Trazzle, as I've read the last few posts, starting with yours, I was reminded of when, as a girl, I read the 'Choose your own adventure' books. I don't know if you read them also, but you read each chapter, then at the end of the chapter you had to make a choice as to your next action. They used to say 'If you decide to explore the cave, turn to page 25. If you decide to continue along the path, turn to page 14...'
One time, I was reading the story, and it seemed that every decision I made led to 'Bad luck, you hurtle off the cliff and meet your grizzly end.' I tried about 4 or 5 times, making different decisions at each chapter, until finally I got the 'you escape!' message.
Once I realised that there were many more losses than wins, the books were sort of ruined for me. It was like I'd seen them with adult eyes. The suspense was gone and there was a kind of inevitability in the losses, and only a glimmer of hope for a win.
Your choices aren't real choices. If you could choose, you'd have Joe without the cancer, growing up to be a healthy, vibrant young man with the world at his feet. You aren't choosing, are you? You're making a judgement about the least worse option.
Honestly, I think I'd be more worried if you had got your head around the latest set of results 