Childfree over 60

[Catgirl007]

Any other childfree ladies over 60 out there?
How has being childfree shaped your lives and do you have any regrets?

Im 81, and always single other than a very brief marriage in my 20s. I decided early on that living intimately with a man child and bearing his children was not for me. I decided at age 11 that I did not want children and told my parents so. My father told me "You will have what God gives you." That sums up my parents attitude to a woman's place in the world back in the 1950s/1960s. My reply was that I would have what I took for myself in this world. I could not see how having children would serve my interests. I have no wish to be directly responsible for the life of another human being.

Ive done many things that I could not have done if I had DC. I changed career 3 times, including going to uni in my early 40s to requalify. I have lived and worked abroad and travelled solo all around the middle east - places like Afghanistan, Iran and Syria which it is difficult to visit now. I have worked as an independent contractor and run my own business since I ceased working for an employer at age 60.

Now that my health and mobility are beginning to decline I have to think of the future. I do not intend to end my life in some crappy nursing home. The idea of communal living appals me and I would rather cut my throat with a rusty saw. I will take my life at a time of my choosing when I can no longer look after myself. At my age, I have no fear of death.

You have had a fulfilling life.

Well done to you, you certainly are an inspiration.

Thank you for sharing details of your amazing life. Xxx

@Catgirl007you’re on Mumsnet - the very place that is full of complaints and angst and stress about children! Read a few threads on here it might put one off ever having a child! So I think there are plenty of parents who would be happy to tell you all about the drudgery of having kids.
I do have two (in my 40s, I’m 63 now). My sister doesn’t. I think more because she didn’t want that kind of relationship with a man (she’s heterosexual and has had relationships in the past, but does not have a partner) that would lead to children. But I don’t think she has any regrets. Interestingly though she is a psychiatrist who used to specialise in children.
My neighbours are child free. They spend about seven or eight months a year abroad - a week here, a month there, a few days somewhere else. Both can work remotely. They are not English I’m not sure why they are here at all really (and living on a street full of families as there are three primaries within walking distance and they are dead centre of them all). But they couldn’t have done that unless any children went to boarding school. They seem very happy.

You sound amazing. And very strong. It wouldn't have been easy to reject children so outrightly in those days. Can you get yourself on a long cruise? Probably much better medical attention, if needed, than a hospital.

Duplicate message deleted.

Because we choose them. They stay with us - and us with them - because they want to. There is no obligation. My experience of families is that they are far more tricky and troublesome than any friendship.

Im 81 now and could never have had the life I led with children. Travelled solo all over the Islamic Middle East to countries its difficult to visit now - Afghanistan, Syria Iran etc. In my early 40s I left one career and applied to uni to improve my qualifications. I then became an academic until I retired at 60. Went into consultancy and opened an antiques business which I still run. I also do private tutoring at postgrad level so am still involved in the academic world. Never regretted the lack of children, a partner or family life. I don't define myself in relation to other people. If asked my occupation I use antique dealer or retired academic.

I have read this thread this afternoon, not when the individual posts were written, so I’m not sure if you know you already answered here last August? I read both your posts within three minutes and thought ‘oh wow, there is another Mumsnetter your age who has been to the same places you have’ before I twigged 🤣.

62 and very happy with my choice to be childfree. I will have enough money to pay someone to take care of me if I need it, and I am so glad that I won't put anyone through the guilt and stress that my own (much loved but difficult) mother put me through in her declining days.

True, but friendships can also be hard work and problematic.

I agree with this . I don’t have a great family , no real fallouts but just lost touch over the years so not connected to anyone now . Was talking to two friends the other night who were saying one friend was not engaging so much and it was as because they don’t have as much money , they said well she’s got the money but no family nothing else and that’s what’s important . This woman has life long mental health issues from trauma as a child and the other is estranged from her children . Maybe people are blind to ‘ family ‘ . The friend they were discussing has great friends and close connections just not with blood family .