CMs - To quit or not to quit, that is the question???

[needtoregaincontrol]

I've had a terribly weepy day today and although I've other stuff going on in my life, I know most of my upset is over the childminding business.

Where do I start.....???!!!!

I've been doing this job for 5 yrs and most of the time love my job but tbh, I'm feeling TOTALLY OVERWHELMED It's not the actual 'caring' for the children, that can be challenging at times but I find that much easier than the paperwork!

I bet if others were to hear what's on my 'to do' list for childminding, they would think it's not all that much but FOR ME it is. Ds2 is a major handful and I started back working when he was only very young still, unfortunately the very day EYFS commenced. I am such a perfectionist that because I'm not doing all these wonderful things I have in my head, I feel like a rubbish childminder Because I have all this stuff in my head, I'm feeling overwhelmed and therefore getting behind on things I used to do just fine. So I'm doing LESS than I was, all because my head is full of everything (stress!). I feel like I'm sinking fast and tbh, this weekend have thought of nothing more than quitting.

I DON'T want to quit, I need to get my life into some kind of order but HOW?

I recently had a week off and spent hours and hours putting together proper EYFS files together so I felt better and thought I knew where to pick up when I had more time. The problem is, I'm still trying to find my own system I'm happy with and therefore need thinking time with my files, something I don't get with my kids. I'm working on getting the kids out of the house more but dh says 'you'll always be behind, you'll never catch up!' so it's not helping me get motivated. I feel he's right but then I'm sure if I had a massive load of time to catch up with EVERYTHING, once I have my system in place I should be fine. I hope so anyway.

I just don't know what to do to get on top of it all. I'm so exhausted in the evenings I can't focus on this type of stuff so I thought that if I had some weekends to catch up, once I know exactly how I'm going to do things, I can do bits in the evenings and it won't feel so bad.

I don't know what I'm asking for really? Just felt it was time I snapped out of this feeling very sorry for myself and try and sort my life out. All I want is to care for the children and do what I need to do paperwork wise without constantly pushing my kids away at weekends

Any advice welcome or even hand holding would be very much appreciated.

Thanks if you got this far. Oh and if any others feel like I do, come and join me and lets try to get ourselves sorted!!

NTRC have emailed stuff, several times, I keep getting a server error message thingy coming up. Can you email me (seem to get some emails still) with another addy if you have one, wondering if that might work. Also putting wierd glif things on, dunno whats happening, so I thort if I send from my private email to another one of yours then that might work Failing that I can post a copy.

aha I have trained self to do TenTenLoaf otherwise I get exhausted doing just one thing

Everyone is different, you could do 2020Loaf or whatever, depends on your concentration span

The basic principle is that you don't have four hours looming in front of you, that would just make me want to not start and instead

NRMC: how are things going with you today? Friday looming and the long weekend is nearly here!

Sorry (again) that I never came back when I planned. I can now finish replying.....

Muddleduck - thanks, I know you're right, I just know I should be doing this stuff and worry about the fact I'm not doing what I should be. I know I'm good with the children and the parents are happy etc, I just feel I should be doing more.

80schick - oh how I could do with someone who could blitz this for me. Nothing anyone else can actually do for me regarding the observations etc. but I suppose there are other bits, I have enough of my own personal stuff that's also piling up to be done!!

atwork - just checked on my server and I HAVE had your emails so thanks Going to have a quick look now before school run then a proper look over the weekend

boys - I know the slashed wrists feeling I will definitely try your approach and see how I get on

no4 - I'm ok thanks, still feeling stressed but not on the level as when I did the OP

my sendy thing says u havnt

Think the ones you got havnt got attachments on, email me your addy and I'll post the buggas.

Can you tell I'm in email hell

Can't be dealing with changing my name back lol......I never got a chance to check earlier but just have and I do have an excel Observation Record which is great, thanks

Oh well at least you got 1 thing then and some spurious gliffs been trying to send a Termly Report which I think you will find more useful, but the bloody thing wont go and I can't send anything at all now I knew I shouldn't of changed internet provider. I can get emails though so dunno whats going on.

Oh dear, having a hard time then! A termly report WOULD be great but I understand if it can't be sent. I'll email in a sec using a different email address then you can try and 'reply', see what happens? x

Going back to this pre-school form, they really really DO want this form completed and although I don't want to be bullied into something I don't want to do, I've decided to give it a go as I think it will make things easier actually. They said it doesn't matter if it doesn't get sent back each week so that's not too bad.

If anyone has a sample of a 'report' they've done, I'd be so so very grateful

Thanks again for all the support xx