Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

MNers without children

This board is primarily for MNers without children - others are welcome to post but please be respectful

Childfree = Rich?

111 replies

Troubledwords · 03/10/2023 08:42

Why is it that people assume that because you don't have children you must be rich?

OP posts:
mincepieandcustard · 03/10/2023 10:52

Why is this even an argument? Obviously having children is more expensive than not having children. I'm childless. I have a lot more disposable income than my friends who earn the same as me because they spend money on their children. I spend money on me!
They also appreciate that as the childless one when it comes to work, I'm the one who's expected to work late, work Christmas Day, not take holiday time during the summer during school holidays because apparently as I don't have children these things don't matter to me (which is bullshit). That's just how life works.

BobShark · 03/10/2023 10:53

@LumiB exactly, things like holidays are a luxury that many can't afford.

I think many parents make the assumption that child free have plenty of money because everything they have is for them, I'm comfortable enough but last in line for new clothes, or things for myself, these are my luxuries. If you don't have kids there's nobody in the queue before you.

Progressing at work is still possible, but feels like it probably take more energy when you have children to put first, so it's harder.

My best friend is child free by choice, she isn't better off than I am, she's ambitious and has a great job, but I don't think she has more than I do,

None of these things are complaints, I love my son, I wouldn't change anything.

Being child free doesn't make you rich of course, but of course you have more disposable income as you don't spend it on your dependents.

I don't know why this is hard to understand.

80sMum · 03/10/2023 10:53

If you never have children, you may not be "rich", as that would depend very much on your individual circumstances, eg what job you do, whether or not your parents are wealthy and give you money, where you live etc.

Having said that, without children to support (and they can sometimes need support throughout adulthood as well as in childhood) you will be a LOT better off financially!

usererror99 · 03/10/2023 10:56

Well my kids cost me £2k alone in childcare fees per month that's before I've fed and clothed them and housed them. On a single income. If I didn't have kids I'd be significantly financially "richer" - not really rocket science isn't?

XelaM · 03/10/2023 10:58

I would be rich 🤑 as I have to pay for private school fees and for her pony and riding lessons 🏇

SleepingStandingUp · 03/10/2023 11:04

Well I'd be richer than I am now without kids as I'd a. Have a job b. Not have to spend wages on children and childcare.
I'd be poorer iny current circs without kids as the benefits o get pertain to my children.

I just think some people are surrounded by a minority of stupid people. I couldn't imagine having those conversations in the op with anyone and don't know anyone who would.

Secondwindplease · 03/10/2023 11:08

XelaM · 03/10/2023 10:58

I would be rich 🤑 as I have to pay for private school fees and for her pony and riding lessons 🏇

I mean, it’s definitely a stealth brag but I do admire your brass neck 🤣

Secondwindplease · 03/10/2023 11:13

SleepingStandingUp · 03/10/2023 11:04

Well I'd be richer than I am now without kids as I'd a. Have a job b. Not have to spend wages on children and childcare.
I'd be poorer iny current circs without kids as the benefits o get pertain to my children.

I just think some people are surrounded by a minority of stupid people. I couldn't imagine having those conversations in the op with anyone and don't know anyone who would.

Honestly I think this is where a lot of the confusion (and indignation) has crept in. If you rely only on your earnings, then having children reduces your standard of living, sometimes dramatically. If you are state dependent or receive some state support, then having children may not reduce your standard of living or may even increase it.

Also, two massive intervening variables are whether you are single and how old your children are.

Honeychickpea · 03/10/2023 11:20

No, childfree != rich, but childfree definitely = happier.

LumiB · 03/10/2023 11:21

BobShark · 03/10/2023 10:53

@LumiB exactly, things like holidays are a luxury that many can't afford.

I think many parents make the assumption that child free have plenty of money because everything they have is for them, I'm comfortable enough but last in line for new clothes, or things for myself, these are my luxuries. If you don't have kids there's nobody in the queue before you.

Progressing at work is still possible, but feels like it probably take more energy when you have children to put first, so it's harder.

My best friend is child free by choice, she isn't better off than I am, she's ambitious and has a great job, but I don't think she has more than I do,

None of these things are complaints, I love my son, I wouldn't change anything.

Being child free doesn't make you rich of course, but of course you have more disposable income as you don't spend it on your dependents.

I don't know why this is hard to understand.

I think your confusing things. Because disposable income is the amount of money that an individual or household has to spend or save after income taxes have been deducted.

So in your example of your friend who you say isn't better off than you are, if you both take home the same disposable income say £2000 after taxes, then no she isn't better off than you.

You're point is she gets to spend her disposable income on herself and she comes first in her needs and you don't get it because you chose to have children and they come first instead and that therefore is the gripe so to speak.

Gnomegarden32 · 03/10/2023 11:24

I really think if you aren't doing really well financially if you don't have kids then you've gone wrong somewhere

In this case I have definitely gone very wrong 😂

BobShark · 03/10/2023 11:29

@LumiB I suppose that then comes down to what 'rich' means?
If having disposable income for designer clothes and overseas holidays makes you rich, then the ability to spend that 2k on those things makes my single friend rich, whereas I would choose to spend that same money on raising my son.

