Children constantly poorly- setting of my raging anxiety!

[thebearandthemare]

Wondering if I’m alone in this… I have two children who seem to be constantly poorly with the usual coughs, colds, ear infections, occasional sickness bug etc alongside some things like constipation, UTIs, eczema, skin flare ups. This has been ongoing over their childhoods (eldest now 6) but has really ramped up recently and perhaps made more stressful with the worries around PCR tests etc. They seem to spike a temperature at the slightest thing which can go on for days.

I’m absolutely frazzled. From sleep deprivation, juggling work and of course the worry about them being ok, I just feel my anxiety spiralling. My head is telling me it’s my fault they’re always ill. Perhaps I haven’t fed them well enough, built up their immune systems, not taken care of them well enough so they keep getting ill!

Anyone else have children who seem to be constantly ill at the moment? Recently it’s the temps, coughs, colds that are battering us. What can I do to help?

So annoyed at my spelling mistakes. I blame the lack of sleep!

I could've wrote this, literally word for word! No advice but I'm in the same boat and I feel like everything at the moment is weighing so heavily on my shoulders. I've also now got their crappy snotty nose and they repay me by having me up at some point every single night.

My only break is when I'm working (full time).

I'm finding this. New cold as the old one comes to an end. Has been going on for ages

Not my kids, who are remarkably robust, but I've been ill every month since June (including Covid in July). It's exhausting and incredibly wearing.

I take a daily multi vitamin so I very much doubt it's your children's diet. I just think multiple lockdowns took their toll on our immunity.

I am finally stocking up again on Propolis drops, which were amazing when I was constantly ill whilst living in London. Tastes vile but it's an amazing product.

Be kind to yourself, let them veg out when they're off school so you can work (if you're able to WFH) and be encouraged that the reintroduction of masks may help prevent the spread of the common cold!

Thank you. Nice to hear that we’re not totally alone in this (though not wishing germs on others!) It is so draining and the whole house/ routine starts to unravel when the illness hits! I guess it’s wise to take one day at a time and just muddle on through for now.

Yes mine are the same and just had an attendance letter for DS to add to the stress!

OP have a look at mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS) or at the very least histamine intolerance. Everything you have described indicates that in both your DC. Do they have ongoing allergy type issues, or you/DH? It's just a case of identifying and avoiding triggers in food and external environmental factors. Damp or mould is a big trigger, as is stress or heat.

@BonnesVacances that’s interesting. I’ve read a bit about it as my eldest has allergies and very sensitive skin. She had a really unusual flare up last year which led me to read a bit more about it but the things I read seemed pretty scary. It’s awful worrying about your children. I was hoping this was just a result of lockdowns etc at the moment but maybe I should be brave and find some more info.

In the same boat with my 5yo DD. Since she started school in September it's just one thing after another. Got her off school today with another high temp. It's exhausting isn't it!

Unfortunately there's not a lot of help on the NHS for MCAS, so it may be a case of figuring your way through it yourself. A Facebook group would be invaluable, though you do come across people who can have more severe symptoms which can be alarming.

The pharmacy might be able to help with antihistamines. There are a few to choose from. And use a food diary to identify any triggers and monitor symptoms. We use an app called Bearable but my DD is dealing with a lot of conditions. There might be a better one more specific for food triggers. And the best food list for foods to avoid is the Swiss one (it'll come up if you Google it) but your DC may not react to all the same foods as everyone is different.

You'll probably find, as I did, that you have it too and will read the food list and think 'oh that's why I don't like x' or why x makes you feel a bit off. We've realised our whole family, including my mum and siblings all have it too.

Also it's worth bearing in mind that viruses can set the mast cells off so a Covid infection could have taken things up a notch. Which also fits with what you've said.

op I’ve only just found this thread but absolutely the same here. One in nursery and one in reception. I work four days a week but since I went back from mat leave at the beginning of October I’ve only had a couple of totally uninterrupted weeks.
Oddly enough we havent actually had covid but like you say literally everything else. My eldest has asthma and has had scary breathing issues with every little cold. Toddler is getting a fever with everything so constant PCRs and has been hospitalised twice with UTIs (she’s now been referred to paeds for further checks on this as it’s twice within a few months). We’ve also had tonsillitis, parainfluenza, sick bugs, you name it.
I’m exhausted. The lack of sleep is unbearable.
I also suffer health anxiety which i find so hard to manage around them and the pandemic has obviously made it so much harder to try to relax about it all.
I’ll be honest I’ve found the last two years incredibly tough and I’m sort of wishing away my babies’ lives until they get bigger so that i can better assess if they’re seriously ill or not.
The responsibility and fear and exhaustion can be overwhelming sometimes.
Very glad to hear I’m not alone. ive also been worried about diet and things like immune deficiency illnesses

Aaaand literally just as I resurrected this thread the toddler has another fever.

