CMs - To quit or not to quit, that is the question???

[needtoregaincontrol]

I've had a terribly weepy day today and although I've other stuff going on in my life, I know most of my upset is over the childminding business.

Where do I start.....???!!!!

I've been doing this job for 5 yrs and most of the time love my job but tbh, I'm feeling TOTALLY OVERWHELMED It's not the actual 'caring' for the children, that can be challenging at times but I find that much easier than the paperwork!

I bet if others were to hear what's on my 'to do' list for childminding, they would think it's not all that much but FOR ME it is. Ds2 is a major handful and I started back working when he was only very young still, unfortunately the very day EYFS commenced. I am such a perfectionist that because I'm not doing all these wonderful things I have in my head, I feel like a rubbish childminder Because I have all this stuff in my head, I'm feeling overwhelmed and therefore getting behind on things I used to do just fine. So I'm doing LESS than I was, all because my head is full of everything (stress!). I feel like I'm sinking fast and tbh, this weekend have thought of nothing more than quitting.

I DON'T want to quit, I need to get my life into some kind of order but HOW?

I recently had a week off and spent hours and hours putting together proper EYFS files together so I felt better and thought I knew where to pick up when I had more time. The problem is, I'm still trying to find my own system I'm happy with and therefore need thinking time with my files, something I don't get with my kids. I'm working on getting the kids out of the house more but dh says 'you'll always be behind, you'll never catch up!' so it's not helping me get motivated. I feel he's right but then I'm sure if I had a massive load of time to catch up with EVERYTHING, once I have my system in place I should be fine. I hope so anyway.

I just don't know what to do to get on top of it all. I'm so exhausted in the evenings I can't focus on this type of stuff so I thought that if I had some weekends to catch up, once I know exactly how I'm going to do things, I can do bits in the evenings and it won't feel so bad.

I don't know what I'm asking for really? Just felt it was time I snapped out of this feeling very sorry for myself and try and sort my life out. All I want is to care for the children and do what I need to do paperwork wise without constantly pushing my kids away at weekends

Any advice welcome or even hand holding would be very much appreciated.

Thanks if you got this far. Oh and if any others feel like I do, come and join me and lets try to get ourselves sorted!!

the answer is to divide the paperwork into sizes that can be 'nibbled' at

no one can face doing a massive amount of paperwork in one go

I have a system that I call TenTenLoaf - ten minutes on one thing, ten minutes on another then ten minutes loafing (cup of tea, bit of MN, paint me nails)

Try it and see if it works for you

and yes, once you have a system then it almost runs itself

chin up x x x

first of all BREATHE and to be doing this job for 5 years is a pretty long time.

It sounds like you are having a tough time and as BoysARe has said you need to:
prioritise what needs doing
break it down futher into managable chunks.

Then congratulate yourself with a job well done. We don't do enough of that, recognising our own hardwork (and not just as a minder, as a parent, wife/hubby, etc).
Reward yourself.

Check out www.childmindingforum.co.uk for more help, tips and advice as well.

We all get behind on stuff, my paperwork is woefully behind but my coursework takes precedence over learning journals at the moment. I have scraps of paper and photos stuffed into folders ready for write up at some point!.

Its all about finding a system that works for you hun.

Sending you a huge hug.

Take a step back and don't knock yourself out trying to do EVERYTHING that Ofsted want. It is NOT possible! Find a local CM to talk to and just spend the day together chilling out with your children in a group. You never know, you might even have time for a cuppa. It gets on top of us all sometimes and we just have to stop and look at why we are doing it.

I quit last year for the very reasons you are describing. Had few kids on books and was spending more time on paperwork than being a cm, for very little reward.

HOWEVER... after coming out of it and going to work in a playgroup, I realised that it was the most fab profession there is. In the playgroup I was paid more, the kids loved me, but I missed being my own boss and running things my way - which was actually the right way .

Have just started up again and feel soooo much calmer than I did a year ago. Ofsted themselves dont have a clue about what we do - they come out and cross the 't's, dot the 'i's but what matters is the children we look after and the care we provide for them. I used to stress about paperwork, obs/assessments but am not going to now. I couldnt give a stuff that I am the only 'good' childminder round here - all the rest are 'outstanding' , I know that I am good at what I do and am proud of it .

Feel free to CAT me if you want to chat - been there, done that and the t-shirt is now in the recycling bin.

@ UNDERPAID

Awww you sound so down chuck, send a list of what you need doing and we'll plod away with it

You shouldn't have to feel like this, although I know exactly what you mean, I don't think any CM is actually up to date their is always something else that needs tweaking / updating / implimenting, you are certainly not alone.

Are you due an inspection soon? if so send a timeline so we can get sorted.

