Circumcision - how do I discuss it with my 3yo?

[Gracie123]

Long story, but basically DS needs a circumcision for medical reasons.

We have decided to go privately as the NHS version looks horrendous and private doctor will come to our house, less scarring, faster healing time, shorter waiting list... etc...

I'm not here to have people make me feel guilty about a toddler getting circumcised. He needs it for medical reasons and it's been a very emotional decision already.

What I'm hoping is that someone has been through something similar and can help/advise me on how to talk to him/prepare him for it.

The surgery is booked for 2 weeks time. Should we be discussing it now, or will that just make him scared for longer? Should we bring it up on the day for the first time?
How much detail would you go into?

He's my first baby and the only boy in our family (sister had all girls) so we've not really had anyone to talk it over with.

Also in the last 48 hours I've had less complaints about his willy than we have all year!

Gracie123, I share your sentiments exactly. Unless mums have had to deal with the the pain and misery an infected foreskin inflicts on their son, they have no idea. Circumcision puts a swift and permanent end to a nasty problem and is a welcome release from to the ongoing cry of "My willy hurts."

We vaccinate to prevent disease and that carries more serious risks in the rare cases it goes wrong. Circumcision can have post op. complications but they are rare in competent hands and easily remedied if they due occur.

I look on circumcision like vaccination, which is why both my boys were circumcised as babies. Prevention is better than cure is the lifestyle choice pushed by health experts in all areas of medicine...except, for some strange reason, circumcision? If you look at the mass of recently published information confirming the many benefits of this time honoured, worldwide, procedure, I find the UK attitude to it, very odd.

According to my great gran. it was once the thing to do as a matter of routine and this is still the case in the US today. We need to change our mindset that circumcision is a terrible disadvantage for a boy. It clearly is not, and in many cases it is the kindest cut of all.

Sorry. I don't want to get into a discussion here with those who disagree. You are welcome to your opinion. I've just stated mine.

Update day 9:

The ring is nearly off. DS hasn't noticed, but surgeon emailed and asked for an update so I had a closer look whilst he was playing in the bath. It's completely detached most of the way around, with just a tiny bit left.

Should be all over in the next day or two

I can understand why it is done if it is causing problems but I really just can't get my head around doing it 'just in case'. Where would you stop if you started thinking about things that way?! What other body parts could we remove at birth just in case they cause us problems in the future? It's a very strange way of thinking.... Yes, foreskins that don't retract are more common than people think but in most cases they completely resolve themselves without causing any problems. I think it is important to raise awareness that it is very normal so that people don't panic and rush into unnecessary procedures. As I said, if it is causing complications then that is a different story.

Update day 10: opened his nappy this morning to find the plastibel hanging by a thread!
Wasn't really sure what to do, so I rang the surgeon. He says it's normal and can take two or three days from now for the last bit to drop off. Just put the diaper back on.

Just realised (thanks for the PM Suze ) that I haven't updated for a while. That's because I had almost forgotten we had it done!!

The plastibell dropped off when I changed his nappy about 20 minutes after I last posted! Patience...

Anyway, since it's been off, potty training is going much better, and we pretty much have weeing licked (pooing is taking longer, but I'm told that's common for children with ASD).

I'm so pleased. It was worth every penny.

Thanks for all the support, especially those who PM'd me.