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Children's health

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13 month old - are drs ignoring me or am I being a overly worried mother?

62 replies

mimmlw · 08/11/2020 19:54

So DS is in hospital at the moment but the doctors barely seem to be listening to me. I keep getting comments like 'take it you're a first time mum' and 'babies get poorly'. It's only a handful of nurses that have directly seen him when he's having a particularly bad hour that have showed any understanding.

History - in September we were in Turkey (booked pre-covid) he had a hospital admission as his temp was over 40. We gave him calpol and ibuprofen and it didn't come down. (Covid neg). Hospital suggested IV antibiotics but we were leaving soon so we took him home and was on amoxicillin. He improved after about 10 days and his temp came down.
But he's never been 'right' since. He's gone off solid food, he gets regular fevers that last 1-3 days (but come back shortly after), rashes that pop up and just seems to be extremely susceptible to any kind of infection and it always hits him hard. Every time it happens we've taken him to the hospital/GP and they've always just said 'oh it's something viral we can't really do anything about it but come back if it happens again' and sure enough every time we go back we get the same response and they have never referred for admission because he would be more at risk of catching Covid on the ward. Fair enough his temp always went away but why did it keep happening??

Rewind to 11 days ago he started with his usual symptoms of a temp but this time he had cold like symptoms alongside. Rang drs on day 4 of this not going away for them to say get a covid test or we won't see him. Fair enough, Covid test negative. I then go to see a doctor every day as calpol was becoming less effective and his temperature was spiking higher every day. On day 7 he was prescribed antibiotics for suspected tonsillitis, although no two doctors can agree on whether he actually has it or not. Day 10 I go into hospital with him and I'm sobbing to the doctor that I cannot control his symptoms. I woke him up that day, his temp was near 41 and he was barely responding to me. Sods law that as this dr was seeing him DS decided he was having a good hour so although his temp was still above 38 he was trying to walk about and play. So obviously the Dr is dismissive saying 'take it you're a first time mum' and saying this is normal. I demand to be seen on the children's ward.

The ward see his temp is high and that he has had this temp for 10 days and has already been on antibiotics for 2 days so order a chest xray, blood count, urine culture and blood culture. Everything so far has come back as no cause for concern, apart from his white cell count is high (consistent with infection). He’s also had 2 other blood tests this year where his white count is high due to infection. Whilst admitted, his temp was spiking to 40.5 even whilst medicated, his heart rate ranged from 155-194BPM, high respiratory rate and his O2 stats were fine. He’s clearly unwell, and he’s unable to fight it off.

He’s been discharged after a day and told that they can only do what I can atm in terms of his temperature is stabilised about 70% of the time as we have a good routine of ibuprofen/calpol going, but when it’s wearing off his temp is till spiking above 40. Gave me open access to ring back every time his temperature spikes so they’ll be on call if I do need to rush him in if he goes unresponsive and I need to call back within 48 hours (which will be day 13) and if he still has a temp then he’ll have to be readmitted as clearly the antibiotics aren’t working and they’ll have to investigate further. I already know that the antibiotics aren’t working, we’re on day 3 of the course and he’s getting worse not better. The Calpol is managing symptoms for an issue that is just getting worse and I’m worried how far this is going to go.

I’m worried that he has some kind of problem with his immune system. He is constantly getting infections and when he does he’s struggling to fight them off. I raised this with the doctors already and they said he will need 7 overnight admissions before they’ll even consider it!! He would be close to that already if they had admitted him every time he came in, and he was only admitted this time because I broke down crying that this kept happening and basically demanded a second opinion from the paediatric team. I can’t bear the thought of him just having to carry on like this. He can’t do anything or go anywhere and it seems every other week that we’re being housebound completely (I know we’re in lockdown but I can’t even take him to the shops for fear of him getting chills or even picking up something else!). Like what if this is something really serious like god forbid Leukemia or something along those lines? Would they pick up on it blatantly or could something like that go undetected if they’re not looking for it? (I know this is an unlikely scenario and I am not trying to self diagnose him at all!)

