Holiday with chickenpox

[monkey117]

Hi, I'm wondering what everyone else would do in my situation as I am finding it so hard to make a decision. My family are due to go on holiday to Menorca next Monday. My 3 year old DD1 came down with chickenpox last Thursday so by Monday she will be on Day 12 since the rash started. We are currently on Day 7 and most of the spots seem to be scabbing over so I am hopeful that by next Monday she will no longer be contagious and safe to fly. I plan to go to the doctors this Friday to ask whether he can give us a 'safe to fly' letter just in case we experience any problems. However, I am assuming that it will be highly likely that DD2 (18 months old) has caught chickenpox from her sister and will currently be at the incubating stage. Therefore it is very likely that she will come out with the rash while we are on holiday, most likely during the first week of our 2 week holiday. I am finding it so difficult to make a decision as to whether we should try to cancel the holiday, however if my DD1 is no longer contagious and DD2 doesnt yet have chickenpox at the time of our flight then we may not get our holiday paid for by insurance if we cancel. But the thought of travelling abroad with my 18 month old highly likely to come out with chickenpox is also not very appealing! Any opinions would be greatly received as I am so stressed right now and dont know what to do for the best! Thank you.

"It?s rare to get chickenpox when you?re pregnant. In the UK, it?s estimated that about three in every 1,000 women (0.3%) catch chickenpox during pregnancy. Most pregnant women who get chickenpox recover, with no adverse effects on the baby."

I have copied this information from NHS Choices website...

Wow, lovechoc, you sound caring

I'm currently in hospital with my three year old son who has leukaemia and has also managed to get chicken pox, despite my best efforts to keep him away from risky situations. We have no idea how he got it, but it appears from reading this that people do take their contagious children out in public which I have to say is quite frightening.

Both my boys had chicken pox one after the other last year and we managed to stay at home the whole time without starving or any other such nonsense.

There is also a massive difference in taking out a child who has been in close contact with a sibling with chickenpox and a child who has been in the same nursery/school/whatever with chickenpox. Nobody needs to be a martyr about it, just be sensible and think of others.

Sorry about your own situation windywendy, hope your child is in good hands.

Unfortunately it is impossible to stay indoors (DH works 12hr shifts and so I cannot expect him to bring home food, he gets in late and also does nightshifts) I have to do most of the childcare on my own for several days at a time and have no family help close by to help out in such a situation so I have had to take mine out to the shops to buy bread and milk, nappies, etc whilst they've both been ill with chickenpox (probably contagious too). There are some situation you cannot avoid.

Sorry lovechoc but I think that's a cop out. Taking out an infectious child is never acceptable and your husband's shift pattern cannot ever be an excuse for infecting others. Wendy's son and others like him is not acceptable collateral damage. Not ever.

There is a massive difference between the severity of contagious diseases and of course there will be occasions where people unknowingly infect others but where there are risks they need to be managed. Sometimes we have to out ourselves out a little bit or even quite a bit for others because the consequences of not doing that could be much worse for someone else.

Are there no supermarkets who do home deliveries where you live lovechoc? Or neighbours who would be willing to get some things for you?

I know plenty of people who go round with children with clearly infectious chickenpox. I have seen them at school/swimming pool/gym/ballet/scouts etc. The same applies to whooping cough, I know people who were diagnosed with whooping cough and told to stay home and still went to work. Unfortunately people can be very selfish.

God I feel naive but I'm really shocked by that dikkertjedap!

Lovechoc, I'm fairly astounded at the dogmatic and arrogant way you seem to be expressing yourself.

Your point about 'most parents' needing to take their child to the GP when contagious is particularly daft.

Most GP surgeries will request that parents don't bring in a child with suspected chicken pox, or if they have to, will put them in a secluded area or separate room so as not to put other people at risk.

I think it is worth staying in for a few days to protect the interests and sometimes lives of those who are unable to control their exposure fully, when you are in fact able to do this as you know your child is contagious.

It is a few days. It's not desperate.

OP - I would struggle in your situation as well. I think to travel when the second child is unlikely to be contagious yet is acceptable, as long as you have contingency plans for their likely development of the illness while on holiday and if necessary, having to stay there longer.

Good luck.

Oh and I am on my own too - both of mine had it a few months ago. I had to use the car as a mobile containment device to get each to school separately, to do shopping without taking them into the shops and had I been truly stuck without a car I would have used online shopping and asked friends or neighbours to take them to school - or told the school I could not bring them for a few days. Or kept the child under a raincover in their buggy, and left them outside the playground (younger child) or left the older one at home alone.
It wasn't worth putting people at risk. It was hard work but worth doing.

Northernlurker - do you at least accept that there is a much higher chance that the OP's dd2 will get chicken pox, given her prolonged exposure to it, than the average child in the street?

"FWIW. I had to take one f my DC to the GP a couple of weeks ago with hat looked like very small chicken pox spots. The GP suggested I take her in after I called for advice on the rash. They just put us in the normal waiting room. My DC didn't have CP though we couldn't be sure for another few days, but there was another little boy in the waiting room who most definitely had full blown CP."

