Toddler not eating

[Butterflies27]

This morning I should be enjoying Christmas morning with my children but dd not eating again has left me in tears. My dd age 3y 9m has large tonsils and possibly adenoids which we are waiting for private ENT Consultant to agree surgery. She suffers with chronic bronchitis and is underweight at just 13kg. She has always been a poor eater as always poorly.

She had an ear infection 4 weeks ago and stopped eating pretty much for a week. Over the next week she picked at bits but then the ear infection came back and her appetite was none existent literally living off a handful of grated cheese and 3 Jaffa cakes.

She has had 3 weeks of antibiotics in just over 4 weeks. She has another cold and cough which is keeping us all up but her appetite is gone again. Meal times are a battle to get her to eat anything.

This morning she wanted a croissant but then didn’t like the texture of it so spat it out. She then said toast but eat none, then I made weetabix and we made her eat 4 mouthfuls (took 45
mins. Yesterday a 1/4 toast took over an hour.

We are suppose to be going to mils for Christmas lunch which I know she will eat none of it.

I don’t know what to do. She choked on a Pringle on Friday and now doesn’t like the feeling of eating. Please help.

Have called 111 and they’ve put us on a call back from out of hours. So should hear within 12 hours. Offered toast this morning and again refused.

The sickness could be a symptom of low blood sugar or dehydration- is she drinking?
Can you get her to take some sugary drinks? Will she have a banana or plain digestive with the juice?

Well we managed to get her to eat a brioche yesterday, thought would break the cycle but no. She has again refused all food today.

Taken to dr who said if still not eating next week they’ll do bloods to rule out celiac disease but not worried even though she has lost 800g and at her lowest weight for this whole year.

Took a urine sample which showed protein and ketones.

Lo is adamant she is never eating again

Hi OP just wondered how things are now?

Sounds terrible; how worrying for you. hope your daughter is doing alittle better now?

Thank you for asking after dd, we’ve managed brioche and mini Jaffa cakes but she is refusing all other foods. She asked for spaghetti bolognaise for tea but refused to eat it. Not sure if in time it will get better or if I need to see a food therapist. Sometimes she doesn’t eat all day then at bed time wants a brioche -getting in to bad habits but can’t refuse her if not eaten all day.

A friend of mine has been dealing with similar behaviour in her 3 year old DS. She is now following the ‘what, where, when’ approach where the parent decides what is being served, where it’s being served and when. The child decides whether or not to eat it. She usually puts a few options down each meal. Eg pasta and sauce, grated cheese, cucumber sticks, sweet corn, bread (always bread) as she knows her DS will eat it. Then everyone helps themselves. If DS doesn’t want anything she just says ‘ok you don’t have to eat it.’ And she says this has taken all the bargaining and stress out of meals. Her DS is a lot less stressed and as a result he will normally pick out bread first and then have a bit of one other thing, so it’s working. I’m sure there are articles online about it as that’s where she read about her methods.
Anyway I really hope you have some success soon. It is so stressful.

That sounds like it makes a lot of sense 1sttimeunicorn I will read up on that method and try it, thank you. x

I think a therapist might be a good idea, just in case there are any issues you can resolve them now before they're committed to long term memory and enforcing her habits.

If it isn't a form of eating disorder then you've not done any harm by asking someone to have a chat to her about her feelings towards food. It would be done in a sensitive and age appropriate way so shouldn't cause any problems.

I am hoping that it's purely a physical issue and she'll get better after her surgery, crossing fingers for you both.

On another note, if she will drink orange juice, is there anything you can think of to add to it to make it more calorific that she wouldn't notice?

Don't force her to eat when not well. Mine went to a hot country and ate nothing but drank orange juice, water and milk and had one ice cream a day for nearly 2 weeks.

Thank you gummygoddess I will do a parent referral next week. I don’t think she would drink it if I put anything in it she’s a nightmare.

Thethoughtfox I think the hardest part is she’s been unwell since early December so her going off food on the 25th just came out of the blue. Other than brioche, skips and Jaffa cakes she is refusing all foods. When we do food and put a brioche on the table as well as her tea she refuses everything and is a diva at the table.

NRTWT but DT2 was a git eating (this was compounded by the fact that DT1 ate like a pig).
My saving grace was pasta with full fat philly stirred through it (broccoli/peas optional), fromage frais, avocado, tinned rice pudding, cheesy mash and some veggie eat alternatives as they mush down when you chew them.
As long as there is fluid going in - ice lollies and smoothies? - try to chill. It's really bloody hard though.

What about soup?

She wouldn’t touch soup, ice lollies or ice cream. She’s now saying brioche tastes yucky. Not sure what we’re going to do

Have you managed to get a referral from the gp? I think that seeing a specialist may make you feel better as it sounds so stressful.

I have phoned the children’s services section in our area and they have a speech and language but which covers food and they allow parents to do self referral so will get the application form printed and send off tomorrow.

Definitely think we need some help with it now.

My GP has a blood form for us to take lo to hospital to get checked for celiac disease -is it worth getting this done or is this unlikely ?

The speech therapist who I work with who specialises in eating issues is fantastic. Fingers crossed you get some answers.

Thank you. Hoping it’s not a too long wait. x

Hospital have just called my dh tonsillectomy booked for 17th Jan

That's good, I really hope this solves the issues! Might be a bit difficult to convince her to eat after if it's a bit sore but hopefully she'll feel better quickly.

Hi butterflies27,

My son is 3yrs 10 months similar weight, low appetite and chest infections so often I sometimes feel like hes permanently on antibiotics.
It must be really hard on you guys with her being so ill so regularly.

It seems to me like her tonsils might be making the swallowing worse/painful. and given that she has a low appetite anyway, she's not too fussed about skipping the meals.

Has she had a blood test? my son is severely anaemic and so apparently the anaemia was causing a complete lack of appetite. since they started him up on the iron supplements his appetite picked up a bit but not completely ofcourse. I dont feel like he ever enjoys food.

Im not sure if thats something to look into, its so upsetting and frustrating when they dont eat. and especially since you've been looking after a sick child

Have you also just thought about giving her less 'healthy' food. I remember when my son was diagnosed as anaemic, the GP said, if he wants you to make chicken and chips or burgers and chips or pizza, just let him eat it. its more important hes eating and getting calories in, than not.

Hi MaryAbr1, thank you for your comment. Sorry to hear your ds suffers like my dd -have you just been told they will grow out of it.

My dd has had bloods done they are on the lower end of normal but nothing they were concerned about - we did ask as well as we thought they were low. The ent consultant also wanted to check her notes to see if anything was missed before hand but has said to go ahead.

We have offered dd everything and anything we’ve taken her to the shops to choose things, on returning home she won’t eat any of it.

Literally all she is eating is Waitrose choc chip brioche-won’t eat any other brand and occasionally mini Jaffa cakes. She went to the Childminder’s on Friday and ate some skips but with the op next week we are keeping her home to avoid her getting ill as best we can.

I have completed and sent a self referral to the food therapy place but yet to hear anything. X