3 year old has never liked meat, I'm vegetarian and getting a lot of grief.

[cambsmumfrom2016]

Hi all,

I need some advice/suggestions...

I'm 30 and vegetarian, I choose to become a vegetarian at 8 years old on my own free will as I did not like the taste/ textures of most meat/fish and was learning about the production of meat.

I eat a lot of meat alternatives, Quorn mainly (the newer plant foods have developed too much of a similar texture to meat so not keen)

Anyway I'm a pretty laid back vegetarian and regularly cook meat/fish for my DH. When I got pregnant I was clear that I would not impose my lifestyle choice on my child and believe in the importance of nutrients from meat/fish when young.

She loves fish so that's fantastic, however she does not like meat...I can occasionally get her to eat a small bit if I do the 'you have to have a bite of Z before you can have yoghurt' etc but I'm really having to push it.

When we eat meals as a family, for example spag Bol / toad in the hole / stir fry / shepherds pie ...occasionally she will eat it but I'm talking ....about once every three weeks....it looks like we all have the same but she doesn't even like the Quorn!

I make sure she gets enough protein and she loves eggs.

BUT

My in laws are now saying it's on me due to being vegetarian she is middling my behaviour, and it is due to me not eating meat during pregnancy. ...is this even possible?

I have encouraged her from weaning and always had equivalent meals that look identical to hers but it doesn't make a difference. I introduced meat including ham etc early but she won't touch anything.

Do I back off her and see if she comes round to it. I don't want to push it too far and it create a bigger issue for her and her health and well being is my priority.

Please no nasty posts about my decisions so far...just a mum looking for friendly advice

Sorry in terrible at proof reading

I’m a vegetarian and if my children ask me why I’m not having the meat I tell them. However both my children very gladly eat meat. If fact they think nothing of eating duck with the head on, chickens feet or other very obviously meaty meats. Your In-laws are being ridiculous.

Gosh my son is nearly 3 and I can't get anything to pass his lips that isn't a complex carbohydrate or coated in chocolate at the moment. If they don't like meat then its not the fault of what you ate or any other factors, some kids are just more fussy than others.

Your inlaws need to butt out really, I take it they don't approve of you being veggie? It sounds like with eggs and such your giving a balanced diet. Less meals with the inlaws if possible!

My 6yo knows I’m a vegetarian. Have been since I was 10. She eats quorn/meat mince, sausages, chicken and some fish. I, like you, believe that vegetarianism is a choice that each person has to make but that doesn’t stop my DD being a fussy eater. We’ve desperately tried a variety of techniques to get her to eat more but she doesn’t. I have issues around eating unfamiliar food and don’t want her to have the same problems I do.

Ignore your ILs. You know you are trying to do right by your child and they should keep their nose out of it. My ILs regularly ask why DD won’t eat the salmon they’ve cooked and told me I need to fix her eating.

Meant to add the not the

Your in laws are talking nonsense and need to back off.

Don't have any advice, sorry.
If you didn't like the taste/texture of meat as a child, possibly your dd is the same?
It was weird that I liked same things as my mum, and hated what my dad liked as a child. My sister was total opposite, she liked things dad liked, and hated most of the things I liked. And we were served exactly same thing.
My dc is very fussy, and very sensitive to the texture and temperature of food. When he was younger, he wouldn't eat anything which was too cold or warm. He was a weird child who refused to eat ice cream.

I agree with Pink. It’s rubbish.
It’s perfectly possible to raise a child on a healthy and balanced veggie diet.
I eat meat but I don’t like fish. That’s not due to my mother’s diet in pg.

Tell your mil to stfu. None of her business.

I eat fish occasionally , but no meat. I grew up being incredibly fussy/disliking lits of meat despite everyone else in my family being die hard carnivores.

I have 2 kids, always fed them meat etc. One loves all meat now, after having an incredibly fussy few years of only eating a limited range of foods( including some meats). The other child started out as a fantastic eater, but now will not really eat meat and has developed fussy eating habits.

Kids go through stages snd find their own likes and dislikes.

