To be so worried about DS? World falling apart

[beggingbehind]

Sorry posting for traffic and don't know what to do.
Only days ago I was posting and worrying about a health problem of my self I feel so guilty.
DS 1 is 17 and has been experiencing stabbing pain under his left rib (know now its where his spleen is) been going on for ages it started to become un bearable so he finally admitted a GP visit was in order. TO give background to this Me and him have MH issues so going to the doctor is a massive anxiety point for him (and me). The GP thought it was either reflux but more likely an enlarged spleen all good so far we could cope with this. But she asked if he had any other symptoms anything atall he said; itchiness, tiredness and frequent urination. She checked his lymph nodes in neck, armpit and groin and said the ones in his neck were swollen. So sent him for bloods to check for infection- the GP also presicrbed some broad spectrum antibiotics. A couple days latter we were told to come back to discuss the results and were told that some of the liver enzymes were high- indicates a enlarged spleen. But said there was no sign of infection, so they're sending him for an urgent ultrasound scan within two weeks for a look to do a biopsy. I got worried at this point and asked what it could be the GP said it could be lymphoma and it needed ruling out. I froze at this point. I dont know what to do know, theres so many questions i should have asked same with DS. HEs a strong lad but when we got into the car we sat in silence for a minute and then he just cried. Hes in pain most nights its horrible Ive said if the pain gets to bad one night im taking him to a&e. I have 4 other DC at home and i dont know what to tell them, DH is saying dont worry it wont be cancer but what if it is.
Im so soory to ramble I just had to put it somewhere any advice is greatly received.

Glandular Fever. I'll put money on it.

My 15 year old was diagnosed with enlarged spleen, huge lymph nodes, and hepatitis because of it in Sept. She's only just starting to be herself now.

The way they list it is horrible, but look up Glandular Fever and you'll be very reassured.

He is your son but it is his health, not yours.

I know it is very hard but try to remember your job is to be strong for him, and to put supporting him ahead of your own anxiety.

FFS do not make this about you or let him see how worried you Re. Time to knuckles down and be strong for him I'm afraid. Swallow your feelings about how you feel and show him calm reassurance.

Worry about yourself and your feelings later.

Glandular fever would be by far the commonest explanation for these symptoms. Yes, lymphoma needs excluding, but it’s extremely unlikely that he has it. Waiting is horrible but please try not to panic. And to whoever suggested going to A&E, don’t be ridiculous.

Oh and my daughter was given a months antibiotics in case of underlying infection whilst we waited for all the bloods to come back. She's still being tested every 2 weeks now because it was such a horrific dose of GF.

I think I posted on the Health board here at the time actually.

Surely the GP would have asked for glandular fever to be tested for when his bloods were sent off? I would have thought.

aintnothinbutagstring
Surely the GP would have asked for glandular fever to be tested for when his bloods were sent off? I would have thought.

Our test came back as 'positive', so if I hadn't known GF was being tested for it wouldn't have been made clear to me.

I was also called in because of 'abnormal liver enzyme' counts. Which of course sent me into a flat spin as I didn't know it could be a side effect of GF. Her spleen was why we went to the GP though, she'd been in increasing pain for over a week, but no sore throat, no temp or any of the normal markers.

I don't think it's a good idea to advise a poster with quite clear health anxiety that they take their son to A+E when it is clearly nothing of the sort

The pathway to check this out is underway. Emergency dept staff will be unwilling and also unable to interfere with the process.

Op, trust your GP. It sounds like your son is getting timely and appropriate intervention.

i posted for support and alot of posters are coming back with some quite negative posts as i stated before i do not have health anixety but i do have other MH diffcuilities looking at other posts this isnt what i expected. During this diffcuilt time it was probably wrong to post. Thank you to all the supportive posts though much apprectiated

Oh God, don’t wait. If it’s lymphoma it needs urgent treatment. Go to A&E. Today. Say pain is unbearable. Come on.

WHAT?!

Try to stay strong OP. It's v hard waiting for test results.

Yes, lymphoma needs excluding, but it’s extremely unlikely that he has it.
This ^^ The doctor has to exclude the worst stuff just in case, but that doesn't mean for a second that they think that's what the problem is. It's how they work it what you do have most of the time; by ruling x, y and z out, you leave w and so therefore you're diagnosed with w.

Oh God, don’t wait. If it’s lymphoma it needs urgent treatment. Go to A&E. Today. Say pain is unbearable. Come on

A&E isn't a fast track service. It's what is says on the tin - accident and emergency. This is neither

user1495362060

Oh God, don’t wait. If it’s lymphoma it needs urgent treatment. Go to A&E. Today. Say pain is unbearable. Come on.

Drama Llama alert!

