Would you aid unilateral hearing loss?

[foncused]

Hi all,
First time posting -- signed up because I am at a loss what to do.
In a nutshell, my DS (3.5) has been diagnosed with unilateral moderate high-frequency hearing loss. The doctor is recommending a hearing aid, which he would likely need for life.
The problem is that I am not sure DS needs it! He seems to hear even the tiniest noises. His speech has come a long way since grommets insertion last year, although I will say that his clarity needs improvement. I am not disputing the test results; I just wonder if the good ear can compensate, meaning that a hearing aid wouldn't be necessary.
Does anyone have experience with something similar? Have you aided unilateral hearing loss, or have you found that the good ear does a decent job compensating?

I would get my DS a hearing aid because I wouldn’t like him to be disadvantaged in anyway.

for many people, the left and right ears handle sound a little differently. ... Scientists have discovered that the left and right ears process sound differently. The right ear responds more to speech and logic while the left ear is more tuned in to music, emotion and intuition.

You say he seems to hear the tiniest noise but would that still be the case in a noisy setting? What about sounds behind him on the side of the ear with hearing loss? You mention his clarity needs improving, if he isn’t hearing properly (the s, h & f sounds google tells me) then he may struggle to improve.

Yes I absolutely would, if he were my child.

What would be the harm in him having it? Over the years he will then be able to decide if he finds it benefiting him. Absolutely I would take the hearing aids. These things are not cheap and they do not give them out to people who don't need it.

@Howdoin Thanks for your response. I hear what you're saying. In a quiet setting, such as at home, at least, he doesn't appear to have any problems.
My DH wonders if an amplifier worn in school only would be sufficient, rather than a full time hearing aid?
I am actually struggling to understand my own ambivalence towards this. I have seen DS through a lot, including open heart surgery, and have supported his development unquestioningly to the point of complete exhaustion. And yet, with this latest development, something inside me just balks! Perhaps due to the complex nature of hearing loss, I subconsciously feel that it doesn't really exist (at least not in any observable way) or that it will get better with time?

You're in denial op. If his doctor is recommending it do it. Your child is NOT experiencing the world like you are.
Your brain learns from the input from the hearing aid. It takes a while to adjust.

If he had sight problems would you deny glasses, if not you are discriminating.

I have two hearing aids. I did not know I had hearing loss until I was 16. What I missed out on!!

People do associate hearing aids with stupidity. I don't know why, it's ridiculous. If this is you please stop it now.

@supadupapupascupa Denial, maybe. But to assume it comes from discrimination? No need to be so presumptuous because I can tell you that that is absolutely not the case. Plenty of people I know and love wear hearing aids, and my considerations for my son absolutely do not involve worrying about how others would perceive him. He is an intelligent little boy and I do not think others would judge him differently just because of a hearing aid. If they did, that would be their loss.
I apologise for airing my thoughts about my DS who has struggled with medical issues since birth. If discrimination is the first thing that pops into people's heads, rather than the thought that this is an exhausted mother who has just been handed yet another diagnosis, then that is unfortunate.

I'd take the advice of the doctor, or at least get a second opinion. I wouldn't just decide something like this myself as it needs expert advice and for the parent to listen and act on that.

I know a couple of people who are deaf in one ear, and it's really obvious once you spend any time with them. If there was any compensation made up by the other ear it wasn't enough for it to make any real difference.

In your second post you sound like you might be struggling to accept his hearing loss? I think that might be worth exploring further as sounds like you've been through a lot with him & possibly this hearing aid issue has more to do with how you feel than what he needs? I really hope that doesn't come across harshly as I mean that gently, and only because of how you worded your 2nd message. I hope you figure it all out Op.

@SunInTheSkyYouKnowHowIFeel Thank you, very pragmatic advice.
I think I am struggling to accept it because of the mixed messages being given. On the one hand, test results indicate a degree of hearing loss. On the other hand, there is a lot of pushback from family members and friends who are completely disbelieving and feel the need to point out for me at every available opportunity how there is nothing wrong with DS (their words, not mine). I stand somewhere in the middle, I suppose, and the barrage of mixed messages is making my head spin.

I have unilateral hearing loss. I was given a hearing aid as very young child. Aged about 7 at a regular appointment the Doctor and my parents decided not to make me use it anymore. I am now 37 and apart from only being able to use one ear for the telephone and generally sitting on the right of someone so I can hear them more easily I dont find it a problem in day to day life. The reason for them stopping me using the hearing aid was I found it distressing as it used to whistle all the time and it increased all noise so the background noise was also amplified. Hearing aids are a lot better now though. Maybe let your DS try a hearing aid and see if he prefers with or without.

Thanks for sharing your experience, @Bunnybigears. I'm worried that DS won't want to bother with the faff; he can be very fussy about what he wears, and something on his face would definitely annoy him.

