Daughter's first period - preparations...

[tazziecat]

What I’ve learned in the past 24 hours:

Being prepared for my 11 year old daughter's first period doesn’t just mean giving her sanitary towels to take to school...(I’ve discovered) 😬😔

This is what I wish I’d done in preparation:

• [ ] Let her choose some groovy reusable sanitary pads in advance (including a little bag and a ‘mucky bucket’ to put used ones into prior to washing)
• [ ] Let her choose some absorbent leak proof pants
• [ ] Get extra pyjama bottoms
• [ ] Get loads of cheap dark pairs of knickers that she has permission to bin if required
• [ ] Do some research - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/teenagers/1437358-Eeeeeek-first-period
• [ ] give her a note for PE if necessary
• [ ] Water bottle for extra hydration
• [ ] Vitamins? Is she allowed iron now?
• [ ] Get extra sheets for her bed
• [ ] Get 2 mattress protectors
• [ ] Replace her bunk bed with a normal one that she can get out of quickly
• [ ] Get age appropriate pain killers
• [ ] Be available to answer lots of questions and give hugs
• [ ] Always have loads of toilet rolls
• [ ] Give her a big thing of salt to remove stains
• [ ] Give her her own washing basket in her bedroom
• [ ] Have an enclosed bin in the bathroom
• [ ] Let her talk for ages to her friends about it in private
• [ ] Show her a hormonal graph so she can understand her mood swings (I used my Hormonology app for the graph)
• [ ] Help her to create an emergency bag to take to school, which contains:

- [ ] Spare pair of clean knickers - [ ] Pocket size wet wipes - [ ] Pocket tissues - [ ] 2 reusable sanitary pads - [ ] Bag for soiled pads - [ ] Pain killers

Any additional advice will be very gratefully received

I've been recommended the apps Clue and Flo to track her periods, but we haven't used either of them yet...(Flo won't allow her to have been born in 2007!)

If my mother had done all that in preparation for my first period, I'd of been wondering was manner of hell was in front of me.
Personally, I think keeping it simple, matter of fact, offering choice of sanitary products and being there to answer questions is all that's needed.

All in the space of a day way ott

Possibly a covert ad for one of those apps mentioned?

Come on guys this isn't AIBU. You've probably scared the poor off OP.

A lot of the list can be done quietly in the months/years before, like bins, washing baskets, mattress protectors, toilet rolls etc.

The 'emergency bag' needs to be done in advance too.

The OP didn't say it all had to be done en masse Day 1 of Period 1.

Personally, I think keeping it simple, matter of fact, offering choice of sanitary products and being there to answer questions is all that's needed.
^
Couldn't agree more.

Crying with laughter at this thread

Aww OP it sounds like you really want to make sure your daughter is okay with her period.

I think the more you talk about it, the less she will worry as it will become the norm.

Maybe just get her a little basket with a few packs of pads, spare knickers, some pain killers and a hot water bottle?

I don't think she needs a new bed, mattress protectors etc... she just needs to know it's normal and that she can talk to you and be comfortable with talking about it x

Salt does not remove stains

Salt water does

What a bunch of utter vultures. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Pouncing on a poster to make yourselves look big and clever, the lot of you need a shake. Bitches.

OP, I have 2 young ladies at this age. I've bought pads and shown them how to use them, talked about disposal. They have things in school bags.

I never thought about spare pants but will put some in, and painkillers too.

I will also buy extra pjs and bedding. My Dniece regularly floods her bed.

I understand why reusable are a good idea, but don’t force it please. Carrying around soiled towels would have been utterly humiliating at her age and leaves her very vulnerable to bullying.

Well a bit OTT. I always make sure dd (13) has pads in her school bag but never really thought about spare knickers. I will pop a pair in her bag. Mostly though her period tends to start overnight

Is this c and p from a site selling re-usable pads? There's a lot of sealed bin action there. Most teens are fairly slovenly in that direction, mine never clean loo after themselves never mind scrubbing knickers with salt!

Lurpak We have nappy sack bags in the emergency bags so knickers can be tied up in them to be brought home, though they also have permission to throw away if needed.

OP and Lurpak . As well as emergency bags with school bag / PE kit, you also need emergency bags in your weekend out and about bags, and/or car. In my experience you always need the bags on the one time/place you don't have them.

You forgot a hot water bottle

I gave her pads, black pants, painkiller, hot water bottle and cuddle.

christ what a fuss! Op should have a flagpole in the garden and run up a pair of stained knickers to let the world know when her dd has a period. Poor kid.
Get some painkillers in and show here where the sanitary towels are kept. that's enough.

Whoa Nellie.

1. have awkward conversation which ends with child saying, 'ok mum, shut up now I'm going to play Minecraft'
2. buy sanitary towels (lilets do teen pads) and stick some in a tin in their school bag (bodyform have freebie tins atm)
3. period starts, child tells you. You have another awkward conversation to make sure they are Ok, have they got what the need, if they have any aches and pains you'll get Calpol. This conversation will probably start with child saying...'don't go all wierd...' and end with child saying....' Ok shut up now I'm going to play Minecraft...'
4. buy wine and drink a glass (this has nothing to do with daughter starting her periods, but it's been a long day)

hazey Or you have my DD who went into denial (pretend it's not happening and it will go away)

My mum gave me some pads , told me how often to change them, and offered me pain killers and a hot water bottle. Op I'm sorry but your list is way over the top

My DM's idea of preparation was to leave a peak 1970s Lilets leaflet on my bed when I was 14... I had started menstruating a year earlier.

My DM went in to denial when I started. She simply said "no you haven't" when I told her. Ended up chucking my dirty knickers at her.

Instead of all the over prep, take a look at www.redboxproject.org and support one for your school. Clean pants, selection of pads and tampons from all major brands, with wipes and ziploc bag for soiled underwear. Everything a girl needs if she's caught short or unable to access san pro at home.

Please do not "pop a pair of pants into her school bag." Dm did that and I was so embarrassed; I was convinced they would fall out at a bad time in front of everyone. Let them make their own choices on such things.

I got the lillets starter pack for DD, that fits a couple of pads, spare pair of knickers and some calpol tablets nicely (she's 10).

After 3 periods, I'd say the extra thing I'd get is dark knickers. She's not quite got the hang of the pads staying in place or changing them frequently, so we get a few leaks. No drama - knickers come to me at bedtime, scrub with vanish, chuck in the next wash. But dark knickers would have stopped her coming to me in tears about the state of her pants on the first day.

I use Calendar to track her periods, helps me realise why she's being so mardy sometimes! And then i can give her a cuddle and we have a chat. She's still a child, she doesn't need to track her own mood swings, she just needs to know I love her and i understand.

Seems like you've thought of everything and a few extra things :-).
However, better to be over prepared than under.

I suggest you teach her how to gently hand wash her underclothes and tights, if she wears them, every night. That was something that mothers always taught their daughters prior to puberty, a matter of personal hygiene and self respect not to let anyone else wash your knickers.

I'm past having periods but I still keep a little bowl and some washing powder in the bathroom to wash my smalls, though now it's just me and the old man at home I have got lazy and tend to save for a couple of days and they go in the machine with other stuff. However, it's a good habit to instill.