Celebrating being childfree

[Yippet]

Far too often society shuns women for choosing not to have children. I’ve been called selfish, a weirdo, crazy cat lady, will never know what real love is and my favourite “what you doing on mumsnet if you’re not a mother” etc

Let’s celebrate our choice without judgment and tell me the things you love about being childfree.

*Don’t want to offend anyone who is without children not by choice.
*This is not a parent/children bashing post

I’ll go first, I love

Getting up when I want on days off
Having money to spend on myself
If hungover not having to deal with anyone apart from feeding the cat
Time to myself
Freedom to go days out/trips/travel the world when I want
Quitting my job and going back to uni to retrain

Wow, I've never been judged (at least not to my face!) on my decision to not have children.

For me the advantages are being able to be totally selfish in my choices. As you, if I want to lie in, travel, drink too much, etc I can - no consequences.

As it happens I've now saddled myself with horses, dogs, cats, goats and chickens so I am absolutely a slave to their wants and needs and I will go through the pain of losing them over the next 10 years which, by design, will dovetail with my ability to care for them effectively.

For me that works. They go, then I go. Neat.

The quiet! I'm ND and struggle with loud noises, particularly banging and screaming. I went to a new leisure centre for a swim on Saturday morning and it was a sensory nightmare.

I like interior design and my house stays mostly like I left it (DH allowing 😅).

Being able to have a weekend of nothing if I want to. In the same breath, being able to have a weekend eating / drinking / dancing.

A weekend break 5/6 times a year, mostly revolving around food / drink and culture.

I'm ND and struggle with loud noises, particularly banging and screaming

Same here. I can't imagine how parents just ignore the 'Muuuuum! Muuuumm! MUUUUUUM!' stuff.

I was not originally childfree by choice but do now think of myself as childfree. I do love the peace and quiet and the freedom. Freedom to spend all day reading a book if I want to, or just to grab my bag and keys and head out somewhere. Freedom to explore the world, figuratively through books or literally through travel.

I’m introverted and need time alone. I love the children in my life but I don’t think I’d cope with them 24/7. So I celebrate the fact I’m able to do that I suppose.

All my time minus 37.5 hours a week is my own, and I do exactly what I want with it. I prioritise exercise, and do some kind of workout six times a week. Evenings and weekends are about relaxing and unwinding, not being a slave to others.

I have much more disposable cash than parents with a similar income. So I have healthy savings and pension arrangements, lots of lovely holidays, nights out, whatever else I fancy.

I don’t have to accommodate children’s bedrooms, toys, mess, noise or taste, so my home is calm, tidy and beautiful.

I don’t have to keep up with children’s stuff. I’ve never seen Frozen, or any cartoon less than 30 years old.

Minor point, but one that seems to cause a lot of drama in other people’s lives. I have never stood at a school gate, and can’t imagine anything more ridiculous than caring about what a bunch of people who don’t have jobs think of me.

All good!

oh yes school gate politics is definitely one of the things I’m glad to have missed out on by not being a parent as well as never having to deal with outbreaks of headline and worms.

Totally agree. I just can't stand / tolerate the absolute racket that the majority of parents seem to be oblivious to. I guess they've learnt to filter it out (or maybe they don't even notice?!!) but the volume levels are too much for me. And that's without the inane wittering from performance parents to the precious children. 🙄

Every time I get the tube, I deliberately avoid carriages with children as it's usually ear-piercing as soon as you get on and being trapped with them is just hell on earth for me. I'm ND so I guess that explains some of my noise hatred.

Sorry that you've been subjected to such bizarre behaviour. It never occurs to me to ask whether anyone has a child or not when I meet them.

Every day I'm so grateful I don't want children because of the freedom it gives me. I have freedom to do any job, hours, location, pay, extra training etc aren't affected, I can live where I want, I don't have to consider schools or child's friends etc, I can spend my time and money however I wanted I can read, study, do hobby's, travel, eat whatever I want whenever I want, I have the freedom to leave my home whenever I want within 10 minutes to meet people, go to dinner etc. I can watch the films I want to at home or the cinema, I can spend ages doing simple things like styling my hair, bathing, cooking a meal or cleaning. If I needed to I could leave my husband and not only could I leave him I would never have to see him again. I have the freedom to not have to do the school run, help with homework, look after a sick child, comfort an upset child, deal with issues, deal with grown up child issues and babysitting grandchildren. I could change career, move abroad, learn a language, take up burlesque, learn to cook french food or take up art. Or I could do none of that and binge watch netflix. It doesn't matter because it only affects me. I have the freedom to do whatever is best for me and my life and whatever makes me happy and that is something I celebrate every day and I am so grateful for.

Sorry that you've been subjected to such bizarre behaviour. It never occurs to me to ask whether anyone has a child or not when I meet them

We're not talking about asking if people have children or not. We're talking about reasons we're glad we don't have them. On the board for women who for whatever reason, don't have children.

