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My beautiful Joseph with his blue eyes, ready smile and arms always open for a hug or a tickle fight

999 replies

Trazzletoes · 14/04/2013 08:13

He has survived the most horrific cancer treatment with his smile, joy and love intact. Unfortunately the neuroblastoma has survived too.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ClockWatchingLady · 21/04/2013 15:59

Another delurker, wanting to say that I'm thinking of you all often. I'm so very sorry for what you're going through.

For what it's worth, I also wanted to agree with others that there are no wrong choices you can make from your position of love in this situation.

X

Hassled · 21/04/2013 16:02

I just begin to imagine what you're going through, and offering just plain sympathy seems like a platitude - but I am so sorry, and you're in my thoughts.

Hooleywhipper · 21/04/2013 16:03

Trazzels you can't do or get anything wrong, Joe is surrounded with deep true love. He feels that I'm positive. Hugs & much love to u all

tholeon · 21/04/2013 18:26

You are having to bear the unbearable, I am so sorry. If Joe dies, if he suffers - and I hope very much he does not - it will not be because of any choice you make. It will be because of bastard cancer. He is a little child and little children live in the moment. I hope he has lots of joy filled moments, I know they will all be filled with love.

lougle · 21/04/2013 19:30

Trazzle, as I've read the last few posts, starting with yours, I was reminded of when, as a girl, I read the 'Choose your own adventure' books. I don't know if you read them also, but you read each chapter, then at the end of the chapter you had to make a choice as to your next action. They used to say 'If you decide to explore the cave, turn to page 25. If you decide to continue along the path, turn to page 14...'

One time, I was reading the story, and it seemed that every decision I made led to 'Bad luck, you hurtle off the cliff and meet your grizzly end.' I tried about 4 or 5 times, making different decisions at each chapter, until finally I got the 'you escape!' message.

Once I realised that there were many more losses than wins, the books were sort of ruined for me. It was like I'd seen them with adult eyes. The suspense was gone and there was a kind of inevitability in the losses, and only a glimmer of hope for a win.

Your choices aren't real choices. If you could choose, you'd have Joe without the cancer, growing up to be a healthy, vibrant young man with the world at his feet. You aren't choosing, are you? You're making a judgement about the least worse option.

Honestly, I think I'd be more worried if you had got your head around the latest set of results Sad

TheOldestCat · 21/04/2013 19:38

Lougle puts it so so well.

Thinking of you and Joe. You are doing the best for him, you know, whatever you choose.

sleepythegiraffe · 21/04/2013 21:25

What Lougle said. I have nothing useful to add but just know that you are in my thoughts. X x x

nothruroad · 21/04/2013 21:29

Thinking of you all today. Much love x

Whorulestheroost · 21/04/2013 21:39

God Trazzle I'm just so sorry. Sorry for Joe and sorry for you. No parent should have to watch their child suffer and no child should have to suffer. I cannot begin to imagine the path you are facing but you are in my thoughts Sad

narmada · 21/04/2013 21:44

Have been thinking about you a family this weekend. What an awful decision you have to take, I hope you can find your way through this.

Hope you did some nice things this weekend.

If you feel like it, let us know if there is one particular place to give Disney funds to. I know where to give the blood to (!) but not sure about the money...

Howstricks · 21/04/2013 21:46

Well put Lougle, and i agree Tholeon, small children do live in the moment. I can't even begin to know how you all feel, I do send you my love.

NorthernLurker · 21/04/2013 21:53

I heard one of the doctors I work with talking to a patient once. The patient wanted to know what would happen to them because they wanted to make some plans. The doctor (who is btw one of the very best there is) said he couldn't tell him. He could tell him what had happened to 100 people like him but nobody could ever tell him what would happen to him. He said therefore that the patient should make his plans according to what he wanted to accomplish and not what he thought would happen to him.
Make plans for Joseph Trazzles. Not the plans you wanted to make. Not the plans you should be able to have for your son but nevertheless make plans and make the choices that permits those plans.

GibberTheMonkey · 21/04/2013 22:07

I have no wise words
But I just wanted to say I'm so sorry and that I'm thinking of you, your wee boy and your family and friends.

Portofino · 21/04/2013 22:13

I love what Northen Lurker said. Make your plans with Joseph, and if there is ANYTHING at all I can do to help with those, then I will. Much love xx

MrsFrederickWentworth · 21/04/2013 23:13

All I can do is send love and prayers. But you and yours are in them.

Manchesterhistorygirl · 21/04/2013 23:21

Sending you my love. I really don't know what else to say to you my love, just that you and Joe are in my thoughts.

ToffeeWhirl · 21/04/2013 23:41

So many people have said such wise things. I'm afraid all I can say is that I am truly sorry that things have turned out this way and that I know we will all continue to be with you every step of the way.

superfluouscurves · 22/04/2013 09:23

You shouldn't be going through this. It's so unfair. Thinking of you lots and sending (inadequate I know) love and prayers xxx

mummylin2495 · 22/04/2013 11:13

Thinking of little Joe and all of your family x

ajandjjmum · 22/04/2013 12:43

Wish there was a magic wand.... xx

TeaMakesItAllPossible · 22/04/2013 13:03

It must be really hard when you see a day by day improvement, and with him getting stronger and starting to move around under his own steam, to believe what the doctors say. I know it's something I would struggle with.

And of course, as the wise people have already said, your choice would be none of these options but a different path for your lovely Joe. Northern's advice is very poignant and perhaps could provide you with a different way of approaching the options in front of you because there is no way of knowing definitively what they mean for Joe.

I hope that you are able to find RL support, perhaps professionals or people going through a similar awful experience or a bloody lovely friend or acquaintance, to help you process your feelings. Daily your life is changing in a way that you hadn't anticipated and planned for and as a result you will probably be feeling numb one minute and then adrift in a sea of emotion the next.

drjohnsonscat · 22/04/2013 15:27

My mind is struggling with the impossibility of this so I can hardly imagine how you must be dealing with this. It is just impossible. I'm so sorry you are facing this unthinkable situation. Love and strength to you all.

Kalypso · 22/04/2013 16:15

Dear Trazzles, all my love and thoughts are with you. I hope Joe is happy being at home feeling the love of his family all around him, comforting and cradling him.

BarmeeMarmee · 22/04/2013 18:10

Trazzles, thinking of you as usual, and sending you love and positivity and prayers. Hoping Joe is having a good day today.

LizzieVereker · 22/04/2013 19:44

Hello Trazzle, just to say myself and 8 colleagues have signed up to give blood this week for Joe and to support you. They are not MNs but have started to ask after Joe every day.

We are all thinking of you and sending you love and prayers. Hope Joe is having a good day today.