Childfree = Rich?

[Troubledwords]

Why is it that people assume that because you don't have children you must be rich?

I think single mothers have it tough in different ways. They have less time and never get a minutes’ peace, which is honestly my worst nightmare. But if they were facing homelessness they’d have more of a safety net because they are rightly considered to be more vulnerable. So it’s nuanced, which seems somehow to really piss people off on this thread?

Good for you 👍

I really think if you aren't doing really well financially if you don't have kids then you've gone wrong somewhere- obviously not including people who may have medical reasons for why they can't work.

One of the hardest things I found after IVF didn't work was this assumption that I had to be a high flying career woman now I had "failed" to become a mother and that if I didn't manage that I would have "failed" twice over

It just put this massive amount of pressure and expectation on me at a time when I was incredibly fragile and its a really cruel thing to do to someone who has been through infertility.

That doesn't mean childfree people should all be high fliers either, I'm just speaking to my experience.

Sure, but it’s still a more comfortable place to be in, isn’t it?

Yet another lazy childfree stereotype.

No, it isn’t a more comfortable place to be! Child benefit, tax credit elements etc reflect the fact that someone with a child has additional costs to someone who doesn’t. If I lose my job I still have to feed and clothe myself and my children. It doesn’t make me more comfortable, it protects my children!

@Secondwindplease you make me laugh at your ignorance!

Years ago when I was made redundant I was so grateful I did not have children, the thought of being short of money and having children must be awful. I just had to worry about me and my husband, and the bloody mortgage of course.

And by being able to feed your children ergo you can feed yourself too. And if you were made homeless the council would have a duty to find you a roof over your head as you have children.

A single person with no children wouldn't get any help. I've been there so I know! having been made redundant I wasn't even eligible for job seekers allowance (as it was called back then) - I applied and got rejected. I had up to then paid in over 10yrs of taxes, NI was there as we were always told to act as a safety net. Where was my safety net when I needed it? Nowhere that's what. If I hadn't taken a huge pay cut just to take a job as I couldn't afford to wait I'd be out on the street, homeless with naff all help.

Being single, childfree and with no partner means there is lot of risk you have to accept if shit hits the fan and most people like this end up saving up money to make sure they never find themselves in that situation because they know there is never any help for them. They get a measly 25% off their council tax and that's it.

That is why you are still in more of a comfortable position than others.

I would feel the same but I do think this is influenced by having my husband. When I was truly on my own - aged 16, homeless, no family support - it was the scariest time of my life. Sometimes people forget, or can’t imagine, how terrifying it is to be single and at the very bottom of the pile for social support.

Of course it’s right for single mums to be at the front of the queue for help, because nobody wants to see homeless children. But spare a thought for the people who are behind you in the queue, surely…

I know I would have been a few grand a month better off if I never had kids . I would have had a better career and I would have made the choices I wanted rather than what was a better choice for them . I did a lot of " putting up with " as a parent that I would not have even entertained when I was child free.

@Secondwindplease absolutely, I have no wish to see anyone homeless. I was just comparing my own position with someone in the same position and having children.

Your situation is completely different - I was deciding which club to go to when I was 16 (no one bothered about underage drinking where I lived) and I have no idea what it would have been like to have homeless at that age. It must have been awful.

I think largely people think mainly of themselves and think- well if I didn't have children then I would have more money so this must be the case for everyone else. I mean taking into account 2 people doing the same job and earning the same (with no additional household income) then yes the person without a child would likely have less essential bills to consider, but it doesn't mean they'd be rich. The converse stereotype is also rife mind you in that some assume everyone with children are skint. Reality is that having children or not is just one aspect of someone's life, its impossible to make sweeping statements and neither should we seek to.

I wish.

It’s lazy thinking - they think about the money they’d save if they had no kids and decide that everyone without kids is in that exact position. I’ve had literal arguments with people on this site who insisted that I had to be “absolutely loaded” because if they hadn’t had kids they would be.

Alongside the lazy “career woman” stereotype where the only reason you wouldn’t have kids is so you can callously work to become a millionaire…

It’s infuriating. I’m single and don’t have any disposable income whereas the parents I know are the ones going abroad every year and having their kitchens redone!

Single parent here, of course I would have more money if I didn't have a child, the tens of thousands in childcare, school fees, extra curricular activities, the struggle to managed my time being a good and present parent and commit enough energy to work to continue to progress and become successful.

We have children because we chose to, but let's not pretend it's not putting us at a huge financial disadvantage.

Out of interest I did a comparison on entitledto for two situations - a single person in a 1 bed flat vs a single person with a 14 year old child in a 2 bed property (so no childcare costs). There was about £200/month difference in housing costs. Assuming both worked a 40 hour week on minimum wage, the single person would get £276 per month in universal credit. The parent would get £1086 per month in universal credit plus child benefit. Taking the additional housing costs into consideration, the parent would therefore get £600 more. That would go a long way to making up for the cost of a child, wouldn’t it?

That amount is because, on the whole, in most cities there isn’t a £200 difference between a 1 bed or 2 bed. In most places it’s up to £500 as landloards take increased benefits into account.

No, you are just choosing to spend your money differently. You could have had multiple holidays etc, but you decided to have the experience of bringing up a child in this world and that costs more money than doing something else

@fitzwilliamdarcy when you say 'parents' is that as in a couple, so they probably have more household income than you children or not? Honestly I understand what you are saying about single and the cost burden and I have also wondered how others in a similar situation, (but I thought maybe lower income) manage to go abroad especially as it has rocketed in price, but I guess I will never know how they afford it. Their outgoings monthly must be less in some way or they earn/receive more than I thought.

@Alstroemeria123 but surely a parent would want the best for their child not just to feel they would be worse off if they did not have children.

I have no children and but can still imagine how difficult it must be to bring them up on UC or whatever the benefit is.

I just looked at where I live 🤷‍♀️ not a particularly cheap area of the SE, so am surprised it’s not representative.

Actually for the decent places there’s practically no difference between a 1 and 2 bed here.

Not much of a difference in Midlands cities either, because there is an abundance of two bed terraces from mining days but relatively few one bed flats.

Yes, exactly. But I’ve found that the financial advantages of being in a couple tend to be downplayed on MN, inverse to the way in which single childfree people are assumed to be absolutely rolling in it.