Tell me you're childless without telling me

[Sparklingtwinkle]

I have all the time for me.
I dont have to cook.
I travel when i want .
I can get up and go without a care.
No school mum dramas.
No worries over anyone but me.
My money is mine all mine.

My evenings and weekends are peaceful. I sleep when I want. I don't have endless laundry or need to plan activities.

I have horses rather than children so I-
Don’t have lie ins, ever
Don’t travel
Have no money
Am too exhausted to do anything other than work and horses

But at least I don’t have to do the school run!

Apart from running the schooling ☺️ Geez I crack myself up.

The only poo / sick / wee I have to deal with is mine. And the cats.

Because we can never be happy about or enjoy the fact we have no kids, there must be something wrong with us.

My SIL was a primary school teacher, and the first thing she did ti celebrate when she retired, was go on holiday out of school holiday times!

I can go to a child-free wedding and not get falling-over screaming drunk at the relief of an opportunity to get pissed.

I don’t look my age.
I holiday when it’s cheap.
I often buy impractical clothing and footwear.
I don’t know how to wipe someone else’s bottom.

I can just... leave the house.

I can go from asleep to out the door in 15 minutes including a shower and breakfast if I need to.

My patio doors are see-through all the way to the bottom

I never ever have to do elf on a shelf

I can just... leave the house.

This is priceless.

I have a small car

I lie in now. Kids are at university.
Car is now pristine. Kids at university.
ive never seen Frozen. Kids were too old.

im not sure any of these posts mean it’s clear you don’t have kids unless someone says their pelvic floor is solid.

I get up when I want, not worrying about child getting to school on time
I don't have to worry about money when the kids need new clothes/shoes.
My cat gets my undivided attention.

@keepswimming38
my pelvic floor is rock solid. 🤣⭐️

I’m currently spending four days fell walking in the Lakes in lovely weather and nobody but the YHA knows where I am.

I’m 53 and my tits are still defying gravity.

I don’t have to stash chocolate or sweets away so that little hands can find them.

If I want to go to a show or gig tonight, I can just go.
I don’t have to balance my work hours around having to suddenly leave early because school ring again.
No constant illness in the house, no battles to leave the house for school before my work day.
No worrying about online bullying.
I can lie in on Sundays.

And my boobs are still pretty perky at 64. Can’t do that pencil trick.

If we don’t feel like cooking we can just go out. Or get a takeaway.

I never stand on legos.
I can pee without an audience.
I have never cooked or served a chicken nugget.

@KimberleyClark 🤣👍
I cannot say the same regarding my boobs. Let’s just say I don’t need a kneeler to do the weeding….as for the pencil, it’ll never be seen again🤣

I have 4 young kids and my pelvic floor is in fact solid...😂

Ah one can only dream. I've forgot what it's like to just...go out.

But I don't understand about the patio doors...

I deduce when school holidays are by the amount of kids (or lack thereof) in school uniform on my morning dog walk.

At a recent gynae appointment, the consultant said he could tell I didn’t have children by my pelvic floor.

Offered to babysit but told the parents I’d have to you tube ‘how to change a nappy’ if required to do so. Offer was still accepted. They must’ve been desperate.

For years and years my patio doors were always covered in fingerprints. The second I cleaned them, POW in come the kids and smeary again.

I have a colleague who's trying for her first at the moment and is gushing about how her life won't change, baby will slot right in, feeding/sleeping will be in a routine from early days... No idea....

I have a clean and tidy house