If you have CHOSEN to not have children ...

[canttellyouwhereorwhatido]

Have you ever fallen pregnant by accident ?

I am staggered by the amount of MN who have had accidental pregnancies and am trying to understand how this happened. Are you regularly aborting because the contraceptive options are so unreliable ? Or is this a cop out for those who want babies but partners not keen and manipulating the situation as an 'oops' ... sorry about that but I don't believe in termination ?

If it is unreliable contraception . Are the failure rates simply lies made up by the manufacturer ? If so, something needs to be done to ensure more reliable contraception. I am assuming here that child free couples have just as much (imagine a LOT more ) sex than those with kids ... OR is it as simple as , 'it's no good just having the pill/condom/ diaphragm etc if you don't use it according to manufacturer's instructions ?

Amoxicillin had the warning in laat year when I got it. Possibly keeping it in just in case?

Probably just haven't updated their leaflet yet, or worried about litigation. Current advice here. Will be interesting to see about the Ozempic type drugs, as you say.

Interesting! Thanks!
They mention combined pill but not mini pill. I wonder if it is different then.

Edit. Just googled and it appears to be the same case of moat don't affect

We do have a choice - vasectomy. It’s just a lot of men are too irresponsible to put a few days of discomfort over having their partner deal with contraception.

Once DW and I are sure that more DC are off the table, I’ll be booking in for one. Not thrilled at the thought, but it’s the responsible thing to do

Once, when I was going and stupid. I've taken contraception very seriously since then.

I used to teach pregnant teenagers up to age 19, almost all would claim they'd got pregnant accidentally. However, during deeper discussion on the subject almost all would explain they forgot to take the pill, they stopped taking it because "it made them fat", they didn't actually use the condoms they were given, they thought you couldn't get pregnant in winter (?!) etc. I reality, they'd claim accidental pregnancy but they'd actually not used contraception effectively.

You have to allow for the different ages of MNetters.

Until 20ish years ago, coils (IUS or copper) were typically only offered to women who had had children, and implants had only just been invented. Most women were dependent on contraceptive pills. The progesterone-only pill was less reliable than current incarnations and had to be taken in a precise time window.

There are very, very few people who manage to take medication exactly as prescribed every day over a long period. For women reliant on contraceptive pills, this made the risk of accidental pregnancy much higher than today, when many women use long-acting contraception.

And before anyone jumps in with, "Well, I only every used the pill and I never got pregnant" - this may be luck. If you have never been pregnant, you don't know if you are actually fertile. Your partner may have a low sperm count. You may have been lucky and missed pills but not at a crucial part of your cycle.

Never, but I’m an outlier as my chosen contraception method is lesbianism.

My childless/free friends have never (to my knowledge, and we’re a close candid bunch) had an accident. I think the accident rate will inevitably be higher amongst women who want children (or at least, don’t NOT want them).

I’ve also had a marvellous time with the report button this morning. My soul for a mute poster option.

I’m mid-40s, have always been resolutely childfree and have never been pregnant. Despite a (mostly) very active sex life for 25 years. I’ve always been very strict about contraception, and a few years ago got sterilised.

Never, but I’m an outlier as my chosen contraception method is lesbianism

Haha that reminds me of a time in uni. I did a psychology degree and we had to take part in various research studies being done by phd students, members of faculty etc. A friend of mine went to do one, and I can't remember what the actual study was but it involved a set of questions that she later relayed as going like this:

Interviewer: "Are you sexually active"
My friend: "Yes"
"When was your last period"
"Three weeks ago"
"Could you be pregnant?"
"No"
"What contraception do you use?"
"None"
"Well how can you be sure you aren't pregnant then??"
"My girlfriend has a very low sperm count"

I think this thread has an undertone of barely disguised misogyny. Women are being careless, pregnant accidentally on purpose, young mums being silly...... blame the women of course.

OP, I question your motivations for starting this discussion.

My soul for a mute poster option

Amen. Although it wouldn't be a thread on here without the usual scolding about how unnatural/cold/<your adjective of choice here> we are. And the 'but you're on Muuuuuuuuumsnet!' like we haven't noticed.