You'll find several parents who are not sure what the rash is, will end up making a GP appointment and will have to wait in a waiting room for all patients, fully exposed. It happens everywhere, I'm afraid!

I would not waste money using online food shopping services just for bread and milk! That's utterly ridiculous!

I cannot believe the amount of panic merchants on MN, tbh.

Carry on being astounded, flightty.

And dikkertjedap's comments are not a surprise. Many parents at nursery sent their DC into the nursery DS attends a few months ago when they were contagious. By that point, the damage is already done. You cannot undo it. It is like crying over spilt milk. I wasn't happy DS caught it but that's life, you just get on with it.

Oh well as long as you're alright lovechoc. That's what matters. Nevermind anybody else.

How revoltingly selfish you are.

other than Lvoechoc i think most on this thread have said they will stay in when their child has chickenpox, but when mine got it they didnt pass it to their siblings, they each caught it individually at different times! theoretically the others could have been incubating it, but once the child who HAD the chickenpox was no longer contagious we went out and about, and yes my other children COULD have been contagious, but as it was they didnt catch it from each other, are people saying i should have stayed in the 21 days that chickenpox can take to come out, after the child with the chickenpox was well, to then stay in 'just in case' one of my other children 'may' be infectious? sorry but lifes not like that, hwen my children are ill yes i stay in with them but if they MAY be harbouring something then no, if i knew for SURE they were infectious yes of course i will keep them in but otherwise no, i practically cant live like that, 5 kids of varying ages, school, pre-school, clubs, shopping etc life has to go on once the child that was ill is not contagious i am not still quarantining myself on the CHANCE that one of my others may be about to get ill. which is what people are saying the op should do, stay quarantined because her child may get chickenpox, yes they might but like mine, she might not. i would however let anyone i know that one of my children had been ill and that tho they others were fine there was a chance they may be contagious but i woudnt stay in.

Lovechoc - I read a story on here from a woman whose dd caught chicken pox and died for it - I doubt she'd say that it's like crying over spilt milk, that's life, get on with it.

PercyPickle I am just stating what happens out in the real world, not what should be the ideal....Ofcourse no one should be exposed to CP but it cannot always work that way.

Seems northernlurker and myself are in the minority on this thread, and I hope the OP will return to give us all an update on what she will end up doing.

5madthings you should have not left your house for at least one month according to the majority on this thread. Infact, if you waited for each child to catch it (in theory, each one should have) you could be talking a couple of month's not leaving your house with your children.

What utter c**p.

Thank goodness there is one other parent out there like myself, 5madthings. And STDG if you read the NHS Choices link I posted on this thread about CP related to pregnancy you'll find only a very tiny percentage are adversely affected by it. You weigh up the risks, it's all about common sense, using your noddle.

I'm not sure NL does agree with your posts lovechoc. She seems to be suggesting risk management like some of the rest of us. She happens to evaluate the risks slightly differently but I can't see anything that suggests she would ever take out a child she knew was contagious.

But she's quite capable of answering for herself so I won't presume to know what she thinks other than what she's posted.

Just because some people are selfish or, as i suspect is more likely, ignorant doesn't make it ok for those of us who know the risks to others to have an "I'm alright Jack" attitude.

I think you are nitpicking at my comments on this thread, PercyPickle. You picking out what I say and twisting the words to make it seem that I have an 'alright jack' attitude which is not the case.

as i said i would NOT go out whilst one of my children has the chickenpox but once the child with the chickenpox is no longer contagious i wont stay in because my other children may be about to get it/be contagious, so far the elder 3 have already had it, they each caught it seperately at different times and did not pass it onto each other, or onto ds4 or dd, who have both been exposed loads and not got it yet. it is about risk management i would go out with a non infectious child and yes one that may possibly be infectious but you cant know for sure, i would however tell people that we 'may' be contagious but that i cant know, i dont think i can do fairer than that.

From NorthernLurker:

"I don't understand why the OP must consider the unknown risk to unknonw person of travelling with her child of unknown infectious status "

I.e. no reason not to travel with the family if unsure if DD2 has the chickenpox.

I disagree. But as both our posts are available to read I'm sure everyone can make their own minds up.

I stayed in too when DS1 was at the contagious stage but I did need to leave the house to get medication for him, and food, when he was less contagious and Ds2 may have been contagious (but again I was not certain). You cannot be a prisoner in your own home!

Both my sisters had chicken pox and I was even put in the same bed as one of them and I still never caught it.

Years later as part of a medical I was screened and I am immune to chicken pox.

My Dh had it as a child, was covered in it and had it again as an adult and again was covered in them.

Both our children have had it but both incredibly mild cases, less than 20 spots so maybe this is my immunity helping it stay mild.

OP you need to look at the wording on your cancellation policy, you might not be able to cancel due to a "suspected" illness.