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Children's health

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Original poster

Guilt over DD's illness.

33 replies

PlumFairy2014 · 11/07/2017 16:05

My DD is 2 and a half. She had a cold over the weekend, but was totally fine in the day and just a bit sniffly at night.
We ended up in an ambulance and in hospital overnight yesterday. It was a viral wheeze and she needed inhalers, oxygen and steroids.
We are home now and she is much better, napping right now.
I just can't shake the enormous feeling of guilt. Why would a cold go to her chest and make her so poorly? Did I do something wrong? I'm going over her diet, routine and everything in my head. I just feel awfully guilty, even though everyone says it's one of those things.
I'm still in my clothes from yesterday morning as I just don't want to leave her for even a minute. I should sleep after being in hospital over night, but I keep imagining her having the same breathing episode while she naps.
She was in NICU after she was born and it was the same hospital. The same consultant was in the paediatric ward last night as when she was born. I feel the panic I felt when she was born and I just couldn't do anything to make her better. It took months to be able to leave her with anyone, she was 9 months before I left her with DH for a couple of hours and the same anxiety has come back.
She's my world and I'm so scared.

OP posts:
furryelephant · 11/07/2017 16:24

Your poor DD getting poorly is honestly through no cause of your own. Children are small and have less of an immune system than us, are structurally smaller so have less ability to fight infections in their airways, and all sorts of things. As their airways are smaller, they find it harder to cope with any inflammation than an adult would so just need a bit more help to get themselves better again Smile
I'm a children's nurse and have seen dozens and dozens of children with viral induced wheeze. It's terrifying because they seem so poorly, but as I'm sure you've seen with your DD, they bounce back so incredibly quickly!
Being a parent is the scariest thing in the world feeling helpless when your child is ill, but you do need to look after yourself and make sure you rest too now that your DD is on the mend Flowers

whatithink · 11/07/2017 16:35

My son was exactly the same and after this happening a couple of times he was subsequently diagnosed with asthma. It is the viral wheeze type though - it only happens when he gets a cold.

You did nothing wrong, it is amazing how quickly they can go down hill but also (certainly in my son's case) can recover very quickly once given steroids.

Eventually I was given steroids to keep at home for emergency use to avoid having to go to A&E as it always seemed to happen when the GP was closed.

Original poster
PlumFairy2014 · 12/07/2017 09:05

Thank you for your replies. It shouldn't, but it makes me feel better she isn't the only one.
I feel a bit better after sleep. Luckily little one doesn't seem to remember but we had to make her take the inhaler during the night again. One she slept through though, which was a blessing.
A shower and some food has really made me a bit less crazy feeling today.

OP posts:
Original poster
PlumFairy2014 · 12/07/2017 09:06

Thank you so much for replying though, I felt like I was very alone.

OP posts:
Ames33 · 12/07/2017 23:47

My son had this on and off for
about a year from age 2, every time he had a cold.
He wasn't ever diagnosed with asthma as they said he was too young.
It's bloody scary, we were admitted to hospital 5 times with it, but he always bounced back quickly after the steroids.
We were given a brown inhaler to take 2 puffs every morning and night and a blue inhaler to use as soon as he showed signs of a cold. Touch wood, we haven't had an admission for well over a year, and we stopped the inhalers about 4 months ago.
If you
I know how horrible you must feel, and scared.
And it is in no way your fault!! Xx

Original poster
PlumFairy2014 · 13/07/2017 08:50

So he grew out of it Ames?
I'm panicking as we live right next to a busy road and that's now worrying me.

OP posts:
Ames33 · 13/07/2017 10:50

Looks like it. He has had plenty of colds and sniffles since but not even a hint of a wheeze.
Try not to worry about the road, some kids just get viral wheezes because when their full of cold their little bodies are not yet big enough to deal with the inflammation and excess mucus. If you ever want to have a chat about it, feel free to send me a message. Xx

Ames33 · 13/07/2017 10:51

Also, if your really worried go and see the GP and they should be able to put your mind at ease. Xx

Original poster
PlumFairy2014 · 13/07/2017 12:47

I have called the surgery she went to the other day and will go see the same Dr in the morning to check her chest etc.
It's really kicked my anxiety back into action. I'm dreading going back to work and leaving her.

OP posts:
Ames33 · 13/07/2017 17:53

The doc should be able to reduce your anxiety. She will be ok, they bounce back quickly, and if you are still worried then stay off with her.
My DS was always fine in between episodes, no wheeze or anything, it literally only happened when he got a cold. Xx

Ames33 · 14/07/2017 15:20

What did the doc say?

