Taking dd (6) to doctor about her bedwetting next week- anyone know what to expect?

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

Hi All,

I'm finally taking dd2 (6) to the doctor next week about her bedwetting. She has never had a dry night, and I have been fine with that, saying her body would do it when she is ready. We have tried going without her "special pants" but she always ends up asleep in a big cold puddle of wee

we've tried lifting her later on, and she went to the toilet fine, but she was still wet in the morning. She seems to produce a lot of urine at night, and she doesn't wake, even when she is wet through. I wondered about those alarm-thingy's, but I've heard they can be distressing to some children.

I was hoping she would just grow out of it- I know they start producing anti-diuretic hormone in larger amounts at night, and sometimes that doesn't happen until they are 7 or so, so I was ok to wait, but she is getting really down about it, and really really wants to not wear the special pants. A complicating factor is that I haven't dared starting to get her 3.11 yo brother dry at night yet, as I know it would demoralise her so much.

I didn't want to make it an issue for her, but it would seem it IS an issue for her, and she wants me to help her. So I've arranged a doctor's appointment with the nice smiley child-friendly female doctor in the practice, and was just wondering what I should expect from this appointment- would we be referred to a special clinic? Will we be told to leave it and come back when she is 7? Should I bring a urine sample (from dd, obviously!)

Any experiences you have (or any docs out there) would be greatly appreciated. She is really excited about this appointment, and I am trying not to get her hopes up too much- I realise it won't be a magic cure! I feel guilty that she is so eager. Maybe I should have done this ages ago, but I didn't want to make a big deal out it, and everyone told me it would just happen when she was ready. I feel like I have let her down a little.

TIA for any info you can share

My GP didn't do anything about my DD's bed wetting until she was 9, we saw a specialist who was not great. I really hope you have a positive experience!
6 is still very little don't worry I am sure she will be fine.

Dd1 is nearly 7 and still wears pull-ups. She is so keen to sleep without them and we have tried a few times but she never wakes up to go to the toilet in the night and consequently ends up with a very wet bed. Her best friend is also not dry at night (same age). Ds was 7 and 2 months when he finally made it thru the night. The gp wasnt at all bothered and said to come back when he was 9 if it was still a problem.

Just took dd who has just turned 7 and they referred her to the enuresis clinic which apparently do after the age of 6. That was 2 weeks ago and I just got a call this week to set up an appt. Will let you know what happens :)

That's great guys I wasn't sure if they would do anything (I thought for some reason the magic age was 7) but she wants me to do something! I've picked the doctor I think most likely to be sympathetic and helpful, so hopefully I won't just be brushed off completely as some of you seem to have been- dd would be gutted.

Angryfeet, I was kind of wondering if we would get referred to the enuresis clinic, but I've never heard of one locally (that doesn't mean anything, though) Do let me know how you get on!

I really want to get this right for her, as I don't want it to affect her.

Just to reassure you, my Dd is 8 and a half and a very heavy sleeper - is now dry most of the time unless she is very tired and/or drinks too close to going to bed, particularly fizzy drinks or hot chocolate. I thought we would never get there, (and we still have this last bit to do...) but I didn't go to the doctors as I didn't particularly want to go down the medicine route and all I read suggested that until your body produced enough of a certain chemical there wasn't a lot you could do. TBH it didn't worry her or me too much. I also have a couple of these that make bed changing less of an issue - I also take them when we go away. Interestingly she hasn't had a problem on sleepovers which suggests she is less relaxed than at home and sleeps less soundly so her body wakes her up as needed.

www.brollysheets.com/

Thanks for that, lucysmum- will definitely look into those sheets. it's nice to know we're not alone- it's something noone talks about in the playground.

I am torn about going down the medical route, tbh, but dd is so desperate to try to be dry that I feel I need to try to make sure I have explored all the possibilities for her.

DS wasn't dry at night until 7.5...and still had occasional wet beds until he was 11. I never sought help, but he is now totally dry at 12.

