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Children's health

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Original poster

Dentist appointment left me feeling like worlds worst mum

31 replies

sparklymumSW4 · 28/06/2021 22:49

Hi, just after some advice after a dentist visit left me feeling like a terrible parent My 11 has to have dental drilling and filling of 3 adult back teeth due to decay inside the teeth. Dentist said teeth are great to look at however X-ray showed the decay, I feel terrible like it's somehow my fault I have always tried to minimise sugary things they don't have fizzy drinks just weak squash and a biscuit or two. He was a prem twin baby and has always had weaker teeth then his brother ( who munches his way through much more sugary treats then this one and his teeth are fine)
Just wondering if anyone else's kids have had dental fillings on adult teeth around this age or am I truly the worlds worst mum. Thanks x

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AnneLovesGilbert · 28/06/2021 22:54

No personal experience but of course you’re not a bar mum! Even the dentist said they looked good from the outside, how could you have known?!

You’ve done your best and his diet sounds fine. Did the dentist know your son was premature? I’ve definitely heard that can be a risk factor.

Bless you, stop beating yourself up. Be glad they’ve found the issue and you have access to help.

Original poster

sparklymumSW4 · 28/06/2021 23:20

Thank you @AnneLovesGilbert for your kind words. X

OP posts:

Armadollo · 28/06/2021 23:28

Of course you're not terrible. Terrible would be not getting them fixed. Terrible would be not caring. Ask the dentist for advice on how to prevent further in the future but you're not terrible. I've heard anecdotally that preemies can have problems with teeth so it might be that. Also everyone's teeth are shaped differently and made differently and decay sits where it can. Make sure your ds is brushing properly and get advice from the dentist but don't beat yourself up about it.

Lovinglavidaloca · 28/06/2021 23:37

Hi OP yes I have unfortunate experience of this. I totally sympathies with you and have spent hour after hour beating myself up.

I think being born premature is definitely something that can affect teeth.

Not much help sorry but I really just wanted to offer you my thoughts because I just know how awful you feel when you get bad news about their teeth. It’s devastating.

faithfulbird20 · 29/06/2021 05:50

I can't remember but yes it happened to me. Hmm please look after them from now on and look at tooth remineralisation support group on Facebook. They give advice on how teeth can heal etc. There's a book by rami nagel on curing tooth decay. It's quite good and the Facebook group gives good advice. Photos showing teeth healing.

TreaslakeandBack · 29/06/2021 05:54

Teeth can’t heal. What utter rubbish @faithfulbird20
OP you’re not a bad parent. Please don’t feel that. Sugar is everywhere.
Treat it as a wake up call though. Swap from squash to water for a start.

SofiaAmes · 29/06/2021 05:56

My brother never brushed his teeth and never had any cavities. I was super diligent, flossing and everything and I have cavities in every tooth in my mouth except the front 4. I've got crowns on most of my teeth because there were so many cavities. My ds is lazy at best about brushing his teeth and has almost no cavities (he's 20) and my dd was getting cavities on top of cavities before her adult teeth were even half way in. There is only so much you can do.

faithfulbird20 · 29/06/2021 05:57

@TreaslakeandBack yeah you're right no they can't 🤭 bye!

Soontobe60 · 29/06/2021 06:03

@faithfulbird20

Absolute nonsense. Tooth decay is just that - decay. That means it’s rotten. Things that are rotten do not suddenly become unrotten despite what some bloke on Facebook tells you.

Soontobe60 · 29/06/2021 06:07

[quote faithfulbird20]@TreaslakeandBack yeah you're right no they can't 🤭 bye![/quote]
www.todaysrdh.com/the-dangers-of-curing-tooth-decay-naturally/

CatsForLife · 29/06/2021 06:11

I honestly think tooth decay is down to the type of teeth you have like a PP poster said. People who eat sweet things and don’t brush diligently have no fillings and those who are paranoid about dental hygiene have lots of problems. Don’t feel bad. There’s only so much you can do.

redtshirt50 · 29/06/2021 06:25

I started having fillings when I was a teenager, my sister who was a year older than me (not premature) had perfect teeth.

We ate basically the same food and both brushed our teeth the same amount but my teeth were so much worse.