Original poster
PlumFairy2014 · 14/07/2017 16:49

She was very nice, but said at this stage they really couldn't say and it was likely, as it came on for the first time with a cold, that it would come on with a cold again.
We had another bad night, back to salbutamol every 4 hours. She said our inhaler use was fine, to go back a step on the plan and start the weaning down again really.
She talked me through options over the weekend if she gets worse and said to call Mon if required.
We have just moved and this surgery are amazing compared to our last one, they said they would see her the next day when she first got ill and this one accepted her straight away. I am relieved DD has a permanent Dr in the local surgery who knows her if nothing else!

OP posts:
Original poster
PlumFairy2014 · 14/07/2017 16:50

Thanks for your posts Ames, it has been a scary week.

OP posts:
Ames33 · 14/07/2017 18:12

I bet it has. I can't remember, did she have the steroids?
The doc sounds great, and you know what to do and where to go if she gets bad again.
Keep me updated, I hope she is feeling better soon. Xx

Original poster
PlumFairy2014 · 14/07/2017 21:59

She had 3 days of steroids. I tried so hard to get her to have the full dose, but it was so vile tasting (dissolvable tablets) that she kept coughing it back up.
This evening was much better. Long bedtime as her routine has been none existent, but she is asleep in her bed! She seems to dip late afternoon and need an extra power nap and the inhaler.
Did you find you became prepared for this when your DS? Something you just got used to doing/needing?

OP posts:
Original poster
PlumFairy2014 · 14/07/2017 22:00

Thank goodness for the wise Mums of mumsnet. Flowers

OP posts:
Blossomdeary · 14/07/2017 22:05

Oh please don't feel bad - children get very ill very quickly and then get very well again very quickly. And they do both with no warning. It is just how it is and has nothing to do with your parenting. I do hope that she will be well again soon.

Not your fault!! Repeat after me...."It is not my fault!!!!"

catcatcatcat · 14/07/2017 22:06

Hi,

Google viral induced wheeze. My nearly 7yo DD has had it once or twice a year since 2yo. My youngest has unfortunately had it a few times since she was 1yo.

They grow out of it. It's not your fault. You also learn to recognise the signs of them going downhill.

Don't worry about ringing 111 or 999 either, sometimes they get bad so fast an inhaler or steroids at home won't cut it. Don't blame yourself at all though, it's not you! Poor children.

Sittinginthesun · 14/07/2017 22:10
Flowers

My ds2 is asthmatic, diagnosed at 3 years, but generally quite mild.

Then, last autumn, he had a slight cold. Nothing major, I sent him to school, then 30 mins later had a phone call saying he'd been sick. By the time I picked him up, I could hear his chest was thick and wheezy.

Luckily, we avoided hospital. GP happy that we could manage at home, but he had a week of oral steroids, and I spent two nights with him, not sleeping, and using his inhaler every four hours.

He's 10 years old, I know what to do with his asthma, but it still frightened the life out of me.

He bounced back absolutely fine, but it is so scary at the time.

Hope the steroids do their job, and you both get some sleep.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 14/07/2017 22:13

One of my Godsons had a similar thing. We were just given signs to look out for & told to take him in if the inhalers didn't work in x amount of time. He had lots of inhaler use & quite a few visits to the hospital, but he's 8 now and rarely uses an inhaler and has only been in once in the past 18 months & that was last winter when everyone was down with something or another. Hopefully your DD will grow out of it too.

Original poster
PlumFairy2014 · 15/07/2017 09:31

'It is not my fault!'

Thanks everyone.

DD is much better today, we've moved on a day in the plan and some far it has been enough.

The Dr didn't mention, but could I give the salbutamol and spacer to her nursery should she ever suddenly get this with a cold again? The nursery manager was a nurse, so has a good understanding and I would explain it's only for emergencies once she is better. I'm not sure if this is reaponaible? Just her symptoms were like a cold and she does go to nursery with sniffles sometimes (not with temperature or bad colds of course) and I'm panicking it could suddenly happen again.

OP posts:
SlowRiver · 15/07/2017 09:41

Definitely a good plan to give inhaler and spacer to Nursery, but ONLY if you have a spare set for home. Believe me, the worry about not having the right stuff in the right place (going forwards and backwards to Nursery each day) is a nightmare! Order another set from the docs if needed.
We have several sets - home, school, car, my handbag ...

Sadly it is probable that dd will have another viral wheeze episode before too long again, but as a parent it does get easier to deal with.

SlowRiver · 15/07/2017 09:43

It is likely it will be grown out of, but that might take a long time. 10 year old here, and still an occasional (severe) issue but certainly improved.

Breezybreeze · 15/07/2017 09:46

Its not your fault. This awful stuff happens occasionally.

This would have happened whatever you had done.

DottyGiraffe · 15/07/2017 10:56

Yes absolutely RE nursery. But as has been suggested, ask for another set to leave there (and keep a note of the inhaler expiry date - it will be a long while ahead but, if not used much as hopefully it wouldn't be, it's easy to forget and they won't be allowed to give an out of date one). There shouldn't be a problem them prescribing another set for nursery.