Issues with childminder & food.

[SpringyWho]

I'm posting because 12 month old DS has been going to a CM since September & generally all is well there so far as I can tell - he loves her, which was my main concern.

Recently, we've become aware that she's been giving him undiluted orange juice in his bottles (it has stained the teats), which we are not happy about & have asked her to give him either milk or water in addition to the formula that we send him with, if he needs another drink (he'll happily drink anything, so that's not a problem).

Today, DH has come home & checked his book - he's eaten 'popcorn chicken & chips'. Apparently there was also a KFC cup on view when picking him up, so we can only assume that that's what he's eaten. There have been a few other instances when we've been slightly unhappy with what he's been given (jam sandwich, for example), but haven't said anything because it's not seemed worth it.

I really don't want to cause any offence, & she also looks after a family 2 year old, so clearly this is what they consider to be standard for a toddler & I don't want to seem like I'm criticising their values, because I'm not - we just have values of our own, too.

How should we approach this situation?

Katieskids, you get exactly what I mean - something has to change, but I don't like the idea of tearing him away from her, because they're like extended family to him. We have no local family, so she really is, in his eyes, much the same. The HV thing may be a plan - we've not had him weighed in a very long time because it clashes with our schedules & there's never been anything wrong with him in that respect.

As for the tv, it's daytime tv. When I drop him off in the morning, it's often Jeremy Kyle or This Morning. The review meeting is a good idea.

Mollycat1, your menu sounds lovely. Seeing it like that makes it all the more obvious.

In hindsight, we should have interrogated everyone much more thoroughly, but we just wanted to find someone our baby would be happy with. At first he was still only on milk, so this food issue seemed really far away & we didn't check things like we should have done

This week I served:
Pizza Toast, cucumber/carrot/tomato Chocolate pudding Fish Pie with leeks & broccoli
Fishcakes, salad Fruit Flan Pasta with cheese & tomato salsa
Chicken Nuggets, cucumber/carrot/tomato Fruit and Custard Cowboy casserole
Sandwiches, salad Profiteroles Mince, mash, with carrots & peas
Pasta with cheese, ham, broccoli & sweetcorn Meringue Mess Toad in the Hole, with carrots & broccoli

(that is lunch/pudding/tea - but I am a bit awkward about food - B/F is cereal & fruit, snack is 3 types of dried or fresh fruit)
Oh & the fishcakes were bought & the chicken nuggets were homemade.

Would you have daytime telly on all day and feed him junk food and no veg? Would you allow your extended to family do that day in day out.

Don't blame yourself. Food you can send in yourself and ask for a reduction unless she changes the menu. Daytime telly is

Most childminders I know are the same as me, we fit our lives and children around the mindees, not the other way round.

All the minders I know endorse healthy eating and after having children ourselves are actually more understanding of the reasons why healthy eating is a priority.

I would look elsewhere and please don't assume that minders with their own children do it just because it fits in. That is often the initial reason but I and others have gone on to gain childcare qualifications, and with working at home and having a family that took alot of hard work to achieve.

I've got 4 children of my own, they are all at school, I take mindees out on an outing every day, feed only healthy snacks, water or milk and would never give mindees any food that the parents didn't agree with. I ask for parents to supply a healthy packed lunch so we all know what the children are eating.

Good luck with your search for a new minder, or changing the attitude of your current minder.

Oh and daytime tv is a big no, we may have cbeebies on for half hour before pick up but thats it.

Jeremey Kyle with children in sight/earshot Definitely not the right sort of thing for a child to see.

Agree with Dan about cm's with their own children - please don't rule them out. I was a cm for 10 years, prior to that I had worked in nurseries and as a nanny. I know lots of nannies that have gone into cming once they have their own children. I also think someone that has their own children is a lot more in tune with the needs and wishes of fellow mums.

when you drop your child off and the tv is does she have other children or is your child the first to arrive. as if i am organised and am waiting for children to arrive i will sit and watch my tv. is it still on when you come bk is her husband there could he have come in from work and just turned it on.
its just a thought

I hope this thread has reassured you somewhat. Childminders (all early years settings) should have a Healthy Nutrition Policy - preferably written. healthy eating is a huge part of our working lives and we should be promoting it each way we can.

The minders menu is NOT good.

that said - I do tell parent that very very occasionally we may have a treat of McD's - and i mean very occasionally. i teach children that healthy eating is about healthy choices - everything in moderation, why we shouldn't have too much of xYZ etc but its ok once in a while.
if parents object to these sorts of 'treats' that is totally fine with me - we just don't get one.

My menus are homemade foods like:
casseroles, curries, spag bol/lasagne/ chicken breast, pizza (made from scratch), lots of veg, fruits - basically a balanced diet.

I think having a review meeting is a good idea. I'm in a minority in that I wouldn't mind my baby being given a tastette of kfc/other junk food once in a blue moon in the context of an otherwise healthy diet (in fact her brothers have fed her a piece of popcorn chicken once already and she's only 8 months ). But as others have said, the general menu doesn't sound particularly great and is definitely fruit and veg lite so it's a bit harder to dismiss this as a one-off. And the constant TV would really bug me too. As you say, the fact that she is warm and emotionally attuned to your child does count hugely in her favour and I would try and resolve these issues if at all possible rather than removing your son as a knee-jerk reaction. But they are not tiny niggles either and do need to be resolved. Perhaps you could think of it as doing her a favour in developing her career as a CM because she sounds genuinely naive about what is expected if she's writing about giving babies KFC, tbh! Not many parents would be actively impressed with that, I'd guess. Good luck sorting it out.

Sorry for being slow - was eating.