I'm not childfree but my brother is and I envy his ability to just go. I have to be physically here during term time and can't do anything spontaneously. I have a teen and am slowly getting a bit of flexibility back but they don't mention the total lack of freedom once your kid starts school. It's worse than a mortgage as you can rent out your place and leave, but I'm here doing these hours till A levels are completed (maybe beyond).

The freedom to live my life as I want, outside the constraints of work.

Get up when I want at weekends/holidays
Go to bed when I want
Eat when I want and what I want without having to factor in what children will or won't eat
Arrange trips and holidays without having to worry about whether there is anything for children to do
Not having looming expenses such as university for children
No worries about having to leave an inheritance
Social services aren't going to come a-knockin' if my fridge contains nothing more than a bottle of wine and a week-old lettuce
No vicarious anxiety over school bullying, friendship issues, exams, teacher-strife etc.
No having to juggle my working day around school pick ups
No worrying about what example I am setting all the time
No seeing all my annoying/embarrassing traits reflected back by a miniature me
Able to watch an 18-rated film on the telly on a Sunday afternoon if I want
Can have what pets I want without worrying about them being incompatible with children
No adult DC expecting me to fund them/be an unpaid babysitter

(I could probably go on for hours!)

Also the freedom to live where you like without having to factor in schools.

I am so so grateful for the fact that I don't have the worry and stress that (as my mum says) continues even after they've left home.

I worry enough about what would happen to my dog if I went before him I don't think my mind could cope with a small human counting on my survival too.

In more light hearted terms.. I am grateful for cheaper holidays; Easy meal times; being able to exercise often and consistently for years; and that goes with sleep too. And child free friends that don't have to work plans around their children (even the ones with grown ups). Bliss.

Childfree by choice but no freedom to live where i want because i live in social housing. I live opposite a school ( not my choice) and the parents have started parking in the residents car park again.

The peace and freedom.
Sleep. I absolutely need my sleep and could not do with night wake ups. When I don't get proper sleep for few days it breaks me.
Easy relocations (cities, countries)

Oh and food. I spend what would be solid nappy budget on weird and wonderful food🙈 That brings me to cooking. I have freedom to put on music and spend half a day in a kitchen having fun cooking without being interrupted. Just fun creating weird fusions. I love it. It's my fave downtime to clear my head

Having my home to myself & the cats. I couldn’t face sharing it with any other humans.

Just having to please myself when I cook.

Being able to go to the gym before work / yoga / evening classes / seeing friends after work without factoring in childcare.

Lovely peaceful early mornings.

Being able to go on holiday in term time.

The headspace.

Another one who hates a lot of noise and too many people about! I love my space and peace and quiet! Not having to watch a child go through some of the painful experiences I did, and not having to worry about how they're going to deal with the world in the state its in.

As I have disabilities and don't go on holiday, that's not a factor, nor is 'sleeping in' as with thyroid disease you are never refreshed and no matter how much sleep I get I feel wrecked. So much for 'you don't know tiredness till you've had children' to which I'd reply 'try having an underactive thyroid, at least with kids they will leave home eventually!'

I love that I don't have to worry about children.

My friends who are parents are always worried about something - it never ends! When they had babies it was endless; agonising over sleeping, weening, A&E visits because they had a fever, then preschool, then school, worries about schoolwork, fitting in, bullies, friends etc.

Quite a few have autism or ADHD and they worry if they'll ever be independent. It was this that made me decide 100% I wasn't willing to have kids, as I didn't want a disabled kid to look after and worry about the rest of my life. My cousin is disabled and basically her mum's life ended the day she had her. She's a shadow of herself and is on depression medication.

They have all these worries about climate change (ironic) and this whole trans thing being shoved in kids faces, honestly every single mum friend I have has aged so quickly too.

I love my clean, tidy house and peace and quiet, my lifestyle suits me perfectly with hobbies, friends, as much sleep as I need.

I run marathons, go on lovely holidays, have a wonderful husband, have time for anything I want to do spontaneously.

Being a parent seems relentless, exhausting and I'm glad I'm not one!

• I don't have to childproof my home.
• I don't have to carry on "being Mum" when I get a migraine.

Yes the freedom to go to bed/coddle yourself on the sofa/take things easy when you feel unwell is a great thing!

Love all of these! I've been particularly grateful for the lack of responsibility this week when feeling under the weather. I can go to bed at whatever time I like and get as much sleep as I need, and no school run the next morning

I’m an Olympic-level sleeper and I take my naps very seriously. The ability to go to bed in the middle of the day with a book and all the cosy duvet/blanketness without having to think about it? Heaven.

But for me it’s mostly that my MH can’t handle dependency. I’m not a mentally well person and the idea of helpless beings needing me for things and wanting to talk to me or tough me all day long is nightmare fuel.

I also am at least glad that whilst I’m always struggling financially - newsflash, not all childless people are loaded - I don’t have additional mouths to feed and people to keep housed.