I feel like a neurotic mother (because that’s the way I’ve been treated since September except by a handful of doctors that have actually taken their time with us) but I just know something isn’t right. Symptoms that I know he has (like he is currently really unsteady on his feet falling over - being brushed off because they think that’s just how 13m/olds walk but he is typically a VERY confident walker) are being ignored and doctors that aren’t even taking the time to take his full medical history are just saying things like ‘well kids do get ill’ but not like this they don’t!!

I’m terrified that there’s something seriously wrong and that it’s going to be missed until its too late. This is not my healthy little boy that I had for the first 10-11 months of his life. He won’t even eat solid food - a couple bites here and there on his good days - and has gone completely back onto formula (which is already being monitored by HV) and he just seems to have not grown but he’s still within the ‘normal’ parameters for his age (even though he’s plummeted from 90th centile to 25th). All of this info might not be relevant but I know what my gut feeling is.

If you’ve been through similar - How did you convince med profs to take you seriously? Am I just being neurotic? I know mums net is not the place for medical advice but have any of your LOs had similar symptoms?

I’m sorry if this is really ranty and incoherent, I’m getting to the point I’m crying several times a day because Im so scared and I feel like I should be fighting harder for him but I don’t know what else I can do 😭

OP posts:
babbafett · 08/11/2020 20:04

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I haven't been in your position before with a child. My LO is only 5 months so cant comment on symptoms but I have been fobbed off by medical professionals before.
Dont beat yourself up as it sounds like you are fighting as hard as you can.
Can you lay out all your concerns as you did above and put it in writing to both your GP and HV? I'm not in the uk so I dont know the system but I think any time you put something in writing people tend to take it more seriously. Also means you get everything out without emotion so they arent, unfairly, thinking you are an overly worried first time mum.

OhTheRoses · 08/11/2020 20:06

Does he go to a child minder or nursery where he picks up infection after infection? It is possible that teeth are causing him to suffer more than most.

In doubt ask for a private referral to a paediatrician. And keep calm - probably a phase.

DS had bronchiolitis at 4 months, pneumonia at 5 months, then the incessant ear infections started. He was committed at 15 months and I gave up work. Needless to say at 4 months he was 75 to 90th centile - by 10 months bumping along the 9th.

The chronic asthma faded away by the time he was about 6.

He played first XV rugby, first team football and first team cricket. He reached over 6 foot and took a first from Oxford.

He was so poorly from 4 months until about 16 months op; but none of it was incurable although it was a bit of a long haul.

MummaGiles · 08/11/2020 20:09

I would suggest exactly the same as PP. Write to your GP and HV so there is a record of EVERYTHING.

OhTheRoses · 08/11/2020 20:10

Grommetted not committed.

lambo88 · 08/11/2020 20:11

Oh god hun this sounds terrible and as a mom myself u have a gut feeling and just no when ur child isn't well...I would ring the HV or keep taking him back to a&e xx

sarahc336 · 08/11/2020 20:15

Sorry I have no medical advice to offer but I can assure you that from an outsider you are not coming across to me as neurotic, he sounds like he needs to be in hospital so you are responding as any other mum would and don't let them let you think any other way, xx

HappyThursdays · 08/11/2020 20:19

I think it is worth seeing a paediatrician

Dd had v similar and was in and out of hospital actually v similar to @ontheroses

Like you I worried she had something wrong with her immune system and I actually paid for her to see an immunologist

I can't remember what her results were (this was a long time ago) but the bottom line was that she had many allergies that were making her overall health worse (diagnosed by a specialist the immunologist sent us to). She also eventually had her tonsils out and tbh this gave her the biggest improvement to her health (she was 18 when this happened - before that, the GP was not interested but we paid to see a private ENT who said she had the largest tonsils he had operated on that year).

She is now in far better health but it was a journey and like you, I felt I was her only advocate in all of this

Do not give up - it is v hard to find someone who will join the dots up.

