wow, the world of circumcision is a very difficult one isn't it! tempers run high and everyone has an opinion!
How crazy is it that I will post the most personal details and horrors of my life here, but was considering name changing for this post as I don't want to be flamed!
I had to get my DS circumcised, and found it a very disturbing experience - NOT the actual thing, but the misinformation, prejudice and conflicting views... I really had to dig around for information and spent a long time making my decision, as it seemed everyone had an agenda or a 'stance' rather than it being about my baby and his situation.
I ended up having it done in our house, by a very very experienced (and private) fully qualified consultant. It was the best decision and I am glad I did it that way, although initially the idea went against every bit of received wisdom about medical procedures.
In my search this is what I found out, which may explain why things are like they are today. You may or may not be interested, but here you go!
10 years plus ago, circumision was relatively easy to get on the NHS, for medical grounds, and even for religious grounds in many hospitals (not discussing the morals of this BTW!), as it didn;t have any stigma, and was regarded as an operation like many others, it just didn;t seem to be that big of an issue either way.
THEN due to an increasing muslim population, circumisions became very popular and the cultural side of it overwhelmed the medical side...so any debate around circumision seems to contain a debate around:
Religion
Otherness
Britishness
Identity
Fear of the unknown
Freedom of choice
Right to free healthcare/ role of NHS
Rights of the child
Body ownership and what parents can ethically decide for their child or not
... so basically, circumcision got driven underground. This was a terribly bad thing, as it meant whole communities turned to unqualified people to do circumcisions in the home, with unsterilised knives and no aftercare or information on what to do if something went wrong - in these conditions the risks are appalling.
As doctors now don't tend to perform many/any nowadays, this means that people within the NHS regard it as a tricky thing to do, and rate the risks as high (a bit like midwives not delivering breech babies). Places like the Portland do circumcision privately, BUT its not a very frequent operation for them (and yes they do give a general for it), and the doctors don't actually have that much experiences - they only do approx 20 a year, if that.
So going against convention are a number of private doctors, who believe that whatever the rights or wrongs of circumcision culturally, people will do it/ have a need to do it, so for a few doctors, it almost seems like their mission to provide this service.
I ended up getting a consultant who had done 1000s of circumcisions a year, and was an absolute expert. He provided a proper service before and after, which is crucial, and talked us through exactly what we should expect and how best to minimise our babies discomfort.
AS you/ someone mentioned, in babies they have to cut the foreskin a bit before using the plastibell so that the foreskin can stretch, so it makes it slightly more invasive than in children, as they dont have to cut it - that should make your and his experience so much better as that was the only bit i had trouble with really.
Top tips I can pass on:
- he suggested we take photos at 12 hrs, 24 hrs and 36, and beyond if we felt the need, and send to him, so he could immediately see if there was a problem (this was such a reassurance, i wonder if you could suggest doing the same?)
- he described in detail what a circumsised baby penis would look like, as i had no idea and didn't know what was normal or not! he also showed us pictures of the plastibell in action as it did its thing, so we could see what it should look like so we didn't feel uncertain
- he also gave us a recommendation of which hospital to go to, what to say and what to demand/ watch for, just incase of an emergency - he said alot of damage is done by outraged doctors trying to take off the plastibell and not knowing what they are doing! no idea if thats true or not but it was good to be prepared! he said to go to a hospital which has a paediatric surgeon in house and permanently on call, as many dont and a normal paediatrician or A&E doctor just wont know what to do. Anyway, the risks are tiny tiny tiny, but it pays to have a plan for all eventualities.
So, just wanted to give my support and offer advice from someone you'd been through that journey from NHS to the idea of doing it in home, and i can understand how odd that seems to anyone who hasn't had to thread that path themselves!
Your and your DS experience will be different as he's 3, but if he wont move, then it should be over quickly, and i hope he wont remember the loss of control too much after a little while. I was thinking that the fear/ loss of control would be very traumatic, but then I realised that he would experience that in a hospital too, as they knock him out, and so it cant be avoided poor chap.
Good luck, and let us know how it goes,