I'm dreading being pregnant because I hear it absolutely ruins your teeth - thinking I may well end up getting implants!

Chicoryhickory · 29/06/2021 06:36

It can be hereditary. I have neatly everyone of my teeth filled. My dh does not look after his teeth well and he has no fillings. My ds has 2 or 3 fillings too and I know the feeling of feeling awful but don't beat yourself up about it just try as best you can to prevent anymore. X

meringue33 · 29/06/2021 06:49

We thought we’d always been strict about sugar then realised when DS had toothache in lockdown that one tooth had almost rotted completely away! He loves fruit and hadn’t been supervised brushing. (He is 8). Happens to the best of us

WaterBottle123 · 29/06/2021 07:05

You're absolutely not a bad parent, teeth really are luck of the draw a lot of the time. You took DD to the dentist and got the issue sorted, you're a great parent.

Okbutnotgreat · 29/06/2021 07:15

Two of my DF have a tooth problem where their teeth haven’t formed properly and they have very little enamel. Our dentist has said that however we look after them there will always be issues because they are so vulnerable. So far we have only had one filling but have to be checked every 4 months and have fluoride gel applied regularly. It’s not their fault or mine (no antibiotics during pregnancy or any reason we can think of) but it does affect their confidence because the teeth are yellow and no amount of cleaning can make the whiter because it’s the dentine showing.

Okbutnotgreat · 29/06/2021 07:15

Two of my DC.

Yolanda524 · 29/06/2021 07:21

My sister had lots of fillings from about that age and still gets lots of problems with her teeth. We both had the same diet and toothpaste and hygiene habits growing up and I still have yet to had anything other than cleaning done to my teeth. Sometimes I think it’s bad luck or genes

Mrsmorton · 29/06/2021 07:26

Why do you let the other one eat so much sugar?
OP, this website is really useful to see how just a couple of biscuits at the wrong time can cause decay. jamiethedentist.com/dental-caries-decay/stephan-curve/

And no, teeth can't heal but early decay can remineralise under the right conditions.

Original poster

sparklymumSW4 · 29/06/2021 07:46

@Mrsmorton I don't let him eat so much sugar! he just has things like ketchup with almost everything where as this one doesn't like it, he has crisps this one doesn't like them, along with fruits and raisins he has things that contain more sugar and he will defo try to sneek more biscuits but I don't just allow him to eat more sugar. Thanks

OP posts:

Original poster

sparklymumSW4 · 29/06/2021 07:47

Thanks all for the advice have a good day x

OP posts:

OhToBeASeahorse · 29/06/2021 07:49

Hi OP. Dont feel bad! I had loads of fillings when I was younger, even though I was really quite careful. Then I got a new dentist who told me to stop rinsing and use a dry toothbrush - so paste on dry toothbrush, brush, spit. No rinse. It took a while to get used to but ive not ever needed a filling since!

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 29/06/2021 07:52

I honestly think that whether you have good or bad teeth is mostly down to genetics. You are not a bad mum!

Bagelsandbrie · 29/06/2021 08:17

I think it’s a genetic thing, don’t beat yourself up.

I’m going to be honest here and say both my dc (now 9 and 18) eat a truck load of sugar, chocolates, fizzy drinks etc (and yes good healthy stuff as well!) and both had dummies at night until 3-4 and neither have ever had any dental issues at all, none. Infact the dentist always says what amazing teeth they have.

I’m not advocating people do what we do but I’m just saying it’s not as cut and dry as people think.

I have teeth like my children and haven’t had a filling in about 25 years (I’m 40s). My dh on the other hand is plagued with bad teeth and seems to need work done every other week! We all brush and floss twice a day etc.

Original poster

sparklymumSW4 · 29/06/2021 08:24

@Bagelsandbrie thanks for that, I agree my teeth are really strong I had extra teeth removed for over crowding, and that was no easy task for the dentist, my husbands teeth are not great has filling and crowns it's funny how I have the twins and they have different Terry but always have had however the dentist instantly blames my poor choices as a parent and told me you should be supervising brushing of teeth and not to buy anything they could want to eat sugary in the house. Didn't expect a lecture on my shopping habits if I say no to my kids that's all is required he said don't hide it they will find it (first time we've met him and none of us are overweight?) lol

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