Am on CAT

Just a quick message to say thanks for all the replies and sorry I didn't come back (wasn't in a good place yesterday!!).

I think a lot of personal stuff has got in the way too and it's just spiraled out of control. EYFS training started when I was pregnant, I took 12 weeks maternity leave thinking I'd get fully up to date on EYFS (read all my pack, get a system etc) but ds2 suffered from the birth and was in pain a lot so was a nightmare baby. I started back when he was 10 weeks old, having 4 children aged 19 months and under to look after and tbh, EYFS was left whilst I tried to manage these children on a daily basis (8 month old screamed a lot at groups as had been away from me for 12 weeks so breastfeeding was a nightmare). Then ds2 went through a phase of feeding every 2 hours for 4 MONTHS and I was utterly exhausted and not really looking after myself, I think this all took it toll I started bottle feeding when he was 5/6 months and that helped but it was all still a challenging time with these ages so all my energy went into the general 'caring' of these children. Don't get me wrong, it was great fun too and they are all so close, just tiring and I had no energy for EYFS outside of my 7.30am-6pm day.

So all that and then a stressful last year (malicious complaint made, awful Ofsted inspector who I had to complain about and the stupid actions she set took 6 months of thorough complaint processes to get removed!). I've had lots of stuff going on medically (mri scans, brain scan showed something, more tests etc etc) which has stressed me more than I first thought plus dh got made redundant, came on board with me, had 8 children lots of days (6 aged 1/2) and guess who ended up with all the extra paperwork, who still did all the cooking, most of the proper caring etc. We've finally stopped working together now as he's just had an operation (so I'm doing absolutely everything at home too as he's stuck in bed).

God, what a moaner I am!!! lol What I'm trying to say is that I don't think circumstances have helped much. I'm aware that some of you may now recognise me but tbh, I'm past caring, I just didn't want to use my normal name in case I'm 'searched' (which happens at times!!)

Anyway, I'm determined to snap out of this. We're actually having a holiday this year (don't usually, maybe every 5/6 yrs but last time was only 3 yrs ago but I told dh I was having one whether he liked it or not ).

What I need is for dh to get better and start sorting PROPER trips out with the kids at the weekends so I can thoroughly catch up. I WILL catch up, it's just going to take a while!

Help prioritising would be great, I'll come back later with a list

I'm not on CAT so can't do that I'm afraid.

I'm not due an inspection for another 2 years so that's something. The only thing mentioned at my last inspection (6 months post EYFS commencing) was that I needed a better system for obs etc. She said this was the thing that stopped me getting overall outstanding so I guess I really want this sorting for next time!

Thanks so much for letting me vent on here, it HAS helped So much for 'quick' message

Shall I bring round cakes?

Anyway. About the paperwork. Forget what you haven't done in the past and just start from today. Come round any time to have a look at my paperwork. I have cut down some of what I do.

I feel I've already taken a lot of your time up and that was really helpful. I think I have a 'cloud' over my head atm which is why I'm struggling.

My main concern is putting together a quarterly report. I need to put 'something' together for 2 of my pre-schoolers and I'm worried about them chasing me soon so I guess that's my priority. They gave me a form which tbh, is rubbish and I don't know what they want so would much rather do a proper report like you do. I just need to do it but struggling with where to start.

Cakes are always good .

Anyway, I'll probably talk to you at drop in tomorrow?

Aww, bless, sounds like you've had an awful lot to deal with! No wonder you're finding it hard to get on top of. Something I found useful for obs was to get rid of the post-its (stupid more trouble than worth, lose stickiness, have to file etc etc) and instead have an A4 page for each child that has 3 columns 'date', 'observation' and 'area of EYFS' so would put something like:

12/4/10 X looked at me and said ra-ra-ra-da whilst I fed her today. EYFS: CLL and PSED

I find this much easier to keep on top of. If you have the NCMA EYFS stickers, you could use them in the last column, or use different coloured highlighters on the EYFS acronyms, then you can see at a glance if you've got loads of KUW obs but haven't got any PD obs for a child (or whatever). HTHs

Cross posted - I do quarterly reports too and I'd say ignore the forms you've been given if not helpful and just write up the obs you have under the 6 areas of learning and ta-da - a report! Much quicker than it seems!

Leeloo1 - how do you do the 'next steps' for those, I like that idea and I have stickers, I need a system that is as easy as possible

One day ds2 WILL calm down and not be SUCH a nightmare child who constantly climbs and bounces on things he shouldn't lol. When that day happens, I'll feel like I have the easiest job in the world!!

Off to make a cuppa and have a look at what work I need to do (luckily 1 mindee at preschool, other mindee asked to go to bed and other one not here - ds2 is behaving 'ok' atm!)