The question was being asked from the female perspective. Of course the male must bear responsibility but the question of whether a man who doesn't want children should rely on or trust his female sexual partners to look after contraception, or whether he should have a vasectomy or always insist on a condom, is difficult for a woman to answer.

Interestingly, there were few threads where concensus seemed to be that man should always take precautions because he can never know.... Especially when female partner express want for a child in any way.
Iirc np one could really answer how would they feel if their partner obviously didn't trust them and doibled up contraception just in case you... Don't take yours accidentally on purpose.
Can you imagine these threads and what would posters say if women came in and said
"We always agreed I will be on a pill. DH started using condom after I said I would want a child eventually 'just in case'. I feel hurt and concerned"
He would be called proper bad names andLTB would raining down like crazy.

Essentially, most posters on MN were hapily suggesting men should not trust women with contraception.

I've never been pregnant and have wondered if I was capable of it, just out of interest, but that ship has not only sailed but has vanished over the horizon by now. I was interested in your point about the birth rate falling if men really had control of their fertility and I think I know what you mean, at the moment it's condoms or a vasectomy, the second is rather final and the first absolutely not to many men's taste so they do tend to rely on women looking after contraception.
If there was another way to shut down their fertility I do think a fair percentage of men would use it, especially in their younger years, as I know a lot of men who have no thought of fatherhood until they're mid thirties at least.

I don't think increased options for male contraception would decrease the birth rate. The male pill has been developed but never took off, and as pp said if men were really so against reproducing they'd be keener on condoms and vasectomies.

I believe that for every woman who might "trick" a man into getting her pregnant, there's a man who is quite happy to spread his seed and walk away from the resulting babies. They can pretty much do that Scott-free, and I suspect some men like the idea of their genetic material being passed on, even if they're not so keen on the idea of actually parenting.

The plot of The Big Lebowski (much hailed as a masterpiece by wannabe dudes) is basically that: a beautiful woman wants to have sex with a lazy, workshy stoner, so she can get pregnant, and demands that he play no part in raising the child. Total male fantasy.

The male pill has been developed but never took off,

It's still in trials no? None available on market yet.

The male pill has been “in development” since the 70s. If there were any real appetite for it you can bet it would exist by now.

The fact is, pregnancy is not something men have to fear, and they can walk away from parenting.

I wouldn’t trust a man who said he was on the pill.

No, I agree there.

Never been pregnant, and I've always known i want to be child free. So I've always been careful with contraception.

I've used a mix of the pill, condoms, mini pill, hormonal and copper coil as contraceptive. I've taken the morning after pill twice.

I've been having regular sex since age 19, now late 30s: hope I my streak of luck continues into menopause.

I've been sexually active for over thirty years, mostly just using supposedly unreliable condoms, and never became pregnant.
I suspect condoms wind up being unreliable because people skip using them and take chances.

How do you know you/your partner were fertile? Maybe you were infertile - or lucky? But I love how you assume it's because you are better than all other condom-users...

Condoms are unreliable for various reasons, which does include operator error (!), but also that men can produce sperm in pre-ejaculation fluid before they are erect enough to use the condom. It's usually not many sperm, but it only takes one...

I don't think condom statistics for being unreliable are because people aren't using them

I think the statistics show condoms are reliable 98% of the time if you use them perfectly and 87% of the time in reality because people aren't perfect

I think a 13% failure rate if not used perfectly is sufficient to account for the majority of people who are falling pregnant accidentally whilst using condoms

How do you know you/your partner were fertile? Maybe you were infertile - or lucky? But I love how you assume it's because you are better than all other condom-users...

Bit hostile there, that was uncalled for.

No I don't know, obviously, because I never tried to get pregnant.

So maybe don't make massive assumptions about other people being too unreliable to use condoms and/or lying about having used them?

There will be people reading this thread who have had traumatic accidental pregnancies, because of condom failure, and they don't need to be told that they were actually crap and didn't use them correctly, unlike perfect you. Think about what you are saying.