Dentist appointment left me feeling like worlds worst mum

[sparklymumSW4]

Hi, just after some advice after a dentist visit left me feeling like a terrible parent My 11 has to have dental drilling and filling of 3 adult back teeth due to decay inside the teeth. Dentist said teeth are great to look at however X-ray showed the decay, I feel terrible like it's somehow my fault I have always tried to minimise sugary things they don't have fizzy drinks just weak squash and a biscuit or two. He was a prem twin baby and has always had weaker teeth then his brother ( who munches his way through much more sugary treats then this one and his teeth are fine)
Just wondering if anyone else's kids have had dental fillings on adult teeth around this age or am I truly the worlds worst mum. Thanks x

[quote sparklymumSW4]@Bagelsandbrie thanks for that, I agree my teeth are really strong I had extra teeth removed for over crowding, and that was no easy task for the dentist, my husbands teeth are not great has filling and crowns it's funny how I have the twins and they have different Terry but always have had however the dentist instantly blames my poor choices as a parent and told me you should be supervising brushing of teeth and not to buy anything they could want to eat sugary in the house. Didn't expect a lecture on my shopping habits if I say no to my kids that's all is required he said don't hide it they will find it (first time we've met him and none of us are overweight?) lol [/quote]
Oh I just tell the dentist we don’t eat much sugar / they don’t have fizzy drinks etc- can’t be doing with the judgement to be honest! They just think I’m telling the truth and my dc have perfect teeth friendly diets!

DH's family through the female line have awful teeth. My family through the female line have excellent teeth. DH and I eat pretty much the same things but he has to have fillings on a regular basis and I don't have one. I think so much of it is luck of genetics.

Oh op, I do feel for you. My older two ds had no dental issues at all. The youngest did, unfortunately, and the dentist was so judgmental that I began to feel like he might report me to ss! I got quizzed over diet (like my older two, ds was kept away from sugar as much as feasible, and preferred drink was water anyway), brushing regime (regularly morning and night), and was put on a three monthly appointment plan! I know it was for the good of his teeth, but I did feel incredibly blamed. I think his teeth are probably just weaker than my other two ds, because the tooth care didn't differ. Once he started using adult toothpaste, the problems seemed to diminish and when his old dentist left (sigh of relief!) the new dentist was so much more reassuring. His adult teeth have actually been pretty much problem-free, so don't despair or beat yourself up, op.

OP look at hypomineralisation and see if you think your DCs teeth could be affected by that.

I had a really interesting chat with a sort of advice lady last time I took mine to the dentist. She said it’s not really realistic for children to have no sugar whatsoever. Teeth can withstand up to 4 acid attacks per day so that’s obviously 3 meals and a snack. So fill him up at meals and try to avoid snacking between meals. Personally I was cutting as much sugar as possible but still allowing snacking between meals not really realising that that was still causing an issue as obviously 99% of things have an element of sugar in them. We were struggling so much with their diet - even giving the children fruit would make me ill. Any sugary items like an ice lolly or chocolate or even fruit etc have with the meal to keep it all to one acid attack then brush teeth (I’m sure they say not straight away). Avoid sticky sweets like haribo etc and try to guide them towards chocolate instead as a treat. You want the things that you can imagine just rinsing easily off the teeth rather than the things you’d have to sort of hack away at to get it off.

If using mouthwash leave 20 mins after brushing.

Straws for all drinks other than milk or water and it goes without saying no fizzy or anything. I’ll hold my hands up and say mine drink no added sugar squash which I will try and cut down to meals and introduce a straw.

My poor teeth must suffer about 40 acid attacks per day so I really need to practice what I preach!

Thanks for the supportive messages. Glad to know I'm not the only one. Xx