Would you aid unilateral hearing loss?

[foncused]

Hi all,
First time posting -- signed up because I am at a loss what to do.
In a nutshell, my DS (3.5) has been diagnosed with unilateral moderate high-frequency hearing loss. The doctor is recommending a hearing aid, which he would likely need for life.
The problem is that I am not sure DS needs it! He seems to hear even the tiniest noises. His speech has come a long way since grommets insertion last year, although I will say that his clarity needs improvement. I am not disputing the test results; I just wonder if the good ear can compensate, meaning that a hearing aid wouldn't be necessary.
Does anyone have experience with something similar? Have you aided unilateral hearing loss, or have you found that the good ear does a decent job compensating?

It's worth doing. I am severely deaf in one ear and profoundly deaf (to the point of uselessness) in the other. I wear two hearing aids, transmitting sound from both sides of my head to the working ear. Bi-directional hearing matters, especially in noisier environments, such as a classroom. Without it, I am reliant on seeing people's faces and lipreading. Its exhausting, especially when you are learning new concepts as well.

I would go for the hearing aid. It will match your son's exact hearing pattern and the programming has become very sophisticated.

Thanks, all. Some very helpful advice, also in helping me reframe things.

[quote foncused]@stuckinatrap It is odd, I agree. Perhaps it is because glasses are so much more common -- I wear them myself. The hearing loss, on the other hand, has come completely out of the blue. It doesn't run in either family; genetic testing has come up blank, as has testing for CMV.
I see how fabulously DS has done considering how the odds were stacked against him, and it feels a little hard to accept that this is a hurdle that won't just disappear with time, effort, therapy, or surgery. Not sure if that makes sense![/quote]
Despite being rather matter of fact about it all because I spend all day every day with Deaf children, I absolutely know the feeling.

My own DS is profoundly deaf. He was prem and we went through holes in the heart and bleeds on the brain and late development...

And I remember being told and just reacting quite badly. People kept telling me 'it's fine. There are things that can be done', but I was just thinking 'let me be upset about this, please, it's another big hurdle.'

For you, because he has one 'good' ear, it's harder. I can see that. He can hear (I was told by the audiologist that DS was so deaf a jet plane could take off in the garden and he wouldn't know a thing about it). So it's probably easier for you to manage it in the same way you will have managed all of his other challenges - by thinking positively and telling yourself it's all going to be fine.

And it is.

But I would still say remove all potential barriers he has at this stage and give him the best chance. Once his language is fully developed and he's coping well through school, he may decide to manage without it - as many children with a unilateral loss do later on - but for now, he needs to be supported with anything that gives him a level playing field.

Sorry if I sound bossy!

@stuckinatrap People kept telling me 'it's fine. There are things that can be done', but I was just thinking 'let me be upset about this, please, it's another big hurdle.'
This is the first time I feel so understood. We also went through holes in the heart, brain bleeds, global development delay... the hearing loss is just the cherry on top. I couldn't understand why it upsets me so much when we've been through much worse. And the insistence from fam and friends that everything is fine not will be, but IS just makes me feel worse.
Knowing that getting aids is not set in stone but can be reevaluated when DS is older and can state his preferences, as pps have noted, is helping me think more positively about the situation.

My daughter was born with complete unilateral hearing loss which was picked up on the newborn screening. She attends audiology every 6 months and her consultant has never suggested an aid- he feels her functioning ear will be enough to compensate but she will need to be careful in certain situations like crossing roads, as may not hear traffic approaching on her left side etc. She is 5 now and speech has developed well and her hearing in her right ear is monitored every 6 months. It's interesting that your consultant has recommended an aid- ours dismissed the idea pretty much straight away when DD was still a baby. I would have gone for it if it was recommended but she seems to be coping really well relying on just the one ear!

I wouldn't go private, especially for a child. As he grows he will need lots of new ear moulds, and there's the risk of loss and accidental damage.

