2 DC - nanny or nursery?

[butadream]

DS went to nursery and we were happy with it but the pick-up time was always stressful. Mainly for this reason now we have 2 DC we're considering a nanny instead. Other reasons for a nanny are:

• a nice nanny always seems like a nicer arrangement for younger babies anyway
• no problems if DC ill
• the other nursery duties a nanny does are v attractive i.e. clean clothes and good food for DC

BUT:

• would a live-out nanny work 8.30 am - 7 pm (hopefully we would be home earlier most nights but trains are not trustworthy enough to promise it)?
• lots of posts on here about unreliable nannies worrying me esp if agencies aren't that helpful
• nursery still cheaper actually esp with increases to employer NIC on the way

LOL at didn't read thread - I don't mind!

CM would be lovely but the problem I have is I can usually get home by 6.40 but never by 6 which is when all the local CM shut up shop. Also round here due to London ishoos most slive in flats with no gardens and mainly look after babies.

most CMs live, that should read

Hi the hours you stated are what hours nannies work so that should be fine.
If you find a nanny and are not so sure about them you could always give them a trial run to see if you and the children are happy? one of my families had a child they put in Nursery and still had a nanny. and nannies dont usually mind hanging around in the evening just incase you are running late also.If you are having trouble finding a nanny you can put a advert on Gumtree and local school notice boards. Childcare.co.ok is also good. Good luck!

Thanks pineapple. No trouble finding good applicants thanks, gumtree was the best and we're also registered with an agency, it's just that the job seems unattractive (8.30 to 7, 5 days pw).

What I am wondering is who all these families are who only need nannies 8 - 6? Are they bankers whose wives just want to go to the gym and have a nanny as a lifestyle accessory? My friends with nannies 8-6 a few days a week are married to v high-earners, it has to be said, and work from home a lot.

Surely I'm not the only woman out there whose job (not my DH's) is the one that pays the bills?

Unfortunately nanny + nursery for us = bankruptcy

I'm a teacher. DS goes to cm from 7.50am -3.45pm, term time, so it makes it easier for us.

I don't know how people who need 10-12 hour childcare for their dc do it without, as you say, bankruptcy.

Would cms in london not take dc to parks outside nearby (there are many in London - I'm in Surrey btw) and museums, playgroups...etc.? Where in london are you if you don't mind me asking?

And cm is a 5 min drive from my school, school 10 min drive to our home loads of holidays and we get afternoon time together to play outside, go places...etc every day.

I feel that I have struck work/family balance. And feel very lucky for that.

A friend that needed care for a 12 hour day, used two nannies, one for mornings one for afternoons.

The morning one was less experienced, as her older child went to preschool, so she only had one child to look after, after dropping the 3 year old off at preschool, during term time., I think she worked 7 - 12.30

The Afternoon nanny was an older lady with teenage children who didnt want to work fulltime, she did picked the 3 year old up from pre school and took over when she got to the house working 12.15 - 7.

She would have the children fed and bathed by the time Mum got home.

Both nannies would cover for each other in event of sickness/ holidays.

I must say i know people who work 5 days a week sometimes even 6 days a week starting at 7.30am and finish at 7.30pm so i know their are people out there who wouldnt mind the job. :-)

Maybe we should all do 4 days on 3 days off.
Schools, businesses...etc. Who is with me? I think it sounds like a great plan!

SW London, Zone 3, pineapple. I'm sure the CM do take the kids out to parks but the hours are still a problem.

Wow, 2 nannies Shoshe - can see the benefits.

Thanks pineapple for encouragement, still looking at nannies CVs so will see if any good ones come through that are happy with the hours etc., maybe it's just bad luck so far.

It probably is bad luck at the moment.. so many looking for jobs or so many parents looking for childcare.Im sure you will find something.. usually does work out ok at the end. All the best :-)

Not sure I'd borrow money to pay for childcare, though Can you shorten your hours at all? Or dh? The ap situation combined with nursery sounds a lot cheaper than a nanny as well.

Lots of people borrow for private school fees though (e.g. remortgage) and we would rather invest in loving care than academia, certainly with young DC anyway.