Nothing wrong with kids being vegetarian

Who cares if she eats meat or not? It's hardly an essential food and as a vegetarian you know how to offer her a balanced diet
Tell your in laws to back off - why does it bother them as long as she's healthy

I brought my children up as vegetarian as I didn't cook meat or fish at home. My children were perfectly healthy. I always made it clear that they could eat whatever they liked away from home, so they both tried meat and fish on their own terms. They are adult now and my dd chooses to eat fish whereas my ds is a very strict vegetarian. I wouldn't push meat on a child. It can be a choice to eat meat and fish or not. You don't actually need to eat meat to have a healthy diet.

We have similar set up as you OP, for us DS doesn't like a lot of meat but also doesn't like the vegetarian versions either. The only meat-free we can get away with is the mince. He loves veg and fish, I have introduced meat here and there and some things he likes and most he doesn't. I just call him a pescatarian as that is what he is and I am fine with this, seems your daughter is this as well.

Your ILs need to back off.
I have a 3 year old with a fairly restricted diet (autism) and he hasn't touched meat since he was about 1, despite being offered it about 4 nights a week. He's growing well, very active and very healthy.

Even if your daughter was vegetarian, it can still be a healthy diet. It's just her preferences. Can your DH have a word with them?

I haven't eaten red meat since I was 5 with the exception of mince. For me, its a texture thing with an almost pathological fear of getting unchewable fat or gristle in my mouth. My mum gave up trying to tempt me after watching me douse the meat in ketchup and trying to swallow it without chewing.
That was 50 years ago and I'm still here - and a lot healthier than many people I know

Personally I think it's sick for a vegetarian to give their children meat in the first place. It's nothing to do with your inlaws. If they don't like it, they can back off out of your lives.

Nothing wrong with bringing your kids up veggie. Mine (9 and 11) are veggie - along with me and DH. DH has been veggie all his life, and I was heading that way when we met so it was an easy transition. The kids seem pretty robust and healthy - they are certainly very tall! And they are great eaters. (All the veg and fruit you can throw at them really!).
There are lots of cultures where it is perfectly normal to be veggie from birth.
Sounds like your in laws are worried about your children’s health when they don’t need to be. (I was going to say not being very supportive but maybe that comes from a place of fear of the unknown?!) I would back off trying to force her to eat what she doesn’t want to - causing more food issues will be worse in the long run than not eating meat.

My DD would not eat meat at all when younger. She struggled with texture and would spit anything meat based out! She lived for years on beige carbohydrates . I spent a lot of time worrying about it and talking with Heath visitors etc. She eventually started trying new things and now eats more different types of meat than I will! Your in laws need to butt out. Children can be fussy and you being vegetarian will be nothing to do with h

Sorry posted too soon!
You being vegetarian will be nothing to do with her not liking meat or refusing to try. I would Tell them to mind their own business

My kids are third generation vegetarians and are fit, healthy, and strong as oxen. Tell your in-laws to get bent.

I absolutely love meat. Ate loads of it throughout pregnancy.

My son was never that into it and became pescatarian at 5. He's 8 now, and despite seeing me and his father regularly eating meat, is still not interested in meat.

Even if you had influenced your child to not want meat, it's not your inlaws business and it isn't an unhealthy choice.

Nothing wrong with bringing up kids as veggies. They don’t miss out in anything nutrition-wise! My kids were veggie from birth as was I.

Do what works for your family and tell the in-laws to back off!

I don't eat meat. Haven't since 13. I'm open with my kids about it. They love chicken goujons, fish fingers and sausages but everything else is made with quorn (lasagne, spag bol) I make sure I buy the most ethical meat I am and I'm reassured that the protein from quorn is enough.
Personally I don't care what others think.

We are meat eaters, my son since about one year old absolutely refused all meat (except weirdly sausages) Some children just don't like the texture! We had no concerns about his health and ensured he had a varied diet, we cut down on meat ourselves so we were mostly eating the same meals.

He is now 4 and has started eating some meat, of course all he wants is the worst stuff, bacon and burgers. Weirdly says 'I want a hamburger' in a New York accent, thanks Youtube. He can have it as a treat occasionally but otherwise we carry on as before.

Anyway, there's absolutely no reason a vegetarian child cannot have a healthy nutritious diet with just a little bit of planning!

P.S the not eating meat in pregnancy is bollocks!