I'd get him the aid and get him to wear it at home, so he gets used to it, then get him to wear it in a busy environment like a supermarket or playgroup and ask him if it was any different. Hearing aids don't help with knowing where a sound is coming from, the sounds all go in the same way so there's no direction and sometimes in busy environments it can be easier to have 50% normal hearing rather than 100% through a hearing aid.

I was diagnosed with 40% hearing loss at the age of 6, I never wore the hearing aids until I was 18/19, my hearing got worse and worse and I now have over 90% hearing loss and can't hear high frequencies at all, no matter how much they're amplified, but I manage fine now with hearing aids.

One thing to be very aware of with high frequency hearing loss, whether he wears an aid or not, is he might not be able to hear certain sirens or fire alarms.

I am hearing impaired and use hearing aids. Definitely best for him IMO for him to have the HA, as it keeps the hearing part of the brain for that ear active. You use it or lose it. He will hear more sound overall and will have binaural hearing which gives perception of the direction that sounds are coming from. There is no compensating by the other ear, that’s a myth.

My ds had really bad glue ear. He had grommets fitted three times and only grew out of it at about age 11yo.

I absolutely would get him hearing aids. In fact he requested them himself aged 6yo, but we ended up getting grommets again for other reasons.
You don't realise how much they're missing until they get those sounds. Two things come to mind, one after his 2nd set of grommets, where he was running through leaves and he stopped, looked at me and said "mummy, the leaves didn't crunch last year". Yes they did. That was the hearing.
The second when he came out of school after his 3rd set of grommets to tell me with great excitement that did I know that ch and sh were different sounds? He'd always heard them the same before.

Now I'd have said each time that his hearing was fine. He could hear a whisper of chocolate from 100 paces... but it wasn't. It was only when he had the grommets in that I would realise how much he depended on lipreading, other cues.

@foncused x I could have written your post a few years ago.

DD has unilateral moderate/severe hearing loss in her left ear. It was picked up in hearing tests at end of reception. She did get a hearing aid which she wore most of the time during primary school years. It definitely helped with overall hearing and specifically with directional hearing.

Since she started secondary school she has hardly worn it, she compensates so well with her right ear, and says it is actually more annoying then helpful. She is now 15. She doesn't always hear things from her left side, and can't tell where sound is coming from but otherwise has no problems - it has not affected her education or speech .

@bairnk This is also something that has crossed my mind -- whether another consultant would say differently or recommend a different approach. I am awaiting a second opinion at GOSH (DS is already a patient there for other things), but it will take time and I don't want to jump into anything before then.

My dd has severe unilateral hearing loss. She really struggled in school until she was diagnosed and got her hearing aid. She’d get very tired easily and disengage and was making very little progress. She doesn’t wear the hearing aid at home or on holiday - just for school. She def needs it.

@Amiable Thanks for sharing that. Did your DD only start to find it annoying later on, or did it bother her from the start? Do you feel she would have compensated with her right ear from the start, or only because she had a good speech and language foundation from the early years with the HAs?

My DD has very minor unilateral hearing loss - they've brought it up from moderate in both ears - and it's still very much affects her when she's in a class or noisy environment and I've had massive battle with school to just place her in a classroom on her better hearing side. She gets tired out if not and missing chunks of words at times.

If the Dr is recommending hearing aids then it will likely be the best thing.

OP, give your child the opportunity of the best hearing they can possibly have. Even if it deteriorates in the future, they will have learnt to make the best use of what they have got.
If you do not, your dc will only be able to function at the level they are limited to.
That's putting it very bluntly, but it is the truth.
How do I know this? Because one of my own DC has a severe visual impairment (in fact they are registered blind). In all of my contact with sensory services support (for all senses, bear in mind), I have had a very clear message - use it, or lose it.
I totally understand that it will be hard for you to accept, but your child will benefit from you getting them help as soon as possible.

A previous poster was right. There is no such thing as an ear 'compensating' for the other. The child just has to concentrate harder. The hearing in the other ear doesn't make up for the loss.

@happinessischocolate it’s all very well saying don’t go private but at that time the NHS would not offer us the type of aids that were acceptable to my child and we wanted him to have them . He did need lots of mould changes but that was actually not overly expensive even in those days and he never lost an aid although we had them covered on our house insurance in case of that eventuality.

I think that's the hearing loss I have. I find my hearing aids do help.

I lost hearing totally in one ear at 6 or 7 years old caused by mumps. It took a long time till anyone noticed, I was tested for hearing, speach, vocabulary etc. Never had a hearing aid. It's been a faff sometimes in big crowds with lots of talking and having a formal dinner conversation 'to the wrong side', but that's it really. It has its perks too, I can close out everything if I sleep on that ear .

Do what you find best for your ds, my advice would be to start early and see if he can get used to wearing it. I've tried my mums hearing aid in my 'good' ear and the quality of sound made it harder for me. (Also make sure your ds can see your mouth as long as he is learning, I don't lip read as such but when there is background noise I automatically look at the lips for enhanced comprehension).

Best of luck.

@foncused I don't think the HA actually had anything to do with her speech - she only started wearing it when she was about 6, and we had no idea she had a hearing impairment until it was picked up in the test at end of reception year in school. Even her teachers were shocked! She has definitely been compensating since birth (the issue is with her auditory nerve) and nobody ever noticed her hearing loss.

for DD the frustrating thing is when the HA stops working - the battery runs out halfway through the school day or whatever. We've also had to replace the HA a couple of times because it broke. I think there was also an element of not wanting to be different to her peers, although she denies this!

She admits that when she uses it, it definitely helps. I would go ahead and get them - if you DS then decides later he does not want to use them at least you have given him that option.

She has definitely been compensating since birth (the issue is with her auditory nerve) and nobody ever noticed her hearing loss.

Absolutely this, I passed several hearing test at the school nurse/doctor. My parents only found out as I couldn't hear my dgm on the phone when I finally put it to my deaf ear.

The specialists said it was common, they said that sound was transplanted through the bone (scull). But that was a long time ago.

That was for @Amiable .

OP, it sounds to me as if you need to grieve the hearing loss. I know that sounds odd, but I think whenever our dcs have something that means that they might need more medical etc intervention, we need to grieve the loss of the child that isn't.

It is fine to do that, and to allow yourself space to do that.

I used to help out in dds reception class, one of her friends there wore hearing aids, due to bad glue ear.
I used to help with reading and phonics. He presented fine, speech good, worked well in class, no problemplaying with anyone in the playground etc.
But doing phonics with him, I realised how much he could not hear. He could not distinguish letters that have the same mouth shape (p and b) he could not hear the difference between aspirated sounds and non aspirated (when you breathe out as you say the sound) and as a result was really struggling with reading/phonics.

Yes I found the same as @steppemum with my dd, it was hard for her to distinguish between similar phonetic sounds before she got her hearing aid. Once she got it, her reading just took off after a year of struggling.
Kids adapt and compensate to hearing loss without aids but that’s not always a good thing. A friend of mine went for ages as a child with hearing loss and no aids and she developed lots of tricks to manage it. Some like lip reading are great but others can be damaging. When her son was diagnosed with hearing loss she couldn’t get him hearing aids fast enough.

Get the hearing aid. If he chose not to wear it as a teen/adult then that's fine. However, I expect he'll be disadvantaged at nursery/school unless he does.

I have to admit I don't often wear mine (haven't worn mine at all since I started working from home). I did get one when I started secondary school and I needed it then, and I need it when working with young children (their voices are higher pitched). My whole family need aids, and children I have in the future will probably need them too (my family are much better at wearing theirs than I am). I rely on lip-reading most of the time, and BSL at large conferences (I'm the only member of my family to learn BSL).

I learned to pronounce words correctly by learning to read. I would never have got phonics, luckily when I went to school I learnt by sight words and worked it out from there. With my high frequency loss I can't hear all the phonemes and I didn't get my aids until I was 10. If he can't hear the sounds, he will struggle to know what sounds are meant to be in which word.