My husband hasn’t been tagged into a single “fur-dad”/“best uncle”/“men who chose not to have children” thing today.

[ThatFuckingPaddington]

You know the kind of thing I mean- I always get tagged onto a few on Mother’s Day by well meaning but silly friends. I ignore them- I’m not a “fur-mum”, I have pets; I had no input into whether or not I became an aunt; I rarely discuss not having children and generally don’t go I to details about whether it was a choice or not.

Yet my husband has never once been subjected to the same thing on Father’s Day.

I’ve been asked several times why I don’t have children, my husband never has.

Anyone else experience the same?

I think you're the odd one OP rather than your husband. Why on earth does he need tagging?

No-one tags me and if anyone did, it would be quickly deleted and I'd block them from ever doing it again.

I think that's the point though isn't it? The OP's husband doesn't need tagging. And neither does she.

I think you're the odd one OP rather than your husband. Why on earth does he need tagging?

I think you may have missed the OP's point. OP - I presume you are pointing out that people think it's fine to talk about and question and make a big deal about why a woman doesn't have children, when it wouldn't even occur to them to question a man not having children? I have no doubt you're right.

I think you’ve misunderstand me. He doesn’t need to be tagged. He wouldn’t like it.

I hate being tagged in those things. People take it upon themselves on Mother’s Day, for some reason. I assume to make me feel included.

My husband doesn’t have to deal with such twee shite- it seems to be reserved for women.

Yes. Thank you.

They're not tagging you because they want to make you happy. They're tagging you to show other people how caring they are.

Men don't get utilised in this way. But women can be handy for it. Especially those women who don't have kids, poor dears.

Are these people who posts photos of their families in Christmas Pyjamas and shit like that?

Some people are just daffy ducks, ignore.

100%

I don't think it's reserved for women, I've seen the male equivalent of that all over social media today.

Now that you say it, that Venn diagram would basically be a circle!

Same! My husband never gets tagged in these type of things, has never been asked why he doesn’t want kids etc. He’s been asked if he has kids and he says no we don’t want children and he’s congratulated on his decision or asked how he’s ‘managed’ to get me to ‘go along with that’ or called a ‘jammy bugger’ for finding a woman who doesn’t want children. Meanwhile I’m told I’m lucky I was born in modern times because ‘a few years ago’ my husband ‘would’ve put a baby in you, no matter what you said’. So… that’s nice. Just one way childfree men and childfree women have different experiences though from things me and my husband have talked about!

I don't know. My aunt always messages me on Mother's Day to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. I'm obviously not her mum though. She has no children.

Sometimes it's nice to let people know you're thinking of them. I think that's why your friends include you OP, although if they knew you well, they'd probably know your thoughts on it and could use another day to let you know.

I don't think there's ill will or necessarily a double standard...men don't usually discuss personal stuff IME, nor do they overshare as much on SM.

People message you on mother's day to call you a "fur mum"? That's really weird. Social media has a lot to answer for.

I haven’t got pets so I’m not a ‘fur mum’ but I was tagged in/sent the photo OP shared on Mother’s Day by a few people 😬

I don't have social media so I don't get tagged in this stuff thank goodness. For me, it would depend on who sent it. I think I'd feel annoyed and patronised if any of my friends with children sent that, but I'd have a good giggle if my childfree best friend sent me a "fur mummy" one because we're both bonkers and treat our pets better than some people treat their children.

I did an insta post for mt husband because he's genuinely really good to our cats 😬🤦🏻‍♀️

Jeeze I hate the whole fur baby/fur mummy/fur dad thing. And now it's turning up on mother's day and fathers day?

Pets are not children and their owners are not their mummies and daddies. What the actual, over-sentimental, twee fuck is going on with people these days?

I loved my pets, but Jeeze.

(Sorry for the diversion from the topic)

Give yourself a slap. You're a grown adult!

I'm told I’m lucky I was born in modern times because ‘a few years ago’ my husband ‘would’ve put a baby in you, no matter what you said’.

🤮🤮🤮 to the normalisation of reproductive abuse and marital rape.

Oh my goodness you’re so spot on about this. Yes. Yes 100%. I’ve never known how to put this.

It's just a reflection of the people you're friends with on social media. I've never once had this because nobody with the ability to tag me would post that kind of shite!

My DH didn't get tagged in anything and we have 3DC! Recognition on SM doesn't make you a valid person you know.

@Franticbutterfly i think you’ve spectacularly missed the point of the OP 😬

I agree. It’s so cringey.

I completely get your point, OP.

One friend messages me every mothers day to tell me to 'be kind to myself'.

She has five children, and genuinely feels awful for me that I'm childfree. By choice.