Some Fretwork and the Interminable Christmas Play at the Chalet School

[EmilyAlice]

Now girls, line up and listen because this term is a busy one. Firstly we are combining our hobbies club and the Christmas play, so we will need our fretworkers to get busy on the scenery, some beautiful découpage for decorations, our nimble-fingered needlewomen on costume duty and some scrapbooks for - er...
Now one other thing girls. As you know the Chalet School has moved from the Tyrol, to Guernsey, to Armishire, to some island or other and thence to Switzerland.
This term we have moved again and the first thing I want you to do is to find out where the bloody hell we are....

Brilliant plan Northern

But is there a nice doctor to fall for the young available mistress seeing to the casualty?

One of the girls will have to stay in a nearby inn for six months whilst their compound fracture of both legs mends so we've left another girl behind to be company for them. I don't think their parents will mind spending thousands on fees only for them to receive no education at all.

Since the girl in question will doubtless emerge engaged to the supremely eligible young intern with private fortune and stately home of his own, there won't be any objection at all.

Toothache sounds a risky sort of plan, Northernlurker - are you sure you wouldn't prefer a nice genteel hangover headache? You don't want to find yourself in Herr von Francius's torture chamber consulting room having half your teeth yanked out just in case, and getting squirted in the eye with acid for good measure.

My lambs, I've spent such a gentle Sunday looking out the baby angel costumes and darning them with stitches so tiny you might think I was French. I've also made them fully inclusive for the larger, more gorgeous angel - they come in all sizes up to about a 28 but they can be further enlarged if necessary. Oh, won't we look delightful tripping merrily across the stage.

Actually I think we should have a Christmas play that is more in tune with our surroundings because I can't be a golden star and dance en pointe on the steppes.
I think we should create our play around the rustic shepherds of Mongolia, the simple manger in the stableyurt, the kindly peasants lost in awe and wonder...

Mornington are we breaking up early this year for mumps? It's just that the date of the play will decide whether I will be needing a maternity angel dress, or a smaller-in-the-tummy, larger-in-the-bust postnatal angel dress. Regardless I'm sure there will indeed be tears in the audience at my tripping. Or if we get the timing spot on I could do a great, live action Mary although I'm not a bloody Bettany

True fact, my French mother-in-law embroiders. And I knit. She tried to teach me to embroider, but my stitches weren't up to it It makes me feel like such a CS needle craft cliché.

I think you will be too busy ImpYCelyn. Goodness me. Three weeks bed rest and then you might be allowed downstairs for a cup of tea. Certainly no stage appearances. Tsk tsk.

But I've been practising so hard surely for one night of merry tripping 'babs' could go in the nursery at Freudesyurt? S/he's bound to be a perfect poppet and Anna won't mind a bit. Then I can go back to being very busy.

during my three weeks bed rest

Thanks to whoever it was who started the Whose Body conversation. V. much enjoyed it and now trying to resist buying more for the kindle...

Do we know which Bettany is writing the play this year? (Doesn't Bride even write the Millies' panto one year?). Can I also book a spot in the Feudesyurt nuseryurt so that I can be an angel? Mine has learnt to sleep through anything so will fit right in, and Anna won't want to have the fun of actually seeing the play so won't mind. A bit worried that Joey might try to adopt him though...

I've also had a break to read Whose Body? Not quite the right quality of doctor though...
Please can I not be a sheep this year? I have curly hair and a silvery voice which will be trained to strength by Plato one day, can't I advance beyond baa-ing?

Primrose book two was 99p for kindle too yesterday. It would be rude not to...

Princess as a special concession you can be promoted to No. 1 Reindeer.

I'm guessing that's a fairly prominent part when baby Jesus is born in a stableyurt, yes! Smashing!! pays fine

I think given the location, that the reindeer will replace the donkey, so a very important role indeed.

Imp Given that I'm a well bred Chalet School girl I would hate to be accused of rudeness, and have therefore purchased book two without delay.

I've also just started Peveril of the Peak on the basis that Vb were reading it in Ruey. It seems a very long book to choose to read with a class...

So, Princess is chief reindeer-donkey, the Bettany / Maynard clan are all the Marys / Jospehs / Jesuses / chief soloists. Any other good parts going?

Suspect my straight hair and face that could never be mistaken for anything other than English, plus shocking Naomi Elton- plus levels of atheism, will condemn me to Sheep: Noises Off.
Or joining Tom Gay/Jack Lambert types in building scenery. Much more my thing!

I think I will make a once in a lifetime appearance as Genghis Khan.
I understand that Mongolian Wrestling is a very popular sport, so we could include that?
We must find time for some folk dancing too - I wonder how we could make Strip the Willow more suitable....

Something like this, perhaps Emily

must get grip on real life

Peggy and bride both wrote a panto I think.

The situation that always annoys me (apart from Len being basically sold to the grasping reg entwhistle) is poor Josette. She was going to university and instead gets dragged to Australia and both get and Sybil get stuck there with Aussie husbands. Bit grim.

I fainted but matey had smelling salts handy and bought me round without summoning the doctor. Did you ever hear of such a thing?

I'm going to Joey's for English tea tonight. She'll sort me out.

Yes, the Josette thing. Even weirder is the way Miss Annersley lets her know she won't be going to St Mildred's as a passing comment with all the others around.

That is lovely Primrose and will give the costume department something to think about.

Oooh, please can I be chief Strip the Willow-er? As a Scot I am naturally excellent at ceilidh dancing, and talk about sitting to the north or south of the hearth, and wear full kilt/sporran/Glengarry at all times, and pronounce all my Bs as Ps. I must also be referred to as a 'wild Highlander' at all times. Och aye the noo! Fit like?

Please may I have a part in the play too? My singing voice is terrible, though - what did they do with non-singers? Do I get to be something dull like Head Programme-Seller instead, like Jessica Wayne, who was of course thrilled to bits?

Completely coincidentally, I have just been having a Dorothy L Sayers fest myself! I particularly rate Have His Carcase and Murder Must Advertise - Wimsey's ability to piffle, as Harriet says in Strong Poison, is particularly appealing and displayed to its best in these. Gaudy Night is brilliant but I royally screwed up my own university career so it makes me feel a bit inferior. I am always terribly afraid that I'm one of those precocious early-blooming intellects with no staying power that Harriet and the Dean deplore at the beginning. I also feel the villain is a bit of a cop-out in that. Can we have a DLS discussion thread after Regiment of Women? I keep going back to Five Red Herrings too, and Strong Poison, and the one that's mainly about Miss Climpson - I can't remember the name but it's the one about the old lady called Cremorna Garden. I think the earliest ones, like Whose Body and The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club and Clouds of Witness are good but not a patch on the later ones. They were good enough to utterly hook me when I first encountered them a few years ago, though. At the moment I'm on Thrones, Dominations, which I've only read once before. It's the one that DLS left unfinished and it was completed by Jill Paton Walsh after her death. I'm tying myself in knots wondering how much was written by DLS and is therefore canon and how much is JPW.

I have read all the JPW books and I would say it is mainly JPW. I get cross when she gets the details wrong too.

Yes, JPW has a couple of real howlers in the book set in wartime, and lots of minor things in the ones set in the 1950s. She's such an experienced writer, I'd expect better.

May I point Sayers fans to this site? www.fadedpage.com/index.php
And Josephine Tey fans, too. (Note that I'm being careful with my English in case the Abbess is listening.)

This is the second DLS conversation I've had on here recently. I think she needs a thread of her own.