Childfree = Rich?

[Troubledwords]

Why is it that people assume that because you don't have children you must be rich?

We would be loaded without kids.

But that doesn't mean everyone who doesn't have kids is loaded.

Literally. How many times does this need to be explained? Young children can explain that just because something is X for them, it doesn’t mean that it’s X for everyone else.

How lovely for you. If you would be loaded without kids you must be comfortable even with them. What a nice position to be in

However some of the posters on this thread are carers for disabled partners, single people on low incomes etc. Its a little unkind to come and crow about how well off you are in front of them isn't it?

I don't think anyone can fail to recognise or accept that in general people without children have more money that people with children.

That's the problem with generalisations though - you can't rely on them in specific situations and it's ridiculous to keep harping on - whether it's a poster on here or a rl friend - that that person must be rich due to one element of their lifestyle, without taking into account (a) all other factors or (b) the lived experience that they are telling you about.

Social mobility plays a part in this debate. I am part of a group of friends where I'm not only the only childfree member, but also the only one from a working class background. I have a decent job with a decent wage but DH earns minimum wage and I send significant amounts to family abraod to pay for healthcare. We get by - we are lucky enough to have a nice but quiet standard of living, one holiday per year, occassional treats etc, so long as there's no major household emergency (a couple of years ago, our washing machine, cooker and freezer and died within a week of each other and that was enough to push us onto the bones of our arses). Every single one of my friends in this group, however, have a much higher standard of living than we do - huge houses, multiple holidays, designer clothes, if they want something (for themselves or kids) or they just go and get it. I love these women but they make huge assumptions about my bank balance, because they take their situation and subtract all the costs that go to their kids. When I baulk at the idea of an impromptu weekend in New York, or catching up over dinner in a michelin star restaurant, I am told that I surely must be able to afford it due to having no kids.

I am able to recognise that these friends are outside the parenting norm and wouldn't say that all parents are loaded and better off than me because that is my immediate experience. It seems that recognition tends to go one way though.

Money is such a personal and emotive topic though. It's horrible to have to keep explaining and justifying your lack of it to those who don't get it and that applies to parents, non-parents, couples and single people depending on individual circumstances.

I love these women but they make huge assumptions about my bank balance, because they take their situation and subtract all the costs that go to their kids

Perhaps you should point out the disparity in income even after they've done that and what they can still afford that you can't even after their spending on their children.

I think this attitude feeds into the stereotype that all CF women are hardfaced high flying career types earning shedloads and with nothing to spend it on but exotic holidays and sports cars.

I agree with @MrsDanversGlidesAgain .

For those of us who have virtual no disposable income and who would have loved to have children but couldn't, it's a double kick in the teeth to read or hear that we must have loads of money.

I guess people are also comparing to themselves before they had children rather than the CF population at large?

Even then though I remember being in my first graduate job and making £0 after bills and being depressed about it, then I progressed quickly in my career and started to have disposable income, now after a kid I’m back to £0. So maybe the cost of living also factors in to why people think being childfree makes you rich, they think the child is the variable that changed everything when really the kid is 1 of a million things that changed and why nobody has any money anymore lol

I am just guessing but if there are people put off having children because of the cost of childcare, then a lot of people who do become parents must have had disposable income to start with (and therefore disposable income to lose) so maybe it’s kind of a self-selecting group that watch their own financial circumstances change and think it’s the kids wot done it

As a couple DH and I do have more disposable income as a result of not having children, that’s undeniable. But “no kids = rich” is a crass way to look at things.

End of the day if two people had the same salary same disposable income and one had a child and one did.

Then you cannot say the childfree person is rich.

The one who had a child knew that by doing so it would cost money. The one who didn't uses the same money and spends it on other things.

We all make choices on how we spend our money and if you decide to have kids its gonna cost. You cant expect to have the same disposable income and pay for ur kid with some other pot of money unless u earn more money or are rich in general.