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Children's health

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Original poster

I dropped her

52 replies

aimingtobeaperfectionist · 19/12/2012 15:57

Last night I was changing DD, turned around for a second (I know, I know ) and she fell off the changing table.
She landed on her back, cried instantly but settled in a few minutes. DP checked her over and we rang OOH. She fed well and I state in her room all night checking her.
She seems fine today, no bumps bruises or anything different but I'm just so mad and upset. I can not believe how utterly stupid I've been and how close I came to damaging her. I've not been able to do anything today as I'm too scared to leave her. I feel like I cant trust myself and I'm a complete failure.
What kind of mum does this?!
I've not been convinced I'm any good at this mothering job as it is and now Ive just confirmed it.
I'm not really sure where to go from here, I can't tell anyone else as it will just confirm to them I'm not up to the job. Just feel like I don't have anyone to talk to.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

aimingtobeaperfectionist · 19/12/2012 15:58

stayed not state

OP posts:

Northernexile · 19/12/2012 16:01

Please don't beat yourself up. My 9mo DD has gone off a bed and the couch in the last week. I'm on my own as DH is working away at the minute, and I was trying to do too many things at once. Your DD is ok, as is mine. Take it as a lesson learned and put it behind you. Be kind to yourself. I expect a very high percentage of parents have had something similar happen.

neolara · 19/12/2012 16:02

I think just about every parent in the world has had this experience. Your dd was fine. Really, really don't beat yourself up about it. Just wait till she's a bit older and learning to walk. She'll be covered in bruises for months.

TheDuckSaysMoo · 19/12/2012 16:03

You are not alone as most parents have some kind of accident story to tell. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Original poster

aimingtobeaperfectionist · 19/12/2012 16:05

I just can't stop thinking about it and have spent most of day crying. I know I need to get over it as I can't change it now but I don't really know how to?

OP posts:

BuntysFestiveCollocks · 19/12/2012 16:06

It's easily done, almost a right of passage. Ds has rolled off a bed, and off his changing mat onto tiles - he's fine, and a very healthy nearly 2 year old.

I believe the saying that babies bounce is actually true

Don't beat yourself up

anothercuppaplease · 19/12/2012 16:08

It will pass. just repeat to yourself that everything is ok.

DS fell off the bed when he was 18 months (I also turned around when changing his nappy) and broke his arm. It happens, and I am sure many of us will admit to having near misses. Including me doing a two hour journey in the car and realising when I got there that DSs carseat was not actually attached properly to the seat...

TreeDecoratingAndPresents · 19/12/2012 16:10

It must have been a horrible shock but please try to forgive yourself. I am usually a good mum and reasonably competent human being but i have dropped dd, chopped her finger with the nail clippers, left the scissors where she could reach them (no injuries, thankfully), stumbled against her and knocked her over, and dropped my telephone on her. Each time, I felt like the worst mother in the world and cried. She is totally fine and now all my friends have confessed to virtually the same things, I feel much better.

The only common one I never did was to leave her where she could roll off the bed. Almost everyone has done that.

If your dd is young, you are probably sleep deprived, which will make you be much harder on yourself and worry much more than you otherwise would.

PS If anyone asks, I haven't done any of the above but i have

VisualiseAHorse · 19/12/2012 16:15

Don't beat yourself up about it.

My 8 month old (then 5 months) fell and hit is head on the fireplace!! He ended up with a massive bruise across his forehead (looked like he had a monobrow...). I felt awful. We've all done it.

COCKadoodledooo · 19/12/2012 16:50

We moved here when ds1 was 22 months old. The ceilings here are considerably lower than they were in our old house. The day after we moved in I lifted ds1 high into the air, and thwacked his head so hard into the door frame
I cried more than he did. He has no recollection of it but I still remember 7years later!
Your dd is fine, stop beating yourself up.

SubsisteSermonemStatim · 19/12/2012 16:55

Sleep deprived i put DS1 on my tummy and nodded off...

....then i rolled over to get more comfy

He landed on the floor and cried - but not as much as i did - i think babies are made to take mild accidental bumps ... he is currently sitting opposite me doing his yr 7 homework on my laptop.

Original poster

aimingtobeaperfectionist · 19/12/2012 17:49

Thank you all for the reassurance.

OP posts:

lainey1234 · 19/12/2012 21:07

I dropped my newborn of less than 12 hours old. I was drugged up on morphine following a c-section. Nodded off with him in my arms, woke up to find him falling to the floor. It was horrific but we've both gotten over it (just about) he's perfect and was completely unharmed. The more people I tell the more I find we've all had these horrible accidents x

NotWankinginaWinterWonderland · 19/12/2012 21:09

What kind of Mum does this?

The same Mums who are warned their children will roll from a bed and still do it! I did this, not a bed a sofa and sure enough he rolled and fell off.

I know of a few Mums who have done the same!

PoppyWearer · 19/12/2012 21:19

In my NCT group we all dropped them or they rolled off the bed at some point - 10 babies. One ended up with a broken arm after a more serious fall involving stairs, rest were fine. It's a rite of passage, don't worry.

lougle · 19/12/2012 21:19

I managed to flip a triple buggy with DD3 in the top seat, face down onto the pavement, when she was 3 weeks old. I was traumatised, but she was absolutely fine.

InkleWinkle · 19/12/2012 22:03

what kind of mum does this
Emmm....any kind??

We should have a poll:
Rolls off bed
Falls of changers
Shut fingers in door
Clipped finger instead of nail
Head hit on edge of coffee table or similar
Drunk something not meant to be drunk
Anything else??

IMO not many parents could claim nothing has ever happened.

InkleWinkle · 19/12/2012 22:04

Falls OFF changers

BCBG · 19/12/2012 22:05

Er...I did, , in a maternity ward, when DD was three hours old... AND i had already had three children so should have known better because she rolled off the edge of my bed where I had balanced her while I shifted about a bit ... so yeah, join the club! We can all doo it, and lots of us have

AnyaKnowIt · 19/12/2012 22:08

I'm more shocked you made it to 9 months

DD was 6 weeks the first time I dropped her.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 19/12/2012 22:10

We didn't have a changing table for this reason. Didn't stop me letting DS roll of the bed though

user12785 · 19/12/2012 22:14

What kind of mum does this? Er, most of us! Please give yourself a break. My son once slithered out of my hands and hit his face on a swing when I was wearing gloves and he was wearing a shiny snowsuit.

TwoSillyHatsWithBellsOn · 19/12/2012 22:15

DS2 has fallen off the bed several times.
Ended up in the walk in centre after taking his first steps, he was toddling towards the sofa so I let him get on with it, he managed to fall face first into the hard bit at the bottom instead of the cushions at the top.
I discovered he could open the dishwasher when I left him in the kitchen for a second and returned to find him examining a sharp knife.
He managed to open a childproof (hah!) bottle of mouthwash and drink some at my Mum's.
I discovered he could unlock and open doors when I found him about to set off out the front door.

DS1 hadn't had any daft accidents at the same age. I think all parents make some mistakes, just some children demonstrate this by their ability to move the wrong way at the wrong time, others let you think it's your amazing parenting keeping them bump free.

Be kind to yourself, we all do these things.

JollyOldChristmas · 19/12/2012 22:16

Ds is 19mo. He's already had a black eye and THREE fat lips. Oh, and his fingernail turned black and fell off after getting trapped.

These things happen. I did feel particularly bad about the black eye though. He got anything he wanted that day as I couldn't bear to say no to him.

user12785 · 19/12/2012 22:17

Oh and by the way. Aiming for perfection is very stressful. Aim to be good enough and to enjoy your baby.

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