Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Children's health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

I know all is probably well but I am without proper reasoning

59 replies

travellingwilbury · 08/03/2012 16:29

My 5 yr old is poorly , he has a temp of 39 (underarm so that is 40 isn't it ?)
He has been kind of sick (no food in it just bile and watery stuff )
All he wants to do is sleep but keeps waking complaining of a sore stomach , throat and just now legs .

I am running a fine line between convincing myself it is just a bug and thinking he is actually properly ill . The reason for this is ten years ago I was told my 14mth old had a cold and possible slight chest infection and within hours he died .

How do I work this stuff out now ? I can feel the panic in me rising but I just don't know how to sail through this shit anymore .

Sorry for being all self indulgent and stuff but could do with a manly pat or some such reassurance .

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

travellingwilbury · 09/03/2012 15:03

I know you do MrsDV , it is shite isn't it ?

Thank you everyone for understanding , once you have lost the "all will be well" gene it is impossible to get it back .

Thankfully he has perked up this afternoon , has even managed to eat something so fingers crossed .

There was so much I could say to lougle but tbh I haven't got the strength or inclination to argue the toss about whether or not bereaved parents are clogging up A & E with children who shouldn't be there . The last place I ever want to be is a hospital with or without my child .

OP posts:

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 09/03/2012 15:13

Yes darling it is totally shite.
Never ever can we be laid back again. No matter how much we want to be.

Glad he is perking up.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 09/03/2012 15:19

When I worked in A&E the OOH service was referred to as 'Dangerous Doctors Service' (they were DDS then Deputizing Doctor's Service)

(sorry if that upsets TW but they had such a bad rep).

I have taken my children to A&E since DD died. I explain my extreme anxiety and have nearly always been treated with kindness and at least an attempt to understand.

They still triage. My slightly poorly child isnt going to go ahead of a very sick pensioner.

Like TW a hosptial is the place I would least like to be in the world (to the extent I had two home births since DD died) but when the terror over takes you at 1am it is very hard to supress.

curiousparent · 09/03/2012 16:10

Sorry for your loss too MrsDeVere :(

Lougle · 09/03/2012 18:45

"Convert Fri 09-Mar-12 11:41:07

Lougle are you this harsh in RL or just on here?"

I wasn't intending to sound harsh. As I said, the OP didn't link her experience specifically to the OOH service. In general there is a tendency on Mumsnet to shout "A&E now" when someone has to wait more than 10 minutes to see their normal doctor.

Convert · 09/03/2012 18:57

No but then the op did explain her feelings and the reason behind it and you just still couldn't quite let it go could you?
My baby had half a lung removed at 8 weeks after numerous trips to the doctors and I was told she had a cold then a stomach bug then reflux. Thankfully I was insistent there was something wrong with her and we arrived at the children's ward she was snatched off me. 3 hours after an emergency transfer she was operated on to have a cyst removed.If we hadn't got her there at that time she would have died.
I'm very lucky to have my baby still and op I'm so terribly sorry you weren't. I can't imagine how you feel but I think I can get an idea.
If I think there is anything wrong with one of my kids now I'm not saying I will just take them to a and e and I'm sure the op wouldn't but I will not be worrying about people like you having opinions on where my ill child should be seen. I will do whatever I decide is best.
OP sorry to be unpleasant on your thread, I just think until people really understand they should keep their opinions to themselves.

Original poster

travellingwilbury · 09/03/2012 20:02

Thanks convert , and wow that must have been a very scary time for you , I am really pleased all is well with your dd .

lougle whether it is linked to OOH or not doesn't really matter , anyone who has been told by a hcp that their child has a cold and is then arranging a funeral within a day is bound to be a bit twitchy when another one of their children is ill . It really is that simple and hopefully you can see that .

OP posts:

Lougle · 09/03/2012 20:09

Convert. A&E departments are over-run with people who can't be bothered to seek the appropriate attention for their complaint and think they'll get seen quicker if they go straight to the hospital.

A&E departments are often at crisis, having to wade through the swathes of people who come, determining which patients are in real need of their services and which could have been dealt with by their own GP or OOH.

I was a nurse (well, still am, technically) and have seen patients from all circumstances. I stand by my statement: "That's why it takes so long to get seen at A&E - people take themselves/their children to A&E as a matter of convenience instead of necessity."

Having said that, once the OP had gone on to say "the reason I don't deal well with OOH is it was an OOH dr who insisted I was over reacting and my son was fine , within hours he had died in my arms.", it gives a different picture.

