's still dry when I wake her then. She usually wakes around 4am absolutely soaked.

Did anything work for anyone else? I don't know what else to try!

I had this as a child, and it was due to childhood trauma, an abusive stepfather and my father’s death. It can be caused by trauma or stress, even the stress of bedwetting itself could be causing it.

If you can afford it I’d pay for a private clinic to get to the bottom of it, it will be worth it in the long run.

My 6 year old was never dry at night until we used a bedwetting alarm. They were on board with it and it solved the problem in a few weeks.

Have a look at www.eric.org.uk too.

Mine dry about 7, but she does often just get up at 4/5 for a wee - any signs of motor or muscle weakness? Mine has hyper mobility and DCD and she just can't hold as long.

Being dry at night depends on the body producing a certain hormone. Different children's bodies produce the hormone at different ages. At 6.5, quite a lot of children still won't be producing the necessary hormone. The GP has told you to wait as it is not seen as a medical problem until age 8, by then most children will be producing the correct hormone. After that age there are medications and alarms that you can use. It's not something parents and children tend to discuss with strangers, but it is still fairly common at 6.5. It shouldn't affect school residentials/Brownie camps/etc as the adults in charge should be familiar with dealing with it sensitively. I've led KS1 school residentials and Brownie trips and there's always a few children affected still.

@MargotChateau no that's out of reach for us right now. But thank you. I agree she is stressing herself out about it. I don't think her younger sister being dry is helping. Not that we made a big song and dance about it or anything, but she noticed after a few nights that I wasn't putting a nappy on her.

@Ninini I will look into that, thank you.

@redredwineub40 no, no signs of any of those things.

@RamblingFar I have tried to explain this to dd, it's nothing she is doing. It doesn't seem to help her much unfortunately.

Everything @RamblingFar said.

One of mine wasn't dry until older than this and the GP explained about the hormone thing.

I too would suggest having a look at ERIC website.

Just use pull ups and don’t stress about it.

We had this issue too. We saw an eneuresis nurse who was phenomenal. I really recommend it. It solved my child's bed wetting.

@LakeIsle48 was this through your gp or private? Our GP has told us to wait until she's a bit older, but didn't say anything about what help was available anyway.

DS1 is also 6.5 and wet most nights, he won't wear a pull up though and I kind of don't blame him.
We have very realised that If we take him when we go to bed (walk him not carry) he also then is mostly dry at 6am when I get up. it always seems to be when he sleeps past 7am so we think he wakes a little when we get up, not enough to get up, does his wee and then falls back to sleep - I'm going to try out waking him around 6:30/6:45 for the day and seeing how it goes. He is such a deep sleeper, whereas his 2 year old brother wakes at a pin drop so I can't imagine we will have the same issues.

You could try a wetting alarm but they are expensive to buy.

Otherwise just wait it out if it doesn't resolve itself go back to the GP who can refer to the continence service who can look into it further.

In the mean time get some bed mats that can be removed and washed for easier bed changes, we use these.

My DC is a lot older now 12 but it's been a problem since young. He is now on medication for it which has worked a miracle but we tried an alarm before this.

I suggest an alarm. They are about £30 on Amazon and worked brilliantly for my two, who were 8 and 6 when we used it. It requires commitment from parents and kids, but persevere for a couple of weeks and then have a break if it’s not working. NICE guidance suggests kids should be referred to the bed-wetting clinic at age 5 if they are not dry, but the waits are ridiculous and I think they over-emphasise lifestyle stuff (not drinking squash etc) and medication.

If your dd is motivated I would give the alarm a go. ERIC have advice on how to use them. We did it with a pull up on top to avoid excessive washing.

We consulted with an Eneureis (bedwetting) nurse who resolved the problems for my son. I'd really recommend you consult with the nurse. She solved the problem. I can't remember everything but she did ask us to monitor what he drank and if I remember correctly he saw some trends etc. We were very lucky. We got it on the NHS. I hope things

@Florencenotflo Is there a reason she only drinks water? Realistically how much water is she drinking in a day?

My DS went on the waiting list aged 6 to see an enuresis nurse. The nurse has been amazing. Firstly, it is an extremely slow process... tiny steps to work towards the child being dry at night. My DS is now 7 and he is almost there.
The first step was to record how much liquid the child drinks each day (use bottle with measurements) and also measure volumes of urine at different points during the day. A 7 year old be able to hold 240ml in their bladder. My child was only holding 140ml so was unable to store the urine produced overnight which is partly why he wet his pull ups.
By increasing the amount of water drank during the day (at least 200ml in one go, 4 or 5 times a day) the bladder will begin to stretch and enable the child to hold more urine. This is a very gradual process and requires lots of rewards and support from school. No drinks an hour before bedtime.

Secondly, constipation stops a child from being able to hold a large amount of urine overnight. The enuresis nurse will not be able to continue any form of treatment or techniques is the child is constipated (pebble poo instead of 1 or 2 'sausages').

Unbeknown to me, my child was constipated (poo diary) and was promptly prescribed a safe course of laxatives which required him to have a week off school. This did the trick and once he was no longer constipated (look up decompaction) he was able to hold more urine.

Basically the bladder needs to be trained to hold larger amounts of urine and not be restricted by compacted poo stuck in the rectum.

It's been around 10 months now and DS wets maybe once a week instead of 5 or 6 times.

If the process doesn't work this far, the next stage is using the bed wetting alarm.

Finely the nurse will consider hormones or medicine. This is the last resort.

I hope that helps!!

Eric.org.uk

This is the nhs website

I wet the bed for absolutely ages. I was potty trained at a normal age, with no difficulties, and I never experienced any childhood trauma, nor do I have any physical or neurological conditions. But:
through my teens and even early 20s (!), I still had frequent accidents in the early hours of the morning, no matter what I did.

My uncle is a paediatric urologist, so we saw aaaaaall the specialists from age ~8. I tried not drinking after 4pm, sound alarms, shock alarms, eliminating tea, bladder training, and even years of medication. At best, I got down to a an accident 5/7 nights around ages 8/9/10, a couple of accidents a week in my teens, and two or three a month in my early 20s (usually clustered around when I was most exhausted, e.g., after exams).

Nothing worked for years, but the issue magically cleared up after having kids. No idea why. It’s not because I’m woken up all the time, because I still don’t have accidents when I travel for work without the DCs. Maybe it really is all down to hormones, and pregnancy was a “reset”…?

My siblings never had bedwetting issues. My friends growing up knew all about my nighttime woes. They never teased me or begrudged me for it, even if they woke up wet at a sleep over (ughhhhh). Sometimes, I’d wear adult incontinence products under a baggy night gown (school trips, overnight flights, etc). It felt like a hassle, but in the grand scheme of things it wasn’t the worst affliction out there.

All this to say - bed wetting is a royal pain, and it can be hard to identify a cause, but it needn’t be life limiting. Poor consolation for a young kid with a dry-at-night sibling, but maybe some consolation for their parent!

Hi - Reading your comment to this thread was such a relief today. I just wondered if waking your LO up earlier each morning impacted on their bedwetting?

My DS is 6.5 and can go a week or more without any accidents and then can have a number of accidents over the course of a week.

I have tried to determine at what time this is happening but it is difficult as DS is a heavy sleeper and says they can’t feel it.

Thank you x

@QforCucumber - sorry new to this so hope you see this.

Quite a high proportion of DC wet the bed through primary school. One of my DC was dry at age 3, but the other (who has some SEN) wasn't dry until he was 10. He wore pull-ups and I put bed mats under his sheet (the adult ones - I used to buy them in large bundles from Amazon).

We tried everything over the years - the bed-wetting alarm didn't wake him, we tried getting him up at 11 before we went to bed, restricting drinks before bed, restricting fizzy drinks altogether - nothing worked. In the end, we asked the doctor to put him on Desmopressin and within a couple of months he was finally dry at night. Such a relief!!

My DS was not dry until nearly 8. We were told he would have to wait until 8 for the referral so we managed it at home.
He was and still is an incredibly deep sleeper. He just couldn't wake up if he needed to wee. His dad used to wake him up around midnight every night and get him to go to the loo.

We have had some success with an alarm. My older son was 8 before dry at night - it just happened. My older son is 11 - still wet a couple of times a week - and they are still saying to wait! At 6 you probably won’t get any input from GP unless it is very different where you are.

We used a bedwetting alarm when DD was 8.

I slept in a spare bed in her room for a week in case she slept through it and within 10 days she was dry

My daughter wasn’t dry at night till 7- and then not very reliably! She’s 11 now and not had an accident for about a year. She potty trained at 2 and no problems. It just didn’t happen at night for her- Untill it just did!

Some really good advice from @guineapugs above.

also autism can affect the ability to know when you need to go (lack of awareness of body functions)

i was advised get child to drink lots in the morning (to stretch bladder) and to reduce drinks later in the day. So 1ltr before school, 2 ltrs at school then less after. At 11yrs old we seem to have cracked it mostly, after years of regular bed wetting.

saw enuresis nurse aged 9/10, very helpful. As others say this is very common.