Absolutely whilst language is still developing and with the importance of sounds in early years learning. When he is older he will be able to tell you exactly how much of a difference /advantage.

Maybe ask what kind of hearing aid they are thinking of as some now are very inconspicuous and fit right inside the ear, especially if you can afford to go private.

I would try it OP and let him get used to wearing it so that he has the option when he's in a noisy eyes environment at school.
He might find he wants it to help him.

Dd2 is 6 with moderate loss in both ears and has been aided since 4 months. In a quiet environment can understand what I'm saying (hearing & lip-reading) but for tv, music with background noise she needs them and especially for school although it can get too loud.
So much speech & language development is linked to hearing as well as phonics being used for reading, and social cues being based on peripheral hearing & young children are quite high pitched.
Give them every possible advantage i think.

Oh I missed that he was 3.5, how is his speech? I had speech therapy during the time I had my hearing aid im not sure if it would have been as affective (or effective I can never remember the difference) without the help of the aid.

Teacher of the Deaf here, if that helps?

I would definitely give him a hearing aid while he is young because of language development, but also because we have two ears for a reason - directional hearing.
We use our ears to locate sound more often than you would think. Someone speaks behind you and you know which way to look.

He may well choose not to wear it as he gets older, but early years are pretty crucial.

As a PP said, hearing aids are much better now than they used to be and the programming is quite sophisticated. They don't just make everything louder.

My hearing loss was discovered later in childhood (moderate high frequency bilateral caused by viral illness age 5?). I would get a hearing aid for my child. Doubt he would have in the ear canal aids at his age but behind the ear aids are fine. I found in the ear canal aids were not powerful enough for my hearing loss.

It can be exhausting trying to keep up with what's being said without aids being worn.

I think hearing aids do have negative connotations for some people. I come across it quite often - parents seem to not think twice about giving children glasses, but somehow hesitate if it's a hearing aid.

I'm not honestly sure why that is. Hearing is as important as sight for learning.

As the poster above said, listening for children with a hearing loss is really tiring, especially if they have to see someone's face to hear them clearly.

Yes, he can hear - just as a child with poor vision can see - but he can't hear as clearly as he could do, just as the world is less blurry with glasses.

I know a few people who are deaf in one ear. I notice it a lot, as I need to walk/sit on one side, get their attention before I speak, remember to face them so they can see my mouth, be conscious of background noise etc.

If I do those things for an adult with unilateral hearing loss, that is an indication of how much he might be missing.

I would definitely try it and try and work with it for a while.

Thank you, @bubblebubblebubbletrouble and @stuckinatrap. Directional hearing is perhaps an issue for DS. But then again, he hears the tiniest bird chirp far away! It is so so confusing!
@Bunnybigears, his speech is pretty good now. The grommets removed the conductive element of his hearing loss and made a massive difference. He also gets speech therapy at preschool and I work on it a lot at home. His clarity is not great; he can correct words when I take care to enunciate them properly, but it doesn't 'stick' and he reverts to his old pronunciations.

Our ds has bilateral moderate hearing loss diagnosed when he was 6 by a routine screening , no speech issues and we didn’t have a clue he had a problem . In those days (22 yrs ago) the NHS only provided behind the ear aids for children , I’m not sure what the situation is now , so we went private and he’s always had CIC aids . He wore them intermittently through primary school and then refused to wear them in secondary at all preferring to rely on lip reading as a back up . I would say get the aids and then see how you progress .

I hear from parents a lot in the early days after diagnosis that 'he reacts to sound. He can hear a pin drop!'

But his speech is a sign to you that he could be hearing better, even with the grommets.

Again, if it was glasses, no one would be questioning it or saying 'there's nothing wrong with him'. It's such an odd attitude.

@Floralnomad DS was referred after he failed his newborn hearing screen twice. They were only recently able to test the ears separately as his young age wouldn't allow it previously. His doctor also has only offered behind the ear hearing aids. I think CIC aids would be easier for him to tolerate as he could forget that he was wearing them..? But would probably be quite pricey if we go private. His insurance won't cover anything congenital as he was an IVF baby.

@stuckinatrap It is odd, I agree. Perhaps it is because glasses are so much more common -- I wear them myself. The hearing loss, on the other hand, has come completely out of the blue. It doesn't run in either family; genetic testing has come up blank, as has testing for CMV.
I see how fabulously DS has done considering how the odds were stacked against him, and it feels a little hard to accept that this is a hurdle that won't just disappear with time, effort, therapy, or surgery. Not sure if that makes sense!

Our ds was never going to tolerate behind the ear aids , we found a local firm that would deal with children but it was quite expensive although I cannot remember how much it’s probably actually cheaper now as technology has moved on and aids generally have come down in price .