Another lymphoma survivor here. Reassure your son that he is going on the right pathway to figure out what he has and how to treat it. It could be glandular fever, it could be lymphoma, both of which are treatable. Let him talk and just listen. Name the emotion underneath- “that sounds Like you’re scared- which is normal” etc. He is young and otherwise fit and healthy so the odds are in his favour and you and he will cope with whatever comes next.
Call the ultrasound dept and register for any cancellations which are likely at this time of year...
I had my lymphoma back over 13 years ago now- and here I am two kids later etc. So please don’t be terrified as your son needs you to be strong. You’ve got this.

Re blood tests for glandular fever, I remember when I suspected my daughter might have it, I was told there was quite a specific window when it showed up on blood tests. Before and after, you might still have it, but it wouldn't register. This might have changed, but just thought I'd mention it.

I would say your level of anxiety is perfectly normal given the circumstances.
I don't think anyone would be laid back about this.
Lymphoma is the least likely diagnosis.
If it IS Lymphoma it is curable with one of the highest success rates.

I think you need to keep both of those things in mind.
You have to get through the next couple of weeks and that will be hard if your anxiety runs away with you.
Find some way of distracting yourself. Keep very, very busy.
Of course you must take him to A&E if he gets worse and the pain is unbearable. I don't know why anyone would object to that.

I think his ultrasound will be quicker than two weeks so hopefully you wont have to endure the full wait.

I am sorry you are having to cope with this.

Yes second you phoning the ultra sound department to see if they can squeeze you in any quicker. I did this recently when I needed an urgent ultra sound. I phoned up and was absolutely lovely to the woman and she squeezed me in two days later!

Sending you a hug OP. Waiting is the hardest bit. There are many things it could be, Dr just needs to rule out it isn't lymphoma at this stage.

Everyone symptoms are different, but my MIL had lymphoma in neck and lungs, it was picked up as she was feeling and being sick, lost weight very quickly and looked ill.

If it makes you feel better every single person I know who’s had Lyphoma has had it partly diagnosed via a blood test first (and had scans later). It’s probably something else, but due to his age and Lymphoma being so dangerous it needs to be excluded first. Remember that you are his mum, you need to keep it together for him.

Oh you poor thing.... and your poor DS . Firstly big breath and dont panic. My son has on several occasions been through the system checking for "suspicious symptoms". Last was a year and a half ago when he was in a lot of pain in his back. Both the GP and I could feel lumps on his spine and we ended up in A&E one Friday for bloods and xrays and back the following Monday for urgent MRIs. I was utterly terrified. I knew they were worried to and they were checking for cancer. I literally felt like I couldnt breathe and spent days crying / feeling like I could cry. And do you know what .... it wa nothing. Literally nothing. We now realise he was about to grow about a foot in a year and his shoulders got wider so I think it was related to that.

But my point is, no matter what your symptom, as far as I can tell they start at the top of the tree / worst case scenario, and work their way back down. If any child presents with worrying symptoms they ahve to rule cancer out first. It doesnt mean your son has it / or doesnt have it. Nor does it mean more likely or less likely - its just protocol. Try to remember no matter how worried either of you are one of only 2 things will happen:

1. They will find something - which will hopefully have been caught in a timely matter and they will deal with it.

or 2. Nothing will be wrong and he will have had a jolly good MOT and you will both know his health is fine.

Either way the drs and hospital staff are here to help you. I know its hard, but your his mum and hes scared. Try as hard as you can to put on a brave face as he really needs you to do that. Best of luck.

I know it is very hard but you have to try and compartmentalise/deny the situation. Make sure you get your appointments on time but beyond that you do literally have to try and force yourself to see it as the precautionary check it is. Tell your DS that there are many times in life we have to wait for results and years of panic could have been endured by people who were actually fine! Tell him you cross any bridges when you come to then and not before.

I know you are thinking 'what if....?'. There is no answer to that and it may not be a question you will ever need to answer. Just anecdotally I know one person who was diagnosed with lymphoma as a young man, he was treated for a few months and he is absolutely fine now, in his forties and just welcomed his third child. So you may not have to face the illness and even if you do, it may all be ok. You have to focus now on both of you being calm.

Occasionally your worries will surface and you will think 'how am I staying calm?', let that pass and compartmentalise/deny again. It works, it is a survival skill.

Ps I know it is all easier said than done OP. However you end up feeling these next weeks, I hope you get good news soon xx

Oh OP that is rough. My husband is in remission from lymphoma. I remember the waiting for diagnosis as being awful, and it took about two months from first GP visit to starting chemo. I really hope it isn't the worst news for him, but you can't do anything at this stage other than stay as calm as you can and get through each day. Fingers crossed for you. NIce hot bubble baths are calming, watch something good on the telly. This will pass x

user1495362060, do tell us precisely what you think A&E will do over and above what has been done already?

A&E will do an ultrasound, ceto. He will be hospitalized if warranted, the same day. That’s what the word emergency stands for. Suspected cancer in a child is an emergency.