He has always been a heavy sleeper. We just used pull ups. On the plus side he was never into sleepovers, and only slept at understanding relatives houses without me.

6 is still very little in the big scheme of things.

When I took my DD (7) to the doctor about this, I spoke to the receptionist when I made the appointment, and asked if she could remain in reception whilst I spoke to the doctor.

The doctor (who tends to be abrupt) was lovely. He discussed options with me. He then asked me if I wanted him to speak to my DD. He called her in, told her very firmly that it was not her fault, and that she would get dry eventually. And I think she was pleased to hear it from a doctor rather than her mother.

One thing he did say to me was, don't use reward charts. This made sense to me (and I hadn't been using them anyway). I only add this because I've sometimes seen this given as a suggestion (probably made by people who've never had a bed-wetter).

It's reassuring to hear that there are many others out there in the same boat- thank you! I would be quite happy to continue with the pyjama pants, but dd hates them and is desperate to be rid. We have tried, but having to rouse her from a huge puddle of cold pee twice a night is horrible- I hate the thought of her lying in it, and she really doesn't wake, so pull-ups it is until it is just occasional accidents.

I don't use reward charts, and I do try to play it down- I have told her her body will eventually learn, but she wants to be like her big sister (and soon her little brother, which will upset her no end, but I don't know if I'm helping ds by holding him back so his sister doesn't feel bad)

I have deliberately made an appointment with the lovely doctor in the practice who has a great way with children (and has two young children herself), so I've tried to cover all the bases, but I am aware they may well just say "wait and see". As you say, dd might take it better from the doctor than from me.

Marking a place. Please come back and update. My DD is only 4.5 so we have time, but I'm interested in your experiences.

My dd's friend see a continence nurse

I think you are doing the right thing taking her because she wants to go. However, you are right, she will do it when she produces the right hormone to do it and not before then :( Hopefully just having the Dr tell her this will make her feel better about it - it must be awful for kids of that age to have to wear pull ups :(

As for DS, yes, I think you are doing him a disservice (I do understand why you are doing it though and you & DD have my sympathy), if he's producing the hormone to be dry at night, keeping him in nappies could make him learn to over ride the signals he needs to go at night and that's not fair on him as later on he will have to learn to wake up to go.

Thanks, ChippingIn. I know I need to let ds go without pullups soon. Hopefully seeing the doctor will make it better for dd2 and then she won't mind so much about ds coming out of pyjama pants. I'll update when I've been on Wednesday

Hopefully, your GP will refer you to your local nocturnal enuretic service. They can then assess her and develop a plan to support her.
This usually involves some bladder training (info re regular drinks and toilet trips) and then either medication or an alarm to use at night. She sounds really motivated and that will make a big difference. The [[
www.eric.org.uk/ ERIC]] website is excellent.
Good Luck

I am another one who has a now dry DD, but took til she was 7 and a half. Interestingly DS was just the same. Both brilliant during the day from 2.5, but always seemed to sleep so heavily that even lying in it didn't wake them. Spent a fortune on pull ups, which just didn't cope with the sheer volume of wee!

I resisted limiting drinks with DS, and he just 'got it' at about 7.8. With my DD, like the OP's DD, she was turning it into an issue, so we agreed she would drop the bedtime glass of milk, and that did the trick (or just coincidentally she got there at the same time). Now she gets herself up in the night, but has no recollection of it in the morning.

On the sleepover question, I always quietly mentioned it to the host's mum and was amazed how many times they said they had the same issue. Not sure if being kind, but maybe there is a lot more of it about than we think?

My ds is 8 and has been attending the enuresis clinic for around 18 months. Some of the ideas they have given us you are already doing such as trying to let dd sleep without pull ups as supposedly children take the wearing of protection as 'permission' to wee

They also stress the importance of drinking enough in the daytime - about 2.5 litres daily and making sure they only have sips of water 1.5 hours before bed. My ds tried the alarm but it scared him to death and he still wet. Thats not to say that they don't work for others though.