Good luck and hope he gets better soon

I also think for some children it takes a long time to recover from each illness and they need more recovery time. Dd finished school with 72% attendance which was abysmal but that shows how often she was getting properly ill!

She's now 20 and a different person

MagicoRomantico · 08/11/2020 20:23

I am on your side. Please keep speaking up for your son. Something isn't right!

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 08/11/2020 20:36

Keep going back, stick to your guns op. I had similar with one of mine, from turning 1 he was constantly ill with really high fevers. Always dismissed as viral. He was ill All The Time. Usually with a very sore throat. Then he got some lumps in his neck. He had blood tests and thankfully nothing sinister, he finally had his tonsils out last year age 6 and the difference in him has been amazing. He's put weight on and has not had a fever since.

campion · 08/11/2020 20:39

I'd be wondering about recurrent tonsillitis. It can make them really ill very quickly. DS had it from about 9 months,though it was usually described as an ear infection initially until we ended up in an isolation ward as they didn't know what it was! Each attack was worse than the last. After telling me it could be 'very serious' in hospital it did turn out to be tonsillitis.

He had the tonsils out and the high temperatures went overnight.

Disclaimer - obviously this is just my experience and I have no medical qualifications! But I used to imagine all sorts of awful things which turned out not to be true.

PlanDeRaccordement · 08/11/2020 21:05

OP
This all started in Turkey. It is still possible to catch malaria in SE Turkey from May to October. Your trip was in September...what part of Turkey did you visit?

The symptoms of malaria in children are high temps, chills, vomiting , diarreha that come and go in cycles and each episode lasts around 48hrs. Anorexia- not eating/no appetite for solid food is also common.

These all match the symptoms you have listed. Only the rash doesn’t fit but could be a sweat rash as a result of the fever/chills.

It can’t be bacterial as he’s had antibiotics. You say he’s had tests but no positives and does have high white cell count. Did you tell them he first got this when abroad? Because they may only have tested for things you can catch in U.K. can’t catch malaria in U.K.

Has he been tested for malaria?

mimmlw · 08/11/2020 21:40

Good idea about keeping a written record!

@ontheroses he's been to nursery twice which was in October but this all started before then and he barely gets to go because he is always ill :( and as for the teething there just seems to be too many symptoms that don't fit teething that come on like full body rash, coughing fits and the temp is just far too high. When he does teethe he is very specific and I can typically tell that a mile off. That's really reassuring to hear that he is doing better even though he had a bumpy start ❤️

@HappyThursdays good idea about paying for a specialist! I'll definitely look down that route if he isn't sorted by Tuesday which is when they want to hear if his temp is down or not. He's seen an amazing dr in a&e but I can't get him to see her directly as she's just an A&E dr which is really sad as she is one of the only ones that's truly been on my side! I originally thought that maybe he is just taking time to recover but it isn't even a recovery process at this point, it's just actively getting progressively worse 😢

@campion funny you should say that as the drs in Turkey originally assumed he had an ear infection! They can't ever seem to make their mind up what they're going to diagnose him with each time. There's a lot of tonsillitis comments so I'll definitely query - thank you!

@PlanDeRaccordement I've told every dr that this did start in Turkey but none of them have ever mentioned anything about Malaria. I don't think I was in an area where it really happens and it wasn't even mentioned as a possibility when we were in Turkey and they did a full blood test. I'll mention it if we go back Tuesday though thank you!

OP posts:
WhySoSensitive · 08/11/2020 21:50

I would be concerned about parasites. (Intestinal parasites he may have picked up in turkey)
I know that’s random and can’t really pin point why but it’s just what stuck in my head as I read your post!)

Hope you get some answers soon OP! A&E over and over again if you must!

ReggaetonLente · 08/11/2020 21:55

The walking thing prickles my senses. I really don't mean to worry or alarm but
i must mention this on behalf of a dear friend who raises awareness - have they discussed post viral encephalitis?

