Help with vaccination decidion

[Colinsmum1]

Hi all.
My partner and I are still trying to concieve (12 months now :( ). And the topic of vaccinations keep coming up. He is against vaccinating our children ( in the future) and has done some extensive research against it, I on the other hand am a registered nurse and currently pro vaccines. Obviously this has sparked some arguments but we have both agreed to do some research together to come to a conclusion together. I am not completely against anti vaccines but I feel I need more evidence and to talk to like minded people. My family have vacinated all their children but his side of the family are anti vaccine.
Am I a bad health care professional if I dont get my children vaccinated?
Will I be a bad mother?
What are your experiences
Thanks M x

I’m sorry to read that you are struggling to conceive. That must be very difficult and I hope you get your positive test soon.

Sorry if this part of my response is blunt but I have no time for this twaddle about not vaccinating and being anti vaccine. If you have a baby then I am firmly in the get your children vaccinated camp.

There will always be people eager to tell you not to though. What is this “extensive research” ?

As a parent the risk of my child dying of something I could prevent or largely prevent via an injectIon which for the vast vast majority of children confers nothing but protection - not learning difficulties, near death or something else - is a no brainer to me.

I appreciate there anomalies but they are just that. I believe in vaccination. I agree with you.

I would not, just not, have children with an anti-vaxxer. There's no research, not vaccinating your children is stupid and irresponsible.

I am not anti vaccines and my dc have had the normal vaccines however I have not and will not give them vaccines that I feel are unnecessary- flu jab/ chicken pox(which is all the rage where I am!).

I'll bet this 'extensive research' involves watching videos on social media and YouTube and reading stuff produced by non- medically/ health qualified people.

You both need to read some professional, peer reviewed research. Look at stuff by the world health Organisation, CDC, BMJ etc.

However, most anti- vaxxers seem to think information from reliable sources like this is some sort of conspiracy theory.

Is your DP, a doctor, an epidemiologist or some similar profession?

Or is 'extensive research' actually code for 'titting about on the internet'?

Yes I know that sounds harsh, but there's research and there's 'research'

You must, as an HCP know how wrong headed he is being on this. Is he gullibie in other aspects of life too?

I would consider you a pretty incompetent HCP as you would seem unable to appraise evidence and apply it to your practice (parenting).

Yes I would consider it neglectful to not vaccinate your child (in the absence of medical reasons that would preclude vaccination) so I would consider you a ‘bad’ parent.

My experience is that as a doctor and a parent, I chose to vaccinate both my children against diseases that could kill them or make them seriously unwell, and by doing so help protect those vulnerable members of society who are unable, through no fault of their own, no be vaccinated.

I also got mine vaccinated against chicken pox, which still kills a small number of children in the U.K. every year, and hospitalises many more. As well as often being rather unpleasant for the child.

I would think very strongly before having a child with someone whose views on such an important matter differ so wildly to my own, as it is often an indication that you will continue to disagree on important aspects of parenting

@Mummyshark2018 please let me know if you still feel the same way if, god forbid, you have to watch your little one nearly die due to chicken pox.
I have been through this, DS wasn't even 2 y/o and in the space of 30 mins we went from maybe losing his leg due to amputation, to full on crash cart resuscitation.
He is now fine, but 10 years later with my second, I have taken no chances and paid for the chicken pox vaccine. Rationally I know (and was told at the time) that I could not have prevented the effect of chicken pox on DS, I also know that DD would probably not suffer in the same way, but, why on earth would I take that chance if I could do anything to prevent it.

I have two friends whose children died from chickenpox .

Please vaccinate, it isnt just your own child you are putting at risk (from preventable diseases) but the decision not to vaccinate will put other peoples babies and children at risk who are unable to vaccinate due to young age/allergies/existing medical conditions and all because DH read some rubbish online and decided he knows more than years and years of research by qualified doctors and scientists.

Most nurses I know are incredibly PRO vaccine, having worked on Paeds wards and seeing (eg) measles, whooping cough and severe chicken pox complications first hand.

This may seem like an extreme reaction but I would not be having a child with someone who took this position and caused you so much doubt in yourself. If there had been a serious vaccine injury in the family (incredibly rare but I don’t deny it can happen) then I would understand. But unless your DP is a research scientist or similar, “a lot of research” will equate to rubbish on the internet.

I work with scientists, Senior doctors and public health experts. They have all spent on average 15 years qualifying and their life’s work is improving vaccination rates to save lives.

Omg you're a nurse and you're taking his "extensive research" seriously?

I actually couldn’t raise children who disagrees with something so key and fundamental about their wellbeing.
And as a nurse I’m pretty shocked you’re even entertaining this “I’ve researched it on the internet” BS.

Oh no way could I be with someone who's anti vaccines. He's purely gone off his family's research which probably was 'well we were not vaccinated and we're all fine' just no. Vaccinate your child.

And top of the list of thing that never really happened today.........
Are you sure you are not an anti-vaxx troll?

So you claim to be a medical professional yet you are entertaining anti-vaxx discussion as though it might have any validity whatsoever?

Am I a bad health care professional if I dont get my children vaccinated? Yes
Will I be a bad mother? Yes (unless it is medically contraindicated of course)

Oh and he has not done 'research', and neither will you be. All he has done and you will do if you entertain it is read some anti-vaxx websites and watch some youtube videos by paranoid tin foil hat wearing clowns.
If he really has done research that is able to definitely prove that every single vaccine (rather than a single particular one) is dangerous and unnecessary then it shouldn't he too difficult for him to collate it all, write a bit of narrative around it and get himself a PHD out of it - but we know he hasn't.

Your partner sounds like a prat. I wouldn't TTC with him until he somehow grew more brain cells.

He should not have children. People like him are why some parents have to bury their children.

I'm another person who knows a child who suffered major complications due to chicken pox and subsequently died! Chicken pox vaccine IS necessary!!

I wouldn't trust a HCP who had their head turned by an unqualified antivaxxer.

Another one saying I wouldn't have a child with a man with this viewpoint. In fact, I struggle to see how I could see a future to the relationship, children or not.

Ok, here's an idea. Imagine a world where there's a potentially potent viral
disease, that can be very harmful and potentially lead to millions of deaths. Imagine if everyone in the world weren't able to, or decided not to vaccinate against the horrible disease.

Imagine the consequences? That couldn't really happen in real life, could it?

Oh wait...

I waited 6 years to get pregnant and when my much longed for child was 7 months old she got measles. Watch your longed for child go through that and then tell me your beloved partner isn't a thick twat. And yes, unless there is a really good reason for it, you would be a shit mum, because no mother should put another mum's children at risk like you are prepared to do.

What’s your partner’s job? Is he high up in R&D of a global pharmaceutical company? Or a respected public health expert, specialising after he finished his medical degree? I assume so.

I hope you and he do not think posting a “Should I vaccinate?” On ANY forum counts as “research.” !

Yeah. Extensive research. On Google. Another thick twat. Yes, in amazingly rare cases vaccines cause allergic reactions that can be fatal. Like about a million to 1. If the risk I'm mitigating is much higher, I'll take the smaller risk. You know that. I couldn't be with someone that stupid.

Also, some of us signed our kids up to the Oxford vaccine study that came through the GP, which looks at immune response to vaccines over time. They rang me up today to ask if we wanted to go on the longitudinal study, which will review ongoing effectiveness of vaccines throughout life. I'm happy to contribute to medical research that helps advance our knowledge.