Also check through family history, it can be an inherited problem. Turns out dh's dad wet until he was married at 25

Ooh one other thing, they will want to know if she is wet at your bedtime. Apparently there are 2 different problems associated with bedwetting and it helps them to diagnose if they can get an idea if dc is wetting soon after going to bed pr just before waking in the morning.

There is lots of useful stuff on the Eric website. Can't remember the URL but google eric and it'll be there.

Don't want to be negative about this but my experience was that the doctors weren't at all interested until I told them that my dc was being bullied about it (true, she was). I would write a letter to the GP beforehand so she understands that you are very worried and want something positive done about it eg referral to eneuresis clinic.

I was a bedwetter op til I was about 6
I was taken to the dr who gave me a placebo (tabkets I think) told me they were guaranteed to work, and I stopped.

Obv if there had been a physical or medical reason for it the approach would have failed.

Worth a try?

Thank you so much for all the responses. philmassive- DH remembers hiding under his bed because it was wet and he knew his mum would be cross when he was about this age, so I'm "blaming" it on him!! Annoyingly, he is also the one who makes a bigger deal out of it, asking her if her special pants are dry in the morning- I have told him off, and told him I would have thought HE would have more sympathy!

Really appreciate people's experiences. crystalglasses that's rubbish that your doctor wasn't interested. I'm hoping dd will be able to explain to the doctor her worries and she (the doctor) will speak mostly to dd.

On the basis of what ChippingIn said earlier, I had a chat with her tonight while drying her hair about how she would feel if I started trying her little brother without special pants. She admitted that she would be a "little bit upset" Her big sis (7) was there too (she was dry o/n at 3.5) as was ds, so I was telling them that dd2 was the one who walked the earliest, while big sis sat on her fat bum until 15mths and they were all laughing, and asking what things they had done early/ late. I pointed out that they are all now walking fine/ speaking etc, and that it's just that some people's bodies do things at different rates. I think (hope) dd2 felt a bit better after that, and fingers crossed the doctor will reinforce this.

Hi JoolyJoolyJoo, I've C&Pd something I posted for someone a few years ago - in my previous job I was a school nurse running enuresis clinics so hope you might find this helpful

There are 3 main reasons whu children are late to be dry:

1. Lack of vasopressin (the hormone that calms your kidneys down at night and makes them produce less wee). If she wees large volumes of weak, low-odour urine often early in the night then she may have low vasopressin and benefit from Desmopressin, the synthetic form that can be given in tablet form as a melt that dissolves under the tongue. Your GP can prescribe this.

1. Lack of arousability. If she doesn't wake with a full bladder, or wake when she has wet, she may not have a strong bladder-brain link. To strengthen the link you need to go without pull-ups so the child feels wet and uncomfortable (pull-ups just keep them too dry and comfy!). An alarm can be helpful but should really be used after assessment by an enuresis service.

1. Bladder instability. This is often seen in children that also have problems with daytime wetting, and may be unable to hold much urine. They wee maybe 50 times a day and can't hold it very well. If this applies you ought to see a GP for referral for bladder scans etc. Medication such as oxybutynin can help.

All the above need to be assessed, and underpinning it should be bladder training - a child with a strong, toned bladder is less likely to wet at night as the bladder can hold a greater volume without emptying. Bladder training involves drinking loads (at least 6-8 decent sized drinks a day of about 250mls each time) and drinking more in the main part of the day, tapering off towards evening. Regular toileting ie every 2-3 hours helps to strengthen the bladder by giving it a workout, and preventing it becoming overstretched and twitchy.

If your DD is ready to try night 'training' (hate that word but can't think of a better one) then you're halfway there - a child (and parents) that are committed to training will do better than those where the parents are directing the promotion of dryness rather than the child!