I just want to lie down in a ditch and sleep some days

Sharing my experience with you in case it might help :) My son was constantly sick until the age of 7. When he was a toddler he had fever cramps which created a lot of extra anxiety whenever a common cold came to our house. Daycare was the source of all that, of course, and then school. I am not exaggerating: until he was 4 he was healthy 4 or 5 days a month. It was crazy. We spent hours at the doctor, hospitals... we felt hopeless and felt so bad for him. All doctors told us that nothing was wrong with hiss immune system, that he simply was more sensitive to viruses but that we should continue living normally instead of isolating him. It was very hard. So hard that we weren't brave enough to have a 2nd child. We live abroad and had no help, our jobs were jeopardized due to all the sick leaves and we were on the edge of madness. Now I regret it when I look back because things are MUCH better but back then we decided we wouldn't be able to handle a 2nd child if he or she was going to be as sick as our first one.
I remember people telling us that everything will get better eventually and we didn't believe them. But it does. He is 12 and healthy (just some anxiety-digestive issues that doctors say are not important). Once he passed his 7th birthday it was as if he became a different child!
I didn't have friends or family to support me during those hard years but my advice is to talk to someone who understands. Everybody around us was avoiding our home, saying their kids never ever got sick and that they would get infected if they visited us. They were very lonely years indeed.
Hang in there, it shall pass!

So glad I found this thread, 4yr old DS that seems to catch everything constantly.

I think since October he has had something every other week, mainly colds, snotty nose cough etc . He had chicken pox at Christmas then a sickness bug twice. My nerves cannot take much more but I feel so bad that he’s like this.

He has a good week then off we go
Again

My ds was the same. Admitted to hospital every year several times for simple cold, up until about ks2.
Did best to boost immune system with supplements and pro biotics did work, ime.

We had stocks of masks way before covid, I used to wear masks inside the house when I'm under the weather so I don't give it to him.
Same for hand sanitizer and wipes.

As he aged and as he gained immunity to regular illness, frequency of being sick have gone down.

My kids get temperatures at the drop of a hat too. Temps, coughs and colds. Oh and one of them conjunctivitis regularly too. And we've had hand foot and mouth and vom bug too. Eldest is 6 and the other is only 15 months. They tag team...she brings it home from school, he gets it, she returns to school to bring home something else. I just keep telling myself it is making for two very robust immune systems in the future! To be fair, there must be something in that because my one year old is generally sicker with everything than my 6 year old is. However, it is causing me great anxiety...as soon as one of them has a slight drip at their nose my heart just sinks. I hope summer will be easier. OP hope you're ok and hanging in there. I guess from this thread at least you can see you're not alone.

Resurrecting this thread as my 4 yo DS is poorly all the time and it is really setting my anxiety off big time! He has a pretty good diet and takes multivitamins every day. He’s been back at nursery for about five or six weeks and has had a cough and a cold since. My husband then catches this and it goes to his sinuses and he’s then very poorly and this time it’s got me. We are just getting over this cold which has gone to his ears and he was holding them crying in pain and then this morning he’s been sick all over our new car and just wants to sleep!!

He never sleeps as it is so what with the sleep deprivation, the worry and the time off work I am going out of my mind!! I know it’s probably ‘normal’ as I can see others on this thread agree but my god it makes life hard!

I think I wrote this exact post six months ago. We've had a good run recently but I'm dreading the winter. My anxiety goes into freefall too.
You're not alone!

@YukoandHiro thanks for the support! It’s just relentless! I’ve always had health anxiety and then having a baby and then the pandemic just ramped it up! Whilst I do cope a bit better and accept it’s probably just a bug this time, it does tend to hamper a lot of plans and make life even more exhausting! Part of being a parent though right?!

Could have written bits of this thread. So so over winter sickness and it's only just October. I have emetephobia so the whole thing is just unbareabkw. I'm not sleeping, can't eat because I feel so sick with worry 24/7

It’s so tough isn’t it 😔 I don’t have emetephobia but my husband is due surgery on his sinus soon and a sickness bug would be a real issue!

Also am wondering if my was sick due to the calpol I gave hIm for his ear ache in the night! He now has two syringes which seems a lot and has mentioned a tummy ache after it before and he did today. Hoping it’s that and not a bug and we don’t all get it.

the 24/7 worry I can relate to but I did have therapy and cbt to help.

Just looked up thread and I DID respond seven months ago... and since that earlier we went through a hideous couple of months of covid and chicken pox and another hospital admission for viral induced wheeze.
As I said we've had a good run since the summer holidays, but I'm probably jinxing it now by saying this....
I really hope this winter is a smoother ride than last year as the anxiety and loss of work time nearly killed me.

I have it too and my almost 2 year old is in nursery full time. I’m on major high alert and feel so anxious. I’d rather him have a cold for the whole of winter than catch a tummy bug.

And here I am, back again! What am I doing wrong?! My two are still constantly ill. They’ve recently had a virus they shared, temps, rashes and now my DD has a UTI. I’m anxious about too many antibiotics as she had a course earlier this month for an ear infection. This is so tough. I’m currently having a cry outside the late night pharmacy before I go home to get my laptop out and catch up on work ☹️ I’m sorry to hear of others finding it difficult too. Here’s hoping for a run of good health.

I'm so sorry @Hibbutyhop but you really aren't alone or doing anything wrong.
My eldest DD was in a&e on Monday night with her breathing due to a heavy cold and ended up needing her fourth course of oral steroids this year. It's horrible. I loathe this time of year. Bring on spring.