I can't do this anymore

[Peanut1989]

I came to bed at 10pm and this is the third wake up of the night already. DS is 17 weeks old and is so much worse now than when we was a newborn. I thought we were doing badly when he was going three hours but he's managed to prove me completely wrong and I'm not at the stage of not being able to see properly and I am constantly cold and shaking because I am so tired. I've gone numb to my life too and regularly burst into tears. I need to get away but I can't even have a break, during the day the only time he doesn't scream is when he is on me. I can't keep doing this.

I think the hard bit for me was that I assumed that sleep would gradually improve from new born up. No one told me it got worse (before it gets better). I bf two. One had awful reflux and the other undiagnosed health issues and refused a bottle. It's shit. Take the help and remember that it will pass.

So you have a bath and your selfish man child of a partner sabotages it?!?

OP, you baby will sleep through the night, probably sooner than you think but your partner will always been a selfish wanker. Do not allow yourself to become financially dependant on this man. Can you join some baby groups to start building your support network?

I'm sorry you're going through this, the baby stage is very tough and does pass

Lovely positive update. X

Dear OP, I don't have any advice as such but you poor lass, I felt so desperate for you reading this. My babies were just 'normally' difficult and I still struggled with the nights and the relentlessness of it all in the early days. (I'm of that 'older generation' and have NEVER forgotten the hard parts though I am so so glad I had my children, now they're adults who take me on holidays and don't get me up at night

I'm so glad you're getting a night off when the in-laws come on Tuesday.

I feel cross with your DP for being so unhelpful. Yes it's hard getting used to the needs of a baby but he SHOULD step up no matter if he has long days at work. My DH used to come in from work and I would put the baby on his lap the moment he sat down after changing out of his work clothes ... I needed that break so badly! - and he never complained because after all it was HIS BABY - just as much as it was mine.

You are SO not a failure. You are doing brilliantly just keeping that waily little creature alive, and nourished. It's really tough on you at the moment yet here you are, asking for help, trying everything, just to get things sorted so your little family can go on and thrive. I wish I lived near you so I could walk the squally little blighter around for a bit just to give you a break!

Oh well done, your boy is so lucky having a Mum trying so hard to do what's best for him.
Fingers crossed your DP will really step up during his week off, and that you manage to catch up on some good chunks of sleep while you can.

You poor thing.

I had the same with dd2. She was my third child (I had 10 yr old and 2 yr old also) and woke every 1.5-2hrs until she was 18mths old. Dh slept in the other room as he couldn’t deal with it on top of work.
In the end I brought her into bed with me and I practically slept while bf. Looking back it probably wasn’t a great result but it was the only way I could sleep.
In the end I had a lady from home start come to my house and sit with dd’s while I got a power nap in the day. It was the only way that stopped me going over the edge.

Have a word with your heath visitor.

Take care

Really glad you've got a plan in place for this week. Your DP needs to support you so it's good he's taken the week off. Is your DP lactose intolerant or allergic to dairy protein? It makes a big difference in treating a baby. Lactose intolerance is rare and almost always genetic whereas an allergy to milk protein is much more common. The hives suggest an allergy to a protein, most likely dairy but could be something else as you're breastfeeding.

I could have written your post word for word, it made me very tense just reading it. DD screamed nonstop and barely slept, was covered in eczema and the GP and consultant dermatologist told me there was no way it could be allergies. It turned out to be dairy, soya and egg IgE allergies but we didn't know until she was 7 months. Our sleep consultant actually diagnosed the silent reflux when our sleep diary showed 18 wake ups in three hours!

There's a CMPA For Breastfeeding group on facebook that you would probably benefit from joining. Also, if you can afford to go private then do as the NHS can be dreadful at allergy testing.

I ended up with quite bad trauma from DD screaming and hitting/headbutting me so I really hope you can get some help quickly.

You have my sympathy op. Mine didn't sleep until she was 4 years of age. I did have a breakdown because I couldn't ask for help. You do need to ask for help. I would gladly help anyone going through what I went through. It is a nightmare. Ask your aunt. Even though she works 4 days she might love to have your baby overnight sometime to give you a break