Leeloo - so are your reports more list like? I'm trying to picture them as I imagined writing lots of words???

big hugs! Let me know if you ever want an extra brain to bounce ideas off... not sure how many brain cells I have left though!! lol
xxx

lol, you want to help put stuff in your own dd's EYFS file?!!! Now that WOULD be funny

I HATE the fact that she has to even have one!!! I don't want it, you don't want to do it and it is only 5 hours a week for dogs sake....grrrr

Would it help to be reminded that you can have 'satisfactory' paperwork and still be an amazing CM who has a massively positive influence on the children that you mind and is highly valued by the parents you work for.

Don't judge your success as CM by the quality of your paperwork!

Well there is only one way round that and that is a formal letter requesting to be exempt. Stupid isn't it. And from your background, you know what you're talking about!!! The worst thing I think is I feel I'm not a good childminder anymore because I'm not doing this right. The children are happy, the parents are happy, I do make sure I help them learn etc etc. but I'm rubbish at writing it all down. Oh well, that's life I guess. I actually spent the weekend looking at nannying jobs but I really don't want to do that, I love my extended family and my boys love all the children coming.

I'm not a CM but am posting as someone else who struggles with getting paperwork in order. The answer for me has been (so far) a combination of 1) doing small amounts each day a la Flylady and 2) getting a friend who is good at sorting and organising to take the lead in blitzing it. Do you know anyone who is good at this sort of thing who could spend some time on attacking it for you / with you? If possible you could maybe do some kind of exchange for them, eg childcare.

Yep I reckon I know who you are now

Email me on sticky fingers at talk talk dot net I had your email addy before but changed providers so lost loads

I have a format for termly report, I can send you if it helps, I wouldnt bother backdating, use the report to cover the gaps then start again.

You've had a hell of a time lately don't put yourself down I think you are doing an amazing job just in keeping going.

Not ignoring everyone, I'm so grateful for all replies and will post proper replies later

Just a quick thing about this pre-school form. This is the boxes they have:

Interested this week
Achievements this week
Area of learning and planned extension

They have these boxes twice, once for them and once for me. So looks like they want me to write something weekly? But then I don't have copies of what I write if I just hand it in each time.

I don't find the last box very useful on this example, what do you think?

Interests this week: looking at farm animals and their babies, animal sounds game

Achievements this week: completed a farm puzzle unassisted

Area of learning and planned extension: encourage & develop new language, to try new experiences, to recognise sounds of animals

The bit about language and new experiences are surely ongoing all of the time so written for the sake of it? Yes, I get the recognising sounds of animals but they know most of these, I suppose they just need to get to know them more as new.

So, do I do my own thing or fill this form in? What I don't like is not having my own copy. I'd prefer they gave me something for my file and I gave them something.

WWYD?

Is that all thats on the form? Its not very indepth is it. I agree I wouldnt want to not have a copy, I would do your own and staple a copy onto their form. Then you arnt doubling up.

Yes, that's all that was on the form, rubbish isn't it. I spoken to them and even they thought it was rubbish, couldn't answer when I asked what day they planned to give it me and what day I should give it them? I don't think a weekly form is needed as sometimes they stay with the same interests for longer and also, what if they don't 'achieve' something new that week?

I'm going to speak to the manager there but I told them I'd probably do my own thing as I don't HAVE to use their form if I don't want to. We'll see.

God I hate all this stuff!

atwork - I've emailed you

Personally ... I would ignore the pre school form and just give them a copy of an obs you have done? Why do any extra work?

Sorry for not coming back sooner but last night was mental as had overnight stay so changing of bedrooms etc to sort, dh to wait on as he only had his op on Thursday and then I pretty much fell asleep on the sofa once I sat down! lol

Anyway, after a mental morning with 4 x 1 yr olds (why do I do it to myself?!?!?!! lol), I've now got 10/15 mins before the school run and (for now) the kiddies are napping.

Boys - I like that idea but how do you dip in and out of different bits? I find it takes a while to get into something but once I'm into it, I don't want to stop as I loose my train of thought. Would love to do it your way if you can share you secret

pippin - thanks, I just stress about having it all to do but I think it's the worry that adds to it, I'm sure if I sat down and sorted it I'd wonder what the big fuss was about lol.

underpaid - that's VERY helpful to know, really, I know this is what I want to do and I don't want to stop and regret it so thanks for sharing that (I don't remember you leaving????)

atwork - yes, I was VERY down on Sunday. I've been generally down for a while (not enough to affect the kids!) but Sunday was an awful low day. I will sort a list when I can and you can all help me prioritise

Right, I've run out of time so will come back tonight (hopefully) and reply to everyone else