Where there is a family history of enuresis the probability of the child being later to be dry is very much higher, so you can blame your DH a little bit

Reward charts shouldn't be used for dry nights as you are trying to reward something the child actually has very little control over. So reward for the behaviour rather than the outcome. A sticker for every drink finished, and if there are 6 stickers by bedtime then an extra story or something. A sticker for double voiding at bedtime (we used to promote toilet, teeth, toilet) and another sticker if she actually wakes and goes to the loo in the night. Reward any efforts to deal with a wet bed or PJs, as the child needs to take control of the situation to a degree. They can help change themselves, or strip the bed. If you layer the bed with a waterproof mattress cover, then a towel, then a sheet, then another waterproof cover, another towel and another sheet you don't have to remake the whole bed once you've stripped off the wet stuff.

I hope your GP is sympathetic - some are useless and some very switched on. I would ask for Desmopressin Melts and a referral to an enuresis clinic - in many areas (like ours) they are run by School Nurses. The waiting lists can be long so even if they won't see children under 7, which seems to be the minimum age most start, if your DD will be turning 7 in the next 6 months or so it would be worth referring now as she may have to wait some months to be seen.

Check out the ERIC website, and feel free to PM me if you want any further info. (Sorry this is so long!)

Sidge- that is brilliant, thank you!!! Loads of good tips there for me- especially like the bed layering one, as I have been feeling guilty about "making" dd go back to wearing pull-ups as I couldn't keep going to those dry-night sheet things at 2 a night (they aint cheap!)

From what you say, she does seem to produce large volumes of low-odour urine, (I used to use desmopressin drops in my old dog!) so that could well be a factor. But she also seems to have a lack of rousibility- she sleeps no problem in a cold puddle

She doesn't seem to have any problems during the day, but I'm not sure how much she is drinking at school (although they all have water bottles) Maybe I should encourage her to drink more in the few hours after school?

one of the reasons I decided to act now (apart from dd's insistence!) was that I did think there might be a wait for further referral, so I thought better to get it on her records now- she will be 7 in June

No problem

I would say that the huge majority of children I saw in clinic didn't drink nearly enough. Water bottles rarely get finished and lunchtime drinks are not enough really. If you think about it, if a child comes home from school at say 1530 ragingly thirsty they then chug maybe a half litre to a litre between 1530 and 1830. Which is turned to wee within a few hours which is after bedtime. Or they generally don't drink enough and so they have a weak flabby bladder which isn't being filled, emptied and refilled enough to make it strong and toned.

Let her drink what she likes up to maybe dinner time, then tail it off. And encourage lots of wees before bed. Avoid milk after dinnertime as the body treats it like food, digesting the 'food' part first and then creating urine with the fluid afterwards, so prolonging the excretion time.

Also avoid red and brown drinks (tea, coffee, cola, hot choc and berries) as they seem to stimulate the bladder in some children.

Good luck!

Hi All,

Well, we went this morning and the doctor was lovely. dd2 was great, not shy, could tell the doctor why she was there. I think the doctor recognised that dd herself was keen to try to sort things, so she has referred us to the local enuresis clinic, which I was hoping for AND she asked if we wanted to try medication until we get our referral. I asked dd what she wanted to do, and she was keen to try the medication, so we are going to be starting on desmomelts in the meantime

I know we may still have a way to go, but dd is happy that we are trying to do something for her and I think using the tablets will at least give us a clue as to what is going on, based on whether or not they work/ help/ don't work

Thanks all for your input- I'll keep you posted on how we get on

That's brilliant - both that DD was confident enough to talk about it, so sees it as something that needs sorting out, not just something horribly embarassing and that you have the tablets to try.

Give her a big hug from me - but you don't have to tell her that's where it's come from

Let us know how she gets on.

I remember both of mine at 6 wanted to be dry and I just said their bodies would do it when it was ready. DD was dry just before she was 7 and ds2 isn't near at all yet at 6.4. DS1 was 7 1/2. I will wait until they are ready. I wouldn't bother with the GP at this stage.

Hope it all works out for your DD and yes, your DH needs to stop with the annoyance.