It's just a perspective on what makes a person rich, everyone has different ideas about what that looks like.

I feel rich because I have a child who I love, can provide well for, an apartment of my own, enough money to go for coffee with my friends and am not 'currently' panicking about paying my bills each month.

The assumption people make that child free people have more money isn't hard to comprehend though, most parents aren't resentful of spending their extra income on their kids, but if asked they would obviously say that they would feel richer financially without them.

AllUmder · 08/10/2023 20:22

I do fit the stereotype, but then if I had kids I'd still be well off; it's weird to think that everyone without kids is loaded, just like it's weird to think everyone with kids is poor!

CleverLilViper · 09/10/2023 11:45

It’s because people believe that if you don’t have kids it means you must be a high flying career woman. People often think there’s only two choices in life- have kids or a career.

The reality is that there are some parents who are also rolling in it and are high flying career people just as there are CF people who are the same.

Equally, there are CF people who aren’t career
people and aren’t rolling in it. Some have had their earning potential limited by caring responsibilities or their own health conditions etc.

Its impossible to make generalisations and say that all CF people have loads of disposable income compared to people with kids because that doesn’t ring true for every situation.

For some, yes, maybe. I probably have more disposable income than some parents, but less than others. I’d have more income if I was living that DINK lifestyle but I’m living that SINK life instead.

I chose not to have kids because I knew I couldn’t afford it. That’s what people should be doing before having kids- deciding if they can afford to do it.

I wish the simple fact of not having kids made me rich. Instead, I work a normal job, earn normal money and still have to pay normal bills and don’t get any assistance from the government.

Oh well. I’ll tell the powers that be that us normal, non-rich, CF folk would like to exchange our kid card for the rich card now.

redeyedcat · 21/10/2023 17:38

You are likely to have more money being CF than if you were not CF, as obviously you aren't paying for an extra human's food, childcare, entertainment etc. but not all CF people are rich. Just less poor than if they had kids.

Spendonsend · 21/10/2023 17:43

I remember having more spare money before I had children even though we had less income. But i actually think being single with no children is very hard as there are less benefits that apply and rules like having to house share

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 21/10/2023 17:45

You are likely to have more money being CF than if you were not CF

If salaries are equal, then yes. I can't see that someone on £ 100k with children is going to be poorer than me on £ 35k.

redeyedcat · 21/10/2023 17:46

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 21/10/2023 17:45

You are likely to have more money being CF than if you were not CF

If salaries are equal, then yes. I can't see that someone on £ 100k with children is going to be poorer than me on £ 35k.

I didn't mean that. I mean you on £35k are going to be 'richer' without kids than if you were on £35k with kids.

JustAMinutePleass · 21/10/2023 18:06

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 21/10/2023 17:45

You are likely to have more money being CF than if you were not CF

If salaries are equal, then yes. I can't see that someone on £ 100k with children is going to be poorer than me on £ 35k.

No this would never be true. Someone on 100k earns 6k net a month. Even with 3-4 kids they’d be better off. It’s just that a lot of people on 100k want the lifestyle to go with their salaries.

redeyedcat · 21/10/2023 18:10

But then someone on £100k may have 2 children in full time childcare (and I don't think they get many free hours on that salary)? So that could be 2-3k a month. Plus they would need a bigger home if they're housing 3-4 children so rent would be more expensive. They probably would still be better off but there would be more expenses, especially if the children are below school age.

JustAMinutePleass · 21/10/2023 18:13

redeyedcat · 21/10/2023 18:10

But then someone on £100k may have 2 children in full time childcare (and I don't think they get many free hours on that salary)? So that could be 2-3k a month. Plus they would need a bigger home if they're housing 3-4 children so rent would be more expensive. They probably would still be better off but there would be more expenses, especially if the children are below school age.

Childcare is temporary and optional - me earning over 100k often don’t pay it as they tend to have someone at home to do it. Women who earn 100k are more likely to be with men who also earn over 100k and in that situation 3k a month on childcare is barely even 30% of income.

JustAMinutePleass · 21/10/2023 18:15

There’s a lot of horse shit on MN about how people with salaries over 100k are ‘poor’ as they have kids to support. Absolute rubbish.

Tinklyheadtilt · 21/10/2023 18:16

Because weak minded people like to put people in boxes, especially if they are making lifestyle choices that might make them examine their own.

NotAMumNotByChoice · 21/10/2023 18:25

Because all my take home pay is disposable income. The house was free, bills don't exist and children cost £££.

It's also fine to tell me that I am selfish for not having children, that it's ok for me because I don't have any children, and to describe women as being embittered because they had no children (someone as it happens they never met).
I have a relative who can't mention people who don't have any children without adding '-but they don't have any children'.

I have pointed out that I already know that they don't have any children and that as they are retired, any children they might have would be independent by now.

I'm ok about not having any children, but my pets aren't my children, and I don't have any disposable income.

Caththegreat · 04/12/2023 09:51

Nope.If you are single and older and homeless you are not important