Toddler not eating

[Butterflies27]

This morning I should be enjoying Christmas morning with my children but dd not eating again has left me in tears. My dd age 3y 9m has large tonsils and possibly adenoids which we are waiting for private ENT Consultant to agree surgery. She suffers with chronic bronchitis and is underweight at just 13kg. She has always been a poor eater as always poorly.

She had an ear infection 4 weeks ago and stopped eating pretty much for a week. Over the next week she picked at bits but then the ear infection came back and her appetite was none existent literally living off a handful of grated cheese and 3 Jaffa cakes.

She has had 3 weeks of antibiotics in just over 4 weeks. She has another cold and cough which is keeping us all up but her appetite is gone again. Meal times are a battle to get her to eat anything.

This morning she wanted a croissant but then didn’t like the texture of it so spat it out. She then said toast but eat none, then I made weetabix and we made her eat 4 mouthfuls (took 45
mins. Yesterday a 1/4 toast took over an hour.

We are suppose to be going to mils for Christmas lunch which I know she will eat none of it.

I don’t know what to do. She choked on a Pringle on Friday and now doesn’t like the feeling of eating. Please help.

Does she drink anything? Can you make high calorie milkshakes or smoothies? Bananas in full fat milk, that sort of thing?

I had awful tonsilitis a lot when I was small and then a couple of times every year (finally had them removed at 29). Would she ne happy to eat cottage cheese? The full fat one is about 6% fat so calorie laden and cool and easy to eat. Maybe have a look for banana based icecream recipes and freeze them into moulds. Could the antibiotics have knocked her appetite too?

I understand why you're so worried but you have to back off. If meal times become stressful for your DD she'll feel even less like eating. Offer her snacks little and often, offer her small portions at meal times and then step back - if she doesn't eat anything, clear it away without comment. It's a really hard thing to do but the less emotion that's associated with food the more likely she is to at least pick at something.

She will only drink water and some time orange juice, I’ve offered her milk shake and she just says it’s yucky without even trying it. She use to like bananas -the only fruit she would eat but won’t eat them now. I do think the antibiotics have knocked her appetite but I’m just so worried with her always being ill she’s never going to build a good immune system to fight anything if she doesn’t eat.

Your right nuttyknitter I should try to take a step back it’s just so hard. She is a pale tiny thing and I just want her so badly to be well.

I have started a food diary. Yesterday she eat for breakfast: 1/4 piece of toast (took an hour to eat it) Lunch: nothing (I treated the kids to a McDonald’s but she didn’t eat it cheeseburger happymeal saying it hurt her mouth, before I went she wanted one) Tea: half bowl of tiny pasta with sauce. Snacks: packet of skips.

The day before was breakfast: 5 mouthfuls of weetabix lunch: 2 pieces of ham out her sandwich tea: 1 turkey dinosaur. She left everything else she was given.

She seems to be scared of choking or things getting stuck in her teeth and will have a full on screaming melt down about it.

Do you think if she just eats how she is it would be ok? I’m not sure if I just left her she’d not eat at all.

This was exactly me six years ago this Christmas and it spoilt the day. My then four year old started refusing food on the 23rd and by Christmas Day taking one bite was a major deal. Everyone will tell you to back off and leave food out for her to pick at. I am sure that is the correct advice. But it is almost impossible to avoid begging and cajoling when you're worried sick.
We never did get to the bottom of it. Were at outpatients on Boxing Day but nothing could be done. She just slowly started eating again. I know none of this is any actual help to you, but letting you know that plenty have been through this, it's horrible and it's extremely hard to back off and stay calm. Sending support vibes!

Icecream? Treat food, calorific, soothing and easy to swallow.

Sorry to hear this, mine can be similar at times and I know it's very stressful. Does she like dipping? Little pots of peanut butter or cream cheese plus apple or bread sticks. Good way to sneak some cals in. Cheese in general, on top of things or mixed in helps keep the weight on mine.

Ice cream was something my ds used to eat when poorly - we bought the full cream variety for lots of calories. You could also try taster plates with a little bit of everything. Another idea is the special milk shakes peadiasure. They used to only be on prescription but i am sure they are available over the counter now. They are specifically designed for children who are not eating properly.

She won’t eat ice cream she says it’s too cold. I offered her bread sticks but she walked away. She’s playing with her toys, a little stroppier than usual but cold and bad night coughing prob won’t help her mood.

Thank you all so much for taking the time out of your Christmas morning to comment. I will try to chill (if I can) about the food. You’ve made me feel more reassured and the tears are gone.

Custard?

Chocolate mousse?

With it being Christmas I would try and back off completely and just leave lots of food around buffet style so she can graze.
She might - she might not but definitely try not to turn mealtimes into a battle for control because that rarely ends well with toddlers.
I know it is different because the root of this is illness but there is a fantastic book called 'Getting the little blighters to eat' which O often reread when my fussy eaters are getting me down.

Well I tried to not let lunch time become a battle and she ate nothing! It is 5:27pm and all she has eaten today is 4 tiny spoonfuls of weetabix.

Is this normal or do I need to think about taking her to the drs on Wednesday? Her appetite has been getting worse all week, to now her hardly eating anything. She says all food is yucky.

Is she having full fat milk with the weetabix?