If the OP is anxious due to her previous experience with OOH services, then any A&E department will be sympathetic, no matter how trivial the presenting condition, as they should be. Medical services are not just for the physical needs of patients, but the whole patient, including the parents of minors.

Don't presume you know my understanding of these sorts of issues.

Convert · 09/03/2012 20:34

Right but you had seen that that travelling had lost her child and you still felt this thread was the right place to air your views? That's my point.

Lougle · 09/03/2012 21:05

Yes, because travelling didn't say that she didn't want to go to OOH with her child because she was traumatised by a previous experience. She said that she was anxious about her child because of that, but in response to the suggestion that she might end up using the OOH, she simply said that she didn't do well with that malarky and would rather take a drive to A&E.

The whole point is that A&E is for Accidents and Emergencies not for 'avoiding the OOH malarky'.

Obviously, now that travelling clarified her reasons for distrusting the OOH service, it puts a different light on it. Rather than 'not doing well with that malarky' it's actually a case of 'I'm frightened that OOH would potentially miss a more serious problem and send me away with a child who will then die, like they did 10 years ago.'

Anyone can understand that this sort of fear will drive a person to use a service when they otherwise might not, just as a person who had lost a child in the past may take their child to the GP at the slightest symptom, rather than adopting the more usual 'wait and see' approach.

leftmysociallifeatthedoor · 09/03/2012 21:13

Lougle.

Give. It. Up. Seriously, youre being really bloody insensitive and cruel and patronising so just bloody stop. You know what? My dad had to wait 8 hours for an ambulance transfer from a+e the other day, it was because some eejits were wasting ambulances time on the day - those are the people you need to preach at, not bereaved parents.

Lougle · 09/03/2012 21:18

Didn't preach. I made a comment based on the information available. It's quite normal to do so.

mumofjust1 · 09/03/2012 21:29

Bit harsh Lougle.

Can I suggest you stop posting on this thread? You have made your thoughts clear.

Lougle · 09/03/2012 21:36

doinmummy · 09/03/2012 21:41

Lougle - how long ago were you nursing?

mumofjust1 · 09/03/2012 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

mumofjust1 · 09/03/2012 21:44

Op, I work for the NHS and I can assure you that if any mother in your situation came to us with a child they were concerned about, we would do everything we could to make sure your little one was ok, and that your mind was eased.

I can totally understand your concern and it's completely justified.

Glad your little one is ok

doinmummy · 09/03/2012 21:48

I would be very reluctant to take my child to an OOH doctor after one tried to 'manually evacuate' my DD when she was constipated. An A &E nurse went and told him that we do NOT do that to children in this country as it is cruel .

The A and E doctors at our hospital are great with worried parents of ill children, we have a seperate dept for children so they do not 'hold up' the treatment of others.

Go with your gut feeling - you can never be too careful with children.

I hope everyones little ones are better.

VickityBoo · 09/03/2012 21:58

I hope your son recovers from what is hopefully just a bug very soon.

For what it's worth, I completely and totally understand your concerns and would also be contemplating A&E over out of hours in your situation.

CervixWithASmile · 09/03/2012 22:06

Travelling, I would willingly wait behind you in the A&E queue x

hellygolightly · 09/03/2012 22:32

Glad to hear your son is feeling better, Travelling.

Sparklingbrook · 09/03/2012 22:44

This thread makes me sad.

I hope you had an ok day travelling.

Convert · 10/03/2012 08:33

Morning, just wondered how your little boy is now travelling?

Original poster

travellingwilbury · 10/03/2012 14:04

Thank you to everyone who has helped , he is a lot better today thankfully but now my 8 yr old has it . But because I have seen the younger one through it already I feel stronger about them both being ok .

sparkling it makes me sad too . I have never felt the need to explain my feelings of panic before or have them questioned but then most people just seem to get it . This is why I tend to only talk to other bereaved mums about stuff like this .

OP posts:

Northernlurker · 10/03/2012 14:15

TW - it seems that almost everybody on this thread (have just read the whole thing) 'got' how you might feel. Only one person seemed to struggle with that and then was crass enough to keep pushing their view in hugely inappropriate circumstances. Don't let that one person make you feel you can't ask mum type questions of other parents, bereaved and non-bereaved. I hope both your boys are bouncing around well soon. Your anxiety was absolutely reasonable and understandable.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread