DD 16 no period yet

[Candleabra]

Dd still hadn’t started her periods. She’s just 16. No health issues and all the other ‘signs’ are there. And have been for years really.
Ive tried to get her a GP appointment for the past year and I can’t even get past the receptionist. It’s not urgent enough. (Don’t even start me off on the appalling non existent service I get at the GP now).

I know she needs to see a GP, I know she needs blood tests but is there a non catastrophic reason she hasn’t started yet? I’ve gone from being vaguely concerned a couple of years ago to pretty worried now.

It is rare. And it is increasingly rare because girls are starting their periods younger and younger.

Ring GP, tell receptionist your daughter has primary amenorrhoea and NICE guidelines recommend investigations. If no appointment is forthcoming, tell them you will be making a formal complaint and do so.

You could also contact your local hospital endocrinology team and ask about self referral as GP is refusing to see her.

Why do you need to tell the receptionist? You’re under no obligation to disclose why you need an appointment to them. Just say it’s confidential. But tbh I would find a new practice. They are categorically not all like that. I changed GP when I had similar frustrations and my new practice are amazing.

Yes I’ll do this. Thank you.
I am concerned. I’ve just weighed her and she’s just over 8 stone. So I don’t think weight is a factor. She has had a big growth spurt recently, she’s about 5ft 7 now.

Is your DD worried about it?
Would she tell you if she had started? I had friends that hid it from their parents for multiple years as they were embarrassed.

I think insist on a GP appointment. Especially if your DD is worried, the extra stress won't help at all

I know. It’s just another thing on my list of things to do (move doctor). But I live in an area they are throwing up new build estates and the services are completely overwhelmed. So nowhere is taking new patients. And the receptionist - first question is “what’s the emergency “. They won’t accept appointments for routine things any more. I do need to escalate that to the practice manager (though to be honest, I’d be surprised if the post was filled as there are so many staff shortages)

I hope you get a GP appt OP. It’s something that must be individually assessed.

You have been unable to get an appointment for over a year? Not even a phone consultation?

If your receptionist is repeatedly saying that you cannot have an appointment because it isn't urgent then you need to complain. GPS aren't there to just deal with urgent stuff. You don't need a same day appointment. She could book you in for a week or twos time. Or you might even be able to speak to a nurse practitioner first.

Tbh, receptionists are there to triage, making sure urgent cases are seen first, not to tell people that they do not require one at all. They are not qualified to do that.

She definitely would have told me. She has been telling me for 2 years she’s worried. She’s definitely an outlier. The majority of her friends started around 10/11 which seemed young to me at the time, but appears to be the norm now.

Just to let you know OP I didn't start my periods at all for a rare medical reason that took a while to diagnose. Feel free to PM me if you would like.

You have been unable to get an appointment for over a year? Not even a phone consultation?

For this issue yes. They keep saying it’s not an issue. Just wait. I know I should have pushed harder, it’s so difficult to speak to anyone, it takes so long and repeated attempts every day. I’ll sort it out now, as long as it takes, and quote the guidelines someone posted earlier (thank you)

It could just be late starting, some people are late bloomers. She is underweight for her height though. If she exercises a lot, that could be the cause.

I always think of Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (XY chromosomes but outward appearance female) although it's more likely to just be late onset for another reason. It's a lot rarer than say PCOS.

I was also 16

I don't think being slim necessarily is the reason, unless it's unnaturally slim. I was 13 when I started mine and I was tiny and still am tiny I weighed about 6 stone maybe less, I'm only 7stone now. My friend was nearly 17 when she started and she was a very average build. Her grandma didn't start hers until 18 so I think genetics can play a part.

Even people with a healthy BMI sometimes need to be at the higher end of that healthy range to ovulate. I know plenty of women with BMIs of the low 20s whose fertility problems miraculously cured themselves when they put a bit of weight on.

That is another reason why so many girls are starting puberty earlier, because people are generally fatter.

She may be overtraining as well. However, my own experience as a teenager who also danced is that under eating and eating disorders are rife in dancers.

I used to think weight played a big part too but my dd2 started just as she turned 13 and she was around 5ft tall and too small for adult clothes at the time. She's 18 months older now and about 5ft1 and a size 2-4.

It’s unusual. I was 15 and a half (and nearly 3 years after my younger sister!).
I was a very slight teen, less than 7 stone. I clearly recall the Dr mentioning to my mum that I was a bit on the thin side.

I’m following as my DD who is 16 in November had her first period in March and nothing since. She’s slim and wearing size 4/6 UK and is worried - I was going to take her to see the GP if her second period doesn’t come when she turns 16 - I was a late myself and had very irregular periods which resulted in PCOS but I was much bigger than my DD at that age. It doesn’t help that all hers friends started at 12/13 and she feels like the odd one out

At 16, with a slim build and doing a lot of exercise, it's not so uncommon. 18 I would perhaps be more worried.

Just lie about the reason you need an appointment.

I was sixteen as was my mother. I was the last of all my school friends but neither my Mum or I were worried because she had been the same. A friend was 17. She had some investigations but then her periods started anyway.
It sounds from her growth as though she will start any day now. I had a very slight and slim build and probably started when I hit around seven and a half stone. I had a big growth spurt that year and then my periods started. I wasn’t an athlete or dance just slender with small bones. My friend who started at 17 was also slight .

I didn’t start until 16.
I was quite athletic, ran and cycled a lot.
Hopefully your DD will be fine too!

Does she go to an all girls school? This supposedly has an impact. And yeah just say you need a same day appointment and when they ask say it’s a “feminine issue”. Not lying but receptionist won’t ask any further. And doctor won’t scold for it not being urgent. If it’s been bothering her for two years and all her friends have started it will be upsetting her mental health and it isn’t right to drag it on. Just get the ball rolling and ignore grumpy receptionist. Who might I add have no training nor take any oath so I don’t see why it’s suddenly deemed appropriate for them to be the ones triaging. Many many vulnerable people are being put off going because they get too nervous to tell a receptionist their problems - it’s scary enough for them to talk to their gp let alone some eye rolling woman lacking sympathy tutting at the end of the phone making you feel guilty for trying to access a service which is literally there and paid for by all of us collectively to use.

and before any doctor’s receptionists start on me I know not alll are like this, but many are and it’s not on. If you’re not one of these please keep being awesome

I started my period two months after my sixteenth birthday, I was also quite thin back then. I wouldn't worry just yet.