My husband hasn’t been tagged into a single “fur-dad”/“best uncle”/“men who chose not to have children” thing today.

[ThatFuckingPaddington]

You know the kind of thing I mean- I always get tagged onto a few on Mother’s Day by well meaning but silly friends. I ignore them- I’m not a “fur-mum”, I have pets; I had no input into whether or not I became an aunt; I rarely discuss not having children and generally don’t go I to details about whether it was a choice or not.

Yet my husband has never once been subjected to the same thing on Father’s Day.

I’ve been asked several times why I don’t have children, my husband never has.

Anyone else experience the same?

They're not tagging you because they want to make you happy. They're tagging you to show other people how caring they are.

Men don't get utilised in this way. But women can be handy for it. Especially those women who don't have kids, poor dears.
This is a very good choice. It's not about the woman being tagged. It's about the tagger using the woman as a tool to make themselves 'look good' in their eyes.

Why does this bother you?

I don't have pets but it doesn't bother me in the slightest if anyone refers to themselves as whatever with regards to their pets.

It doesn't impact you. Why so judgey?!

I had no idea this was even a thing. How weird.

Where does it normalise that? I read it as thank god times have changed for the better because you wouldn't have had a choice in the matter. Without context and having heard the conversation yourself that's a stretch

No, she’s right. That’s exactly what he was saying. He wasn’t glad that times have changed for the better at all.

Name change fail or just guessing?

Neither. I posted what @VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia was responding to.

It was something about the choice of quoted wording, the "put a baby in you", that made me think that the quoted speaker didn't see the severity of what he (guessing sex, but I don't think women say "put a baby in me" to mean "made me pregnant") was talking about and might have a bit of hankering for the "good" old days when marital rape was legal (up until 1991 or 1992).

"a few years ago" and "no matter what you said", speaker was talking about the marital rape exemption that existed prior to R v R and the subsequent legislative change.

In all honesty, why do people post on social media about their dad and husband on Fathers day? It's attention seeking

I've given them card and
Gift

Why do they need a public announcement?

I don't understand some of those. My sister (very happily child free by choice) gets tagged in them as one of the "women who have chosen not to be mothers".

She finds it very irritating - why would she want to be weirdly included in Mother's Day? She has nothing against it, but she is not a mother, nor does she want to be (so she doesn't find Mother's Day difficult for any reason). As she says, Mother's Day is just as irrelevant to her as Father's Day.

And yes, her husband doesn't get a "thinking of you, as a man who has chosen not to be a father" message, funnily enough.

One of the women at work has a “Best Dog Mum” mug. I think it’s one of the saddest things I have ever seen. You

Is it some crap about wanting to be inclusive....though obviously it shows the ASSumption that we'd want to be included in that.

In case it gives anyone a giggle, I was in the supermarket after having a birthday tea with my folks on my 39th. (I did have a proper do with my bestie).

Anyway, I always put the eggs in the bag last. The till lady said "oh don't forget your eggs dear" and I nearly laughed because I forgot about my eggs ages ago. 😂

I neither need nor want to be included in mothers's day. It's for mothers. My parents put a lot of effort into raising me. The day is to respect their effort. Expanding mothers' day to childfree women is trivialising mothers' efforts and role in their children's lives.

Why on earth is that sad?

Neither of us have ever been "tagged" in anything like this - thank goodness! But in our 30+ years of marriage, Him Indoors has never been asked why we don't have kids, whereas I have been asked several times. So I think there is an element of misogyny in thinking that it's only a "problem" for women. (Of course, it isn't a problem at all!).

I don’t think it’s sad at all. A former colleague of mine had a “The Dogfather” mug. I thought it was great.

My husband doesn’t have to deal with such twee shite- it seems to be reserved for women.

In my experience, it’s usually women who are the perpetrators though.

What an aggressive thing to say to someone whose behaviour literally has no effect on you whatsoever. Why shouldn’t they do that if it makes them happy?

Expanding mothers' day to childfree women is trivialising mothers' efforts and role in their children's lives

Nobody is suggesting that. The OP is actually questioning this behaviour, not supporting it.

I thankfully have never been included in this shite and I’d be having words with anyone who tried it. Mother’s day is a minefield for me as it is and I ignore it as much as humanly possible.

The ability of childless men to be left alone is something I’ll likely always envy.

I guess the intended humour didn't survive the medium.

I haven't seen any humour in your posts, intended or otherwise. Just nasty judgement.

@cuckyplunt I don't think the woman with the dog mug needs pity? I think the whole dog mum or dad thing is a bit ridiculous regardless of whether people are also parents or not, but I don't pity what was presumably a choice to have the dog mug? Do you pity her? It's all so odd to me

I don't think it's necessarily men. There's lots of women disapproved of other women not having children. Maybe some kind of jealousy because they themselves didn't have any choice in the matter? It's not something usually said in a "thank goodness we live in a modern world because..." type of way. More of a "you're lucky and don't deserve to be, you're shirking you duty as a women and only getting away with it because we live in a disgraceful modern world now where unnatural people like you are tolerated" type of way. The same sort of people who are homophobic xenophobic racists but never say anything much (whilst managing to convey their disapproval with the odd barbed comment anyway) because they know their views aren't generally considered socially acceptable now.