Sorry that I made that assumption! It was just the impression I got from some of the others - I do accept that you don't become a CM without wanting to be a CM, no matter what the other reasons are. & that it being convenient doesn't make you bad at your job - I am aiming to be a teacher for the exact reason that it gives you weekends & holidays off with your kids, so it's a similar thing.

xoxcherylxox she doesn't have a husband, & she lives with her family, so there is always at least the younger child there with her - usually just the two of them when we drop DS off.

pippin26, I do understand about the 'moderation' thing - we let him have small amounts of Easter egg this year, etc. I don't want to raise a child with any sort of food issues. I just feel that as a general issue he should be eating more healthily than he has been, & the KFC highlighted that.

Skegness, one piece of chicken is different to however much he had (I have no idea! This is part of the problem!) & you are your DD's mother. I would make different choices for DS than I would for someone else's child, especially if they were paying me! I know that as a one off it's not a huge deal, but I can feel it escalating.

Right, we will arrange a review meeting tomorrow, for some time next week. Then we'll figure out exactly how we're going to broach things at the time.

Thank you to everyone for your help! (& I'm of your mindees )

To be honest I would be very concerned at the lack of iron in any of the foods you have mentioned. Iron rich foods are so important for a toddler so maybe this is an angle you can use. I am a cm and I cook fresh meals daily for my lo's (all 2 and under), they drink water as they have milk in cereal or a milky pudding and milk at home. Every other day they have a very diluted drink of orange juice with lunch as the vit c helps absorb the iron in foods, otherwise they have fresh fruit for vit c. They have carbs,protein,fruit and 2 kinds of veg at each meal and cereal, toast and fruit for breakfast. Fats are also needed so they have full fat milk,cheese and yoghurts and a portion of oily fish once a week. Nutrition is so important for under 5's to build up immunity and aid strong development. You need to voice your concerns, does she have a healthy eating policy, this is a requirement of her registration to provide a healthy balanced diet. Good luck.

Poor food (KFC for a 12mth old ), dog hair all over the floor, TV on all day - I would move him asap I'm afraid - I would be worried about what else she is inexperienced at - what kind of stimulation is he getting, what types of play are available etc etc

This is all very familiar to me

in my case she did change what I asked but just what I asked IYKWIM, rather than taking the general point on board. I let lots of 'little' things I was uncomfortable with go because I felt that I was criticizing how things are done in her family.

I stopped using her and now use a nursery who WANT our feedback and constantly ask us about DSs home life and we can ask them to implement or stop anything without having to psyche ourselves up to do so (like you're doing now)

I don't mean that nurseries are better than CMs, i just mean that there might be a better child care option for you (another child minder maybe?)

she sounds a bit clueless tbh.

I am downright lax (my kids had pizza in front of a DVD after school tonight) - but tv on all the time, dog hair on the floor and SHIT food for a baby would have me pulling him out. Sorry.

My dd goes to a childminder and there have been one or two issues that sound familiar, my dd told me the other day she had a jam doughnut when out with cm!!! I was bit OMG but on balance I know my dd is happy and well cared for there. However once she turned two she started nursery 2 days a week and just goes to the cm 1 day a wk which is better. And I have always provided a pack lunch for when she goes to the cm so know roughly what she is eating (jam doughnut incident aside!!!)

p.s. you say your DC loves it there, maybe your DC is just happy and would be just as happy elsewhere (mine is now HAPPIER at his nursery than he was with that CM)

the CM made a big point of telling me how much DS LOVED this and LOVED that when I'd pick him up, and how her DD LOVES it when its a day that DS was coming because they all LOVE him there.

it was a very clever tactic but I didn't fall for it! DS is happy anywhere where there's other kids but never loved it at the CM as much as he loves it at nursery (where they don't bang on about him loving it! they don't need to!)

Is one jam doghnut really that terrible?

no one doughnut isn't that bad, but if junk food is limited to occasional, and they are getting junk food at your chosen child care as it is then you cant give them the odd treat yourself on your days off! so for selfish reasons I wouldnt be happy with it!

like with TV, I let DS watch a bit, but its an extra - I was not happy with him watching TV at paid childcare IYKWIM

No not really but something I wouldn't of given her - I'm not really strict or anything, she is allowed cakes and treats but would never think to give her a doughnut!!!

Oh cripes,I am sorry but she sounds dire. If newly registered then she should be up to date with her training and that should include some information about the every child matters outcomes - one of which is "keeping children healthy"

For comparison heres what I fed my charges for dinner this week age range 11mths to 8 years inc 1 Vegetarian

Monday - Salmon and mix veg Frittata (veggie eats fish in case you were wondering )

Tuesday - Pasta Bake

Wednesday - Steak Pie (homemade) with new pots, carrots & peas (veggie had quorn sausages in onion gravey + veg)

Thurs - Homemade Fish Dippers with Mixed veg "chips" Homemade berry crumble

I have a huge fruit bowl the kids help themselves too (littleones are helped of course) Drinks are milk and water, rarely we might have very dilute squash in summer and hot chocolate in winter. I menu plan and it works out alot cheaper than pre packed foods.

Oh and we still slip in treats like an ice cream at the park on a hot summers day or cafe "something n chips" lunch on a big day out but thats exactly what it is, an odd day here and there, always mindful of what each age of child should be eating - e.g. babies dont get packets of salty crisps and juice cartons but if an 8 yo decides they are going to spend any of there own money of this then so be it (unless parents have already decreed no iyswim.)

Not sure if this helps but I would nip this in the bud rather than worry about complaining too much. The food she is giving is not suitable for the baby end of story.

You should just tell c/m you will be providing meals (ie; p/lunch) and just remind her that all drinks are to be water or formula. No problem! I am a c/m and and parents provide all food - that way no complaints about what child is being given, as everyone wants something different. Just be assertive, he is your child and your paying.