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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

CM's Do you get dressed before mindees arrive?

89 replies

Rossco · 27/04/2010 11:13

I'm just curious really.

My CM greets us most mornings (8.50am) still in her dressing gown, usually just getting out of or going into the shower.

I was a bit at first but put it down to her being in her own home and getting ready at her leisure.

I feel its a bit unprofessional but in the grand scheme of things it is harmless.

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Soapsy · 27/04/2010 14:26

How can she be adequately supervising the children if she is about to get into the shower or in her room getting dressed etc?

If it were an occasional thing because she was taking a child in very early it would be different. That said, if I were doing it, and therefore deemed to be working, I'd be up and ready early.

I wouldn't give her a reference and I would explain why.

atworknotworking · 27/04/2010 14:31

No wonder she has no mindees left, 8.50am is almost the middle of the morning.

I would politely tell her that you feel unable to provide a reference as you would not reccommend her services.

Also of concern is who is looking after the mindees while she is in the shower, what if their was an emergency, she would have to deal with it starkers. You mentioned her DH looks after them sometimes this is totally unaceptable, you pay her not her DH and I doubt he is registered as you say he has a job. I would have told her firmly before now to get her arse out of bed in the morning.

I've opened the door with a towel on my head but fully clothed, mum was a full hour early, 5.45am, she apologised, but even then I was

StarExpat · 27/04/2010 14:35

I hope that was because of a time change, atworknotworking

Original poster

Rossco · 27/04/2010 14:45

The dressing gown is a baby blue chenille work of art that goes from neck to floor. Usually accompanied by a pair of slipper boots.

She doesn't do school runs and on certain days has a child start at 8.30 but is still not dressed.

Some days she will apologise for 'sleeping in' but I see the dressing gown most days.

My DS has been with her for 6 months and while she is a nice person, professionalism isn't top of her list. When we started with her she warned me that I would have to swap one of my days as she had a baby starting with her a couple of months later (DS goes to a nursery for the extra day the CM can't have him). As I was warned this would happen I could warn the nursery well in advance and the change went smoothly.

Then a couple of months ago she announced she could only have DS 2 days as she had another new start in May. I lost it a bit and told her that was no use to me as the nursery had no spaces on the other days. She got permission to keep my DS on but by then I had lost my trust in her not to throw that at me again and had decided to leave.

OP posts:

thesecondcoming · 27/04/2010 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HSMM · 27/04/2010 15:32

I've answered the door in my PJs once in 10 years and that was when children were coming for an extra day and there was some misunderstanding about the time they would be dropped off. I shower in my own time, not while I am 'at work'.

Missus84 · 27/04/2010 16:32

I'd be very concerned that she's leaving babies and toddler unsupervised downstairs while she showers and gets dressed! If she's so relaxed about that what else is she relaxed about? 8.50am really isn't that early.

lollipopmother · 27/04/2010 17:44

Oh dear, that sounds quite ridiculous! I've answered the door once in my PJs because I overslept but only the once. I have mindees starting at 7am and I'm definitely always dressed, DD (19m) is nearly always in her PJs though.

fudgesmummy · 27/04/2010 17:45

My first children arrive at 6-15 and I would never dream of not being showered and dressed ready for them. I get up at 5-50 so there is no danger of being caught out.She is being very very unprofessional.

foureleven · 27/04/2010 17:47

at 8.50..?! goodness most of us have our children ready, dropped at childminder washed and dressed and with a packed lunch and are sat at our desks for 8.30am, lazy cow.

And that is my twopennies worth.

foureleven · 27/04/2010 17:49

Although... I have been known to wear my slippers and have a hot water bottle in the office so who am I to judge

pointydog · 27/04/2010 17:57

all my cms hav ebeen dressed when I arrived - lol. I'd've thought them lazy slatterns if they weren't

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/04/2010 18:23

Very unprofessional and as others have said what are the children doing when she is in the shower?

She needs to up/dressed/ready by 8.45 to start work at 8.50

Summerfruit · 27/04/2010 18:27

I'm a cm and I would never dream of welcoming my mindees in my pjs, never. I wouldnt give her references.

Original poster

Rossco · 27/04/2010 19:14

It's the way she asked for the reference though, she said "I'll need a letter from you by Thursday."

I can't write her a glowing reference but she is going to hassle me for the letter.

OP posts:

atworknotworking · 27/04/2010 19:38

She has no right to insist upon a reference from you.

Or you could always write a letter and put in why you feel unable to continue using her services.

SnailWhaleTail · 27/04/2010 19:55

Can you not just put in your letter 'We used X as a childminder for Y between the dates of .... and ....'

Then just leave it at that, if she insists then offer to add that you felt it necessary to leave as the constant requests for changes in hours made the arrangement feel unsettled.

Original poster

Rossco · 27/04/2010 19:57

Trying to think of a way to word the letter now.

"X has been CM to my DS for the last 6 months. He enjoyed trips to the soft play area and the wide choice of toys X has available.

How to say she can be unreliable and to make sure times and days are set in stone before taking up a place? That she will be wearing her PJ's each morning and will not be happy when you choose to leave?

I'm ebing bitchy now but I don't want to write an untrue reference either.

OP posts:

AvadaKedavra · 27/04/2010 20:06

I wouldn't write one at all. You are not obliged to.

Or write what SnailWhaleTrail posted and then put if you want to contact me to ask any questions, here is my number.

HarrietTheSpy · 27/04/2010 20:25

Oh no - not 'I'll need a letter from you by Tuesday.' Not quite! But I hate confrontation too - I would 'forget' the letter. If she chases you up after your DC is out of there, you can push back then.

mamadoc · 27/04/2010 20:46

We briefly had a CM who did this on more than one occasion and again it was at 8.50am not early at all. She also did not apologise or seem to feel it unusual. DD often had a 2nd breakfast as Cm usually hadn't had hers yet. She had pre-school 3 mindees from different families and clearly thought nothing of greeting us all in her pjs.
It was in her case indicative of a general lack of professionalism eg short notice of holidays, confusion about money (sometimes in our favour!) I do like a home from home atmosphere over something too clinical and mini-nursery but this was too much. In the end we gave notice.
She asked me for a reference and I just put factual stuff. DD was with CM from xdate to xdate and what positives I could ie that she was kind and caring which she was.

Missus84 · 27/04/2010 20:49

I'd stick to the bare facts with no opinion - "We used CM's services for our ds between X date and Y date".

That way you're not misleading any future parents!

Original poster

Rossco · 28/04/2010 09:02

Thanks all, you are right I'll stick to the facts. Dates, activities etc and nothing more.

I dropped DS off this morning at 8.50 and while the door was open for us to go in there were no lights on and CM was in the shower.

OP posts:

EricPicklesFatNeck · 28/04/2010 09:04

so did you leave your child in a dark house with no adult in sight?

i would report the cm tbh

thesecondcoming · 28/04/2010 09:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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