Can you do foods like mash with cream in? As much as possible try to add full fat to what she eats.

Does she take a multivitamin?

I would consider a GP appointment so they can monitor her weight if nothing else.

Ds struggles with food for various reasons and is now prescribed high calorie drinks but that only happened when he started losing weight (he is 8 and has put on 0.1kg in a year and that is with the drinks) - today he has eaten a slice of toast, couple of mouthfuls for mash and sausage and a few squares of chocolate! It’s hard but keeping relaxed (or as far as they can see anyway!) is the best way to stop it being a battle.

Leave food around and she may pick at it

How is her weight - you mentioned it was low. Is it low but increasing, or stable, or even getting worse? If it's increasing, then I'd speak to your health visitor when you can. If it's getting worse, then see a doctor.

I've been there with the food (and a child who never wanted to wean, so not 'simply' a stroppy toddler) but she did want milk (still does) so we were spared the weight issues. That must be horrible.

Will she eat eggs, they're high protein and full of good fats, if she will eat them then you can add more calories and nutrients with veg or the below.

• banana pancakes, just mush a banana, mix an egg in then fry like little pancakes. They are sweet, light, fluffy and eggy.

Would she have smoothies with avacado or a dash of double cream in for extra calories?

She has a tiny splash of green milk in her weetabix, she stopped drinking milk when she was weaned off bottles. She wouldn’t touch an egg, we’ve had lots of nibbles out today and she’s not touched anything.

She asked for pasta which she normally likes but has taken 2 pastas off the spoon and spat them out. It’s like she wants to eat then doesn’t like it. I’ve been on dreaded google and wonder if she is turning in to a resistance eater. She has always been picky but not this bad.

She is on the 10th-12th percentile was up to 25th but back down again.

She is on haliborange liquid multivitamins, she was on abidec previously. I did want to get her to take the Holland and barrett multivitamins with iron but they are a chalky sweet and she just spits it out.

I’ve been keeping a food diary for the last week for ENT and she’s no longer eating anything she was.

Would she drink milk if it was in a bottle? I'm well aware that's deemed not ideal, but if you've got a child who's barely eating, I don't think that matters.

Definitely swap to blue top full fat milk for any cereal she will eat, even if you just buy a small pint for her. Mix grated cheese in anything like pasta so it's melted in. Full fat plain yoghurt (yeo valley green pot), full fat cream cheese, and butter and milk in anything like mash. My LG won't eat anything for weeks after being poorly so I feel your pain, it's terrifying when they're already poorly and pale. We throw all attempts at regular meal times out of the window and allow grazing, crisps, chopped banana, buttons etc in dishes whilst watching tv, picnic style food, etc. My theory is anything is better than nothing when they're ill (and then slowly return to normal meal times) Our best 'poorly food' is really milky smooth porridge made with full fat milk, for some reason it's her comfort food and she'll eat small amounts at almost every meal. Will she eat if food is offered by others? ...we were amazed after a good few days of no food when she ate a whole orange her slightly older cousin give her! Also grandma often has more success than we do. I definitely think there's a fear factor sometimes that it's going to hurt. Have you tried calpol an hour or so before a meal in case she has got another sore throat /ear that hurts when she swallows?...obviously not a long term solution but until your GP can have a look. Good luck, you have my complete sympathise as I really do know how stressful it can be.

Are you sure it's due to her tonsils and adenoids? She sounds like me and I have major issues with food texture to the point where it's classed as an eating disorder. I have had therapy and am so much better than I was so there is hope if it's that.

Does she say she's hungry or she doesn't like the feel of things?

We were having her tonsils and adenoids assessed due to her chronic cough (3 years now) and possible sleep apnea.

She has huge tonsils and has poor growth, lots of chest infections and most recently ear infections. The drs all think it’s her tonsils. I started a food diary just to monitor her in take but it’s been reducing daily.

About a week or 2 ago she gagged on weetabix I was feeding her, I obviously fed too many. Since then she’s been getting worse.

She’s just asked for Pringles licked it all over but said I’m not eating it. 😕

It’s all feeling tense here with dh and I, I think he’s just noticed how much she’s not eating.

Just a thought but my ds1 had terrible mouth ulcers when he was little. We could not work out why he had stopped eating and thought it was just that he was poorly but when we took him to GP he showed us inside his mouth and it was full of ulcers. He gave us a mouth spray which helped.

I think I’ll make an appt Wednesday to get her checked at the drs. She says it hurts in her neck when she eats but other times says food tastes yuck. She keeps wanting things she usually likes and then not liking them.

Well I’ve woke up and dd has been sick in bed whilst asleep-all water. She normally screams when she’s sick. I asked her if she was ok when she got some water from the bedside table and she said she was ok didn’t say she had been sick. She’s in my bed (another story.)

She was briefly awake before falling asleep with the lights on whilst we were changing the covers - could this be why not eating or just coincidence.

I’ve never known her not eat a day before being sick -reassurance needed please.

I'd probably take her to a walk in centre or out of hours GP if available in your area, sounds like this isn't just the normal food refusal/power struggles etc that's so typical for that age. When mine had a similar spell, it turned out he had a fungal infection in the mouth which he got after a course of strong antibiotics. This apparently is very sore and makes everything taste foul.

Not saying it's that of course but just that maybe there's a straightforward explanation