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Original poster

Pics attached: is this normal?

111 replies

user1482334903 · 31/05/2017 14:07

Hi,

I am very worried about this so please bear with me.

I have noticed that my daughter (3.5) has a slight ridge/groove on the left hand side of her forehead. Looking back at old photos of her, it is evident that this has always been there.

However, for the last couple of months, I have noticed a fleshy lump when she raises her eyebrows or in certain bright lights. You can see this on the picture I have attached.

Anyway, I have seen the doctor about this A few times and she has said she said this is 100 percent just the countering of her forehead and that it's completely normal - she just has an asymmetrical forehead which is also normal.

But very time I see it I feel sick to my stomach with worry. I should point out that I trust my gp and she knows how much I worry. But in the photos of my daughter her as a baby, the lump doesn't look as prominent and I didn't even notice it as a baby.

My daughter has always had a fringe and only recently I've started to pin it back but I can notice it in certain lights or if she pulls certain faces. In the pic attached she is pulling a face, in the second pic, she is not.

Looking for reassurance.

OP posts:
pigyoinkoinks · 31/05/2017 22:43

OP my point is you don't need to mention your anxieties or problems, kids often pick things up... you took numerous photos of her forehead. So she will think there is something wrong with that part of her body.

You don't have to tell someone you have a problem for them to know about it.

The earliest memory I have of my mother picking 'issues' with me was when I was about 6!
Like I said, I never told her because I knew she was so mentally fragile and I didn't want to upset her.

Original poster
user1482334903 · 31/05/2017 22:47

The way my surgery works is that you speak to the doctor on the phone first about the problem to establish whether it warrants a visit. So the doctor already knew the problem before we went in

OP posts:
Smitff · 31/05/2017 22:51

Sorry haven't RTFT, just wanted to say I have had a ridge in my forehead all my life. It's like plate tectonics! It goes right from half way up my crown to above my eyebrow. Looks like I've had surgery to my skull. It's totally fine, just the way I'm built. Please don't worry about your DD. She probably was born with a groove in her skull like I was.

Original poster
user1482334903 · 31/05/2017 22:51

People take photos of their children's ailments and post them on here for advice. That was the first time I had taken any photos.

I appreciate all your advice. Thank you x

OP posts:
SomeOtherFuckers · 31/05/2017 22:53

You're going to make her really self conscious about her forehead ...

Wolfiefan · 31/05/2017 22:56

It's not an ailment. If my child has a possible chicken pox spot then that's really different to taking lots of photos of a part of their body that has nothing wrong with it.
So you never mentioned why you were at the doctors the whole time you were there.
I don't believe that for a moment.
Stop justifying the illogical and daft! Get help for your own issues.

RedDahlia · 31/05/2017 23:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ecureuil · 01/06/2017 06:32

So you walked in, the dr looked at her forehead without touching it/lifting her hair up and said 'it's fine' and you left?

Original poster
user1482334903 · 01/06/2017 07:43

No I lifted her hair up and the doctor felt it but we didn't mention my concerns as I had already told her over the phone. I've seen the doctor twice about it - I think there are lots of mothers who have taken their child to the doctor on more than one occasion about the same thing.

I am very aware not to pass on any anxiety to my daughter.

Thank you all for your advice

OP posts:
Ekphrasis · 01/06/2017 08:12

Op does it help if I say that most faces are asymmetrical? Or rather the skull is and it's the skull that determines facial features. I have a set of the very back wisdom teeth that never grew on one side, so my whole cheek bone is shorter on one side. So the muscles on the longer side are just bigger.

To me it looks like the way that particular bit of muscle on her forehead is sitting and the way it moves around - a bit like a dimple in reverse, some have dimples both sides; some only on one side. I teach primary age and have noticed those bumps frequently on many children, often asymmetrically. Often they can raise one eyebrow but not the other.

I understand the worry; my son had an odd lump on his tummy from birth. It's still there. Both dh and I worried about it. It's a fatty lump under the skin. But it's never changed size and the gp wasn't concerned.

