How often do you see your parents?

[NeonSoda]

If you’re child free, how often do you see your parents? How about speaking to them?

I’m 38 and live a few hours away from both of my parents. I see my mum probably once a year and my dad maybe twice a year. I speak to my mum on the phone maybe once every three-four week and my dad maybe once every two weeks.

Every month, I live 50 miles away. They are both in their mid to late 70s and my sister can’t be bothered (whole other story there). Once a month isn’t too much, we definitely don’t speak everyday I would find that weird and we all have our own lives to be getting on with and I have a very busy job too. It works for us. Heading there tomorrow because my mam is having an operation on Tuesday.

But this is what works for us - there is no right or wrong. But I do want to look after the people who looked after me in whatever way makes sense for all of us. That said I have my own place and my own space, and my own life.

Since this thread started my mother has had to go into a nursing home. Now I'm living alone for the first time in my life (and thoroughly enjoying it). I visit her every couple of weeks. There's precious little to talk about, as her short-term memory is gone (she doesn't remember even major stuff like breaking her hip or having Covid) and I don't have any news that would mean much - she doesn't know any of my friends and there's only so often one can say "I went to knitting group this week".

My parents live a 2.5/3 hour drive away, I moved away from my hometown 4 years ago but still see them probably once a month/6 weeks. They come to me a lot but I try to go to them too, it is easier for them though as I have a cat to find a sitter for. I usually FaceTime them once a week and will sometimes call in between but we have a family group chat that there’s chat in most days, sometimes we will individually message outwith the chat too. We are all pretty close so try to have regular visits. We actually see/spend more time with my DPs than my DH’s and they live about 15mins away.