Alexandernevermind · 08/11/2020 21:58

As some others have said, this could be a tropical disease from Turkey. I remember a cousin not being quite right for a while after her holiday in that area. Don't we have a tropical disease centre in the UK, could you get referred?

mimmlw · 08/11/2020 22:04

@WhySoSensitive he's had quite a few stool samples taken since September - I assume that was to check for parasites and no result from them.

@ReggaetonLente the walking thing only seems to have started this week. He seems to be walking 'wider' to steady himself and struggling to balance normally - although they've said he has some ear wax build up so we assumed they were linked. I've had a quick google and can't find much on post viral encephalitis - do you have a link or any more info?

@Alexandernevermind I'll definitely mention it! Thank you!

OP posts:
peakotter · 08/11/2020 22:04

Just to say that if you have open access to ring the children’s ward then that is a sign they’re taking it seriously. Round here it’s almost impossible to get that, and we’re not at a busy hospital.

I’d give them a ring to check every time it spikes. It gets it on record. Keep your calls calm and factual “just to let you know that his temp is xxx again as I was asked to ring back if this happened” . The more data they have on file the more they can see what is really happening.

Trust your instincts, ignore the comments and keep it factual. You will get there eventually.

doadeer · 08/11/2020 22:09

I don't have any experience but you absolutely don't sound neurotic that sounds so stressful and upsetting for you all. I really hope you get some answers and support 💐

Totally unrelated area but I've recently had an experience of not being taken seriously with chronic pain and it can be so so frustrating.

Cinderellashoes · 08/11/2020 22:12

I’m fairly sure the nice guidelines state to test for specific things if a child has had a temp for more than 8 days? I’ll try and find the info. What is his white cell count?

Feetupteashot · 08/11/2020 22:14

Could be lots of things so hope they see you as outpatient. Can you take a urine sample before antibiotics next time there's a fever? Would rule out urinary tract infeyat least

Oly4 · 08/11/2020 22:14

This sounds so hard. Kids can pick up bug after bug at that age. My dc were in and out of A&E for entire winters with insanely high temps and bugs until they were 2.
But every time he is unwell and you can’t control his symptoms, you are quite right to take him back and ask for answers.
I would try to calm down about the serious illnesses, for example leukaemia would have been picked up by now in the blood tests.
But I would keep notes of all your hospital visits, what is said by whom and also say you have a list of questions you want answering calmly - could this be a tropical illness picked up in Turkey? Could it be malaria - have they screened for that? Just ask calmly and ask what they have ruled out so far.
If anybody else says you’re being a “first time mum” tell them not to patronise you thank you.

Oly4 · 08/11/2020 22:16

Also I agree about the open access thing.. if they have said you should call regarding his temps then do

mumtoallboys · 08/11/2020 22:18

I feel your pain. My first ds spent the first 18 months sick with temperatures that would come and go. They always responded to medication though, so a bit different, supositsries worked better than oral. I suspect it was ear infections because as soon as he had grommets it went away. My gp is lovely but really thought I was just panicking. Years on, I know there was something wrong with him at the time. I felt so isolated because nobody would listen... until he had delayed speech and the therapist said that we should get a hearing test... he got grommets and never had a problem again.

Have they checked for urinary track parasites? They cause a lots of temperatures .

InescapableDeath · 08/11/2020 22:24

You need a smart and sympathetic doctor. My son got ‘ear’ infections every two weeks when he was little, he was off ill so much it was awful (6mths-18mths).

Eventually he saw an ENT consultant who quickly determined he had infected adenoids that were never clearing the infection. Occasionally this was spreading to ears but they weren’t the cause. Shortly after he got them whipped out at GOSH and he was never ill so frequently again.

Every other doctor just kept saying it was regular viruses.

OhTheRoses · 08/11/2020 22:35

Continuity with a consultant paediatrician would be helpful but you will probably have to pay for that. Rinse and repeat every time you attend please may I see the consultant, have the concerns been escalated to him or her? I would like to speak with the consultant. I am sure much of the problem arises from seeing different people continually and threads of communication that never quite join up.

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