Health anxiety is really tough as on the one hand it's reasonable to ask a question about something odd, in the other hand if the worry doesn't go it gets out of hand. Worry makes danger feels real and is there for a purpose - to make us keep people safe. I thought I had health anxiety but I don't, I have a few chronic illnesses that get hard to manage and I have to seek help. It got a bit obsessive as I had had to cross check things and persevere with the gp to get things sorted out. The same worry drove it - though my life was extremely difficult - but it's purposeful and went when I got sorted out.

Understanding my conditions helps me - so understanding that the muscles of the face are a bit chaotic and cause dimples and bumps could help you? Lumps are only ever an issue if they appear and change.

3luckystars · 01/06/2017 08:35

Can you ask for a second opinion?

Original poster
user1482334903 · 01/06/2017 09:29

Thanks very much for your post; that does help me to feel better. I can definitely notice the lump
More now than I can on baby photos which is why I am concerned. I have an appt for myself with the gp this morning at 11.30. I will show her the difference in photos and hopefully she will reassure me. If she still says it's perfectly normal, then I will put this to bed

OP posts:
Original poster
user1482334903 · 01/06/2017 09:31

I hope your sons lump is nothing to worry about and I am glad you are understanding your condition. I have also has health problems to contend with over the years which doesn't help xxx

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 01/06/2017 09:35

user please don't downplay how much the anxiety has been affecting you. It's not your daughter's entirely normal forehead that needs discussing during the gp appointment. You say you will put this to bed when the gp says the photos are fine but how many times before have you been told there's nothing wrong? You need help to deal with the anxiety. Flowers

Original poster
user1482334903 · 01/06/2017 09:40

I'm not downplaying the anxiety - I am extremely worried about it. I can clearly see the lump more in photos and videos now compared to older photos and videos. If the lump appeared to be the same then I wouldn't be as worried.

Hopefully the gp will confirm it is normal in relation to her growth etc and then I will have to put this to bed. The anxiety is something the gp is aware of anyway. Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
user1482334903 · 01/06/2017 09:42

And I am only showing the gp the photos as she hasn't seen the change in the lump. She has only seen it as it is now. I think that is fair to ask her opinion being as it looks a lot bigger than before. I have videos of her in the bath where you can clearly see a fatty lump. In old videos you can barely make it out. That's the reason for me wanting the gp to look. And I am not taking my daughter with me.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 01/06/2017 09:45

This is the way that health anxiety works. There will always be something that means its not fine or needs seeing by the doctor.

What help have you had before? Would you be open to CBT or similar?

Wolfiefan · 01/06/2017 10:36

You are completely downplaying the anxiety. Do go back to the GP. But seek treatment for the actual issue. The health anxiety. Not the thing you have already been reassured about multiple times.
You won't be able to "put this to bed" until you get the anxiety itself treated. You get this is all a symptom of MH issues? There is nothing wrong with your child.

Original poster
user1482334903 · 01/06/2017 10:45

I understand that I have anxiety but I can also see a lump on my daughter's head that wasnt as big as before. I think that most people in this situation would show the doctor the comparison - even after they have said it is ok. Just to double check. If the gp says this is still ok today, then my anxiety over this will go away.

I recognise that I do have health anxiety, but I also believe that things should still be checked out a few times if they are changing.

I mentioned my anxiety to the doctor the last time and she and I both believe that I am doing well and that I am not overly anxious in general.

Can't believe how big this thread hasn't become! I didn't expect this - just wanted to know what others thought. Thanks though. Nice to be able to talk it through

OP posts:
LapinR0se · 01/06/2017 10:49

Let us know what the GP says.

Original poster
user1482334903 · 01/06/2017 10:52

Will do

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 01/06/2017 11:04

It won't go away. It really won't. You have called and spoken to the doctor (I think you said) a total of three times. What makes you think a fourth will be any different?
You are overly anxious.

Original poster
user1482334903 · 01/06/2017 11:17

Because the doctor hasn't seen the photos of how it used to look compared to now. And I have always believed that any change should be addressed.

It's only when I have looked back at photos that I can see how different it looks now. That's why I am at the GPs this morning, not to go over the same thing as before. Xx

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 01/06/2017 11:19

But then you will think you see a change in a week or two and go back. You've had reassurance. This is your anxiety. Get that addressed before it really affects your kid.

AirBiscuitEater · 01/06/2017 11:32

Ffs wolfie pipe down! Dear me.