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Really upset - daughter has no vaginal opening

147 replies

kasbah72 · 23/03/2011 13:57

I went to the gp with my daughter on Monday. She has been complaining of having 'drops' after weeing. She has said it for months and this is the 3rd time we'vebeen back. Each time the urine sample has been clear. We have been working on drinking more water, sitting on the loo for longer, more careful wiping etc.

On sat night she woke up in the middle of the night screaming because her 'ninny' hurt. I washed it gently and put on sudocreme but decided that on Monday (inset day) i would take her back to see the nurse.

Oh god, not sure how to say this.

She decided to examine her and pretty much recoiled in horror when she parted her labia.

She has no vaginal opening.

How the hell did I not know this??? What kind of mother am I?? What kind of WOMAN am I not to see an absence of such basic anatomy???

The nurse told me to look and that whole area (once you part the labia majore) is completely smooth. There isn't even a hint of an opening. Nada.

Of course I wanted to burst in to tears in shock but I had both kids there and had to stay calmish. I couldn't help some tears springing out but brushed them away saying I got hair in my eyes.

The nurse went to get the gp and on the way went to see the midwife who said they never check the inside of the labia because people don't like any intimate activity with their babies. WTF??? She also said that in babies the opening is often very small or tucked away so she wasn't surprised I didn't notice, especially as she has been pt since before 2 and fiercely independent.

The gp came in and examined her which, of course, upset DD and so that upset me. She said that there is no opening and she was going to get her referred urgently.

The best case scenario seems to be that this is a imperforate hymen where the hymen covers the vaginal entrance but this should be higher up, not leaving her completely smooth.

The other best case scenario is that her labia minori (sp?) have fused but there is no evidence of this so unlikely.

Both of these options mean surgery to cut her open and create a permanent opening. Hideous to contemplate but ineveitable whatever the outcome.

Even worse is the graded scale of what else could be going on... they are going to have to give her an ultrasound to see if she has any actual vagina, vaginal passage, cervix, uterus and ovaries. She may be missing any or all of those.

My poor poor little girl. I can't even contemplate that worst case scenario. All she has ever wanted to be is a Mummy. That is all she wants to do. How can I even think about a future where she can't have kids? Where she can't have sexual relations? Where she may have to go through reconstructive surgery and use an expander to try and make the skin graft from her buttocks work as a functional vagina??

Does ANYONE know of anyone who has gone through this?

We are waiting for a referral to come through asap and the GP is chasing again today.

K

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
tinkerbell20 · 25/03/2011 17:01

i no i couldn't belive what i was hearing! and they were my exact thoughts about where he thinks a baby comes from and where periods come out of, im going to wait to see what they say on the 8th and then make a complaint about my dr!
i cant tell you how angry i am and he was making me feel like i was stupid!!!

FattyArbuckel · 25/03/2011 17:10

The local PCT is the organisation to complain to and not the practice itself tinks. This GP shouldn't be practicing based on what he has said to you.

HooverTheHamaBeads · 25/03/2011 17:18

Tink that is the most bizarre thing for a Dr to say. I would definitely complain formally about him.

FreudianSlippery · 25/03/2011 17:18

So sorry you have found this - how scary for you. I really hope you can stop feeling guilty. I never even knew this existed - I knew about the imperforate anus because they check newborns for it.

As for tinkerbell. Omfg!!! There are no words! Apart from 2 - fucking twat! Angry

tinkerbell20 · 25/03/2011 17:18

thankyou i am definatly going to complain i just want to find out exactly what is wrong with her first so i can clearly put my point across to them!
all your comments have made me feel alot better, thank you so much! i was begging to think it was me in the wrong and not him.x

tinkerbell20 · 25/03/2011 17:21

freudian - my thoughts exactly, im in every mind to go back and draw him a diagram or show him my own because he obviously has never seen one b4!

HooverTheHamaBeads · 25/03/2011 17:29

I can only assume he means that a usual child's vaginal opening is not fully open due to the hymen being present???? Unless he is completely off his rocker? Was he an old bufty due for retirement?

How would this Dr perform a smear test, I wonder? 'Open wide, say Ahhhhh'???

tinkerbell20 · 25/03/2011 17:53

haha he is a newish doctor at the practice who has taken over from the one thats just retired hes been there about 2 years now and iv never been impressed when iv been to see him before this this time hes taken the biscuit!

MadamDeathstare · 25/03/2011 17:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisyesterday · 25/03/2011 18:00

tinkerbell, if a doctor genuinely said that to you then you HAVE to report it.

i am being serious here.

wtf other kind of stuff is he telling people????

QOD · 25/03/2011 18:11

jeez tink!

and another yes my niece had it story! Minor surgery to snip it open, day case, she was running round right after, just stung a bit when she wee'd. They think it fused

Oblomov · 25/03/2011 18:37

OMG, Op poor you, hope you get it sorted soon.
Tinkerbell, that is even worse. Complaint re GP, at a later date, when you have got over all of this.