I can't reduce my hours in this job, have tried part-time before but the job goes to shit and the pay cut is not proportionate to the extra time at home, if you see what I mean. I'm trying to change career slightly but will still work 9-5 at the least and cannot guarantee I can leave the office until 5.30 hence 6.40 arriving home, the difference changing career would make would mean me not logging in to work PC of an evening after DC in bed. Again though surely this is normal for an office job?

DH can't reduce his hours as he's freelance contractor although in practice he is off work for 3-4 months of the year, v nice for the children but totally not predictable so we can't work childcare around it. Hopefully when they are at school it means that DH will be off throughout the long summer holiday though.

That is very true i know parents who do borrow money for private education.
If you have a high role in your job then you cant always guarante you will be back by a certain time so if for example you think you will be back 7pm i would just stretch it to 8 just so te nanny knows roughly what time she is sticking around till.

Still agree your nursery combined with aupair situation sounds much, much better financially and less financial stress often means happier parents, happier time at home...etc.

Dream If you think the job isn't particularly appealing as far as hours go, are you making sure to highlight the perks of the job in the advert? Maybe if you pointed us in the direction we could give you some helpful feedback?

Erm - perks, not sure but it should be quite a nice job - DC1 at preschool every afternoon term-time, DC1 and DC2 both at gran's one morning a week, no driving needed, nice area to be in with all children's activities within a short walk (school, toddler groups, one o'clock club, park), both DC very smily and happy, not fussy eaters, DH and I would be responsible employers and pay for Ofsted etc., short commute for nannies who live nearby (quite a few do).

What do you think Starberries?

Just wanted to add that this has been a really interesting thread for me. I'm in a very similar position (on mat leave with DD2 and considering whether to use a CM or a combination of nanny+nursery.) The cost of a nanny isn't as great as you're facing, but it would still mean eating into our savings in a serious way. I go back and forth between the two all of the time. Not having to worry about getting the two of them out of the house + home each day would be wonderful. However, I think this stress would be replaced with the stress of having absolutely no money whatsoever for anything else. I'd be really interested to hear what you decide on!

I totally understand the idea of wanting to not have to rush to leave in the morning and pick up in the afternoon. And wanting the relaxation of knowing a nanny is at home.... but don't underestimate the stress that can result from serious financial pressures.
While we still have to afford childcare, we have recently made a small change, which resulted in less financial strain and has drastically improved our stress levels and happiness.
Money does not equal happiness.... but stress about money and having to worry for the future and money spent on little things often can be quite difficult.
Whatever you decide I'm sure will be perfect. I just wanted to add my experience to that

I think you are right StarExpat. DH and I were discussing last night and if nanny does not give peace of mind because we're worried about holidays and sick days then it is not worth us giving up any possibility of a family holiday in the next 6 years or so.

" i certainly wouldnt go to work and leave young children with a foreign/unexperienced girl"

Blondes, whats wrong with leaving the kids with foreign girl? I can understand unexperienced girl but why foreign?

I'm an experienced nanny with fab. references and I'm foreign.

OP, I think Its a good idea to mix both re: 4 days nanny and 1day nursery and as you said if your nanny is unable to work nursery can cover and vise versa, your nanny hopefully can cover when your kids are sick.

I personally, prefer nanny as then I dont have to rush to get kids ready for nursery. And have a peacefull start for the day.

Thanks Mtorun, unfortunately nursery won't let you book only 1 day per month and their fees are cleverly structured so that the more days you book the cheaper each day is - 5 days p.m. is only £50 more than 4 days p.m.

So it should be good no? 4 days nanny 1 day nursery. Means £520pw(gross), £27,040 (gross) pa. A nanny would cost you. Dont know about the nursery tho.

And I'm sure you can get a decent experienced nanny for the amount you are offering.

And also the families who offer 8.00-6.00pm is not necesserly high earners or stay at home mums. I work 8-6pm and MB do handovers in the afternoon and DB is in the mornings. It works well for them like this. They do come late sometimes of course but, its due to the trains, bus. Which area do you live?