Hopefully Op and Tinkerbell, can support echother through this.

VivaLeBeaver · 25/03/2011 19:07

The only thing I can think in his defence is that the urethra opening is kind of inside the folds at the very top of the vagina. Rather that it being a totally seperate hole with skin between like the anus. He maybe thought you were dim enough to think there should be something different from normal.

But for the love of God you would think he'd have at least heard of this condition and even if he hadn't he would trust that a woman who is a mother of an older girl as well would know when something is wrong. Did he actually examine her?

tinkerbell20 · 25/03/2011 20:35

yes he did examine her and pointed to her uretha and said "the hole is there" i said no this that is the hole that she wees through not her vigina hole, and thats when he said that we should only have one hole and that it was normal. but im pretty sure i didn't give birth through the same hole that i wee through! im so greatful for all your comments, very much appreciated!

norksinmywaistband · 25/03/2011 20:59

As a child I had a vaginal opening problem, not sure exactly what it was but I know I wasn't properly open so to speak. Was seen at GOS age 6/7 and had day case treatment. Sorry the details are hazy but never got to ask the questions of my DM.
Anyway, I am absolutely normal ( well in that department anyway ;) ) and have 2 wonderful DC

kasbah72 · 25/03/2011 21:07

OMG tinkerbell20 that is outrageous!! Definitely complain.

Ok, the great great news from this end is that we saw a fantastic consultant and all is well. Tinkerbell - I hope this helps.

She has labial adhesions which basically mean that her labia have fused to create a membrane that covers her vaginal opening. It probably happened pretty recently which is why I won't have noticed and is absolutely fine. Although she has a pretty severe case, it is not something to worry about.

They are usually caused by low oestrogen and sometimes by an infection or increase in bacteria. It may even have happened in the last couple of weeks. She has been complaining about drops for a year so it is more likely it goes back that far.

She may have a tendancy towards it and so they should open at some point but may well close up again. When she gets to puberty, her surge in oestrogen will keep them permanently open.

The consultant doesn't recommend surgery because that will open them but then the cut ends are likely to want to fuse together again as they heal. Totally pointless.

She said that the drops that she is complaining about are absolutely typical of adhesions. Basically a little bit of urine is getting trapped behind the seal and then leaking back out around the urethra which is causing the drops.

It sounds like she had vulval vaginitis (sp?) at the weekend hence the huge pain. If she gets it again or if the drops make her very sore then we can use an oestrogen cream to try and open her up. We won't use it unless we absolutely have to. It can lead to breast tissue and discolouration around the labia etc. which obviously we don't want her to go through if it isn't needed.

The consultant is confident that there is nothing wrong behind the sealed opening. Thank god.

We feel hugely relieved and totally and utterly exhausted.

Thanks for all the lovely messages of support and I hope this helps anyone else who has to go through the hell that happens when something like this is spotted.

K

OP posts:
HooverTheHamaBeads · 25/03/2011 21:26

Kas so so pleased that is wonderful news that it will all sort itself out.

thomasbodley · 25/03/2011 22:35

Amazingly brilliant news and so, so pleased for you Kasbah. Be kind to yourself the next few days - you'll probably be exhausted by the worry of the past couple of days xx

winnybella · 25/03/2011 22:41

Oh, great news. You must be so relieved. Have a lovely weekend Smile

MadamDeathstare · 25/03/2011 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tinkerbell20 · 25/03/2011 23:59

thats great news what a relief! fingers crossed that we will get a similar outcome, but got another 2weeks 2 wait yet untill our appointment Sad

Bucharest · 26/03/2011 06:33

Great news Kasbah! So pleased for you.

Tinkerbell, good lord, agree with everyone else. Did he/she do their medical practice on Barbie or something? Do complain, when you've sorted your little girl's problem out.

supergreenuk · 26/03/2011 07:01

This might give you a clue as to if it was open when she was born. Do you remember a White stringy discharge in her 1st few weeks? My dd had this and midwife said it was normal. You can't really miss it. Do you recall anything like this.

Now starting to wonder if I pay too much attention to this area as I see it regularly. There is always poo getting around that little crevis.

There is nothing I can say as I feel desperately upset for you. Keep us informed. God bless and I will be praying for you.

supergreenuk · 26/03/2011 07:04

It seems I'm a bit behind on things. Great news. I'm so relieved for you x

Pancakeflipper · 26/03/2011 08:56

Really delighted for you KasBah. Huge sigh of relief eh? The consultants theory of it being recent seems to fit with you not noticing it cos we seem to less spend time seeing their bottoms once out of nappies. Hope all works out well and least you have found a good consultant if you need them.