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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

is this what I should expect from a babysitter?

44 replies

Makipuppy · 06/01/2010 17:30

I work the odd day away from home and sometimes have to stay overnight, or get back very late.

I found babysitter via a website - she's 20. She came round to meet us and seemed very nice and responsible. The first time she babysat she planned to take DS out in her car - we said no as we live in the centre of town and there's no need. She took him out for 2 hours (DP was at home most of the time and started to get worried). The next time she had him out for four hours. He's nearly four months.

Is this normal? It seems to me she's organising her day around her own needs not DS who would rather stay in, play in his bouncer or gym or whatever and nap in his cot rather than sit in his pushchair for hours.

But then, I do trust her and she has offered to have him the night before when I do overnight trips which would be great.

She charges 8 an hour, which I don't think is particularly cheap. Her references are good.

What do you think?

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Missus84 · 06/01/2010 17:32

You're the boss, if you don't want her to take him out then say so.

Simplyme · 06/01/2010 17:37

Doesn't seem overly respectful of your wishes. If she is only doing odd hours then no need to combine with own personal errands. What is she though as you say babysitter but then you talk about during the day. Babysitters are generally for evening when babies are in bed?

nannynick · 06/01/2010 17:47

How long is she there for - all day?
If a baby doesn't nap very well, then going for a walk can help them settle. Babies also like seeing people (people watching). So the going out for a couple of hours in itself I don't see as being a bad thing, though 4 hours is a bit long.

You are in charge not her, so if you don't want her doing something you need to tell her not to do it.

hocuspontas · 06/01/2010 17:51

How do you know ds would rather stay in - he's only four months old!

atworknotworking · 06/01/2010 17:58

I'm a bit confused too, babysitters are generally used eve's / infrequently (or maybe I no nowt and should shut up) . Sounds like you are kinda using the babysitter as a nanny ?

might be a good idea to post some more info.
But I would say if you don't want your DC to be out and about for so long say so, your the boss

littlestarschildminding · 06/01/2010 18:00

Have you tried hanging about in someone else's house with someone else's 4mnth old baby all day?? It is SO boring...

This is from someone who has 20yrs childcare experience and adores babies!

My question would be what is she doing while she is out? Is she strolling around the park showing baby the ducks...is she at a babygroup...is she meeting other nannies so the babies can coo at each other. If this is the case then that is totally fine and totally understandable IMHO.
If she is shopping or going back to her house or sitting in costa coffee all day..then for me it would be a no no!

Why not find some activities you are happy with and ask her to take baby to such and such for an hour but specify when she should be home for naptime or such and such bottle

You are boss and it is up to you..you are paying her to do a job for you. But from her opinion I can totally understand why she wouldn't want to be home all day!

bamboostalks · 06/01/2010 18:15

This seems bizarre to me. Are you planning on leaving a 4 month old overnight with a babysitter? And paying £8 an hour? Is that an nanny? I would be concerned tbh.

hocuspontas · 06/01/2010 18:20

I presume the only reason you know that she is out for long hours is because your DP is at home. Is he working from home or just hanging around? Maybe she feels intimidated by him being there.

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 06/01/2010 18:20

She isn't really a baby sitter. She sounds like a nanny and I think she shouldn't be out so long with a little one, especially if she isn't having him full time.

Original poster

Makipuppy · 06/01/2010 18:46

Sorry, I call her a babysitter, perhaps I should say nanny. She has a childcare diploma and a CRB thing.

DP rarely emerges from his office upstairs or is at uni. He's scared of ladies anyway

Bamboo, I thought I might in the future perhaps at 6 months when I get overnight trips - if we all get on well of course. I actually worry that DP won't wake up when he cries - he slept through the fire alarm the other night .

I always take him out, he sits on my knee in the cafe. But four hours just before Christmas? I bet she was doing her shopping and DS was sleeping as he always does in his pushchair. And I bet she didn't change his nappy.

I know it's boring staying in (well I love it but there you go), but I gave her the password for the broadband so she could use her laptop, she had TV and radio, could have read a book etc while DS had his naps. Not a bad job on a cold day!

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Original poster

Makipuppy · 06/01/2010 18:49

Hocus I'm guessing, but he can't play with his toes in his pushchair and he does love his toes...

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Original poster

Makipuppy · 06/01/2010 18:50

If she had taken him to a playgroup I would be thrilled, he'd have loved that.

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Missus84 · 06/01/2010 18:50

You don't sound like you trust her very much. Have you asked her what she does when she goes out, or given her any guidance as to what you want her to do?

nannynick · 06/01/2010 19:00

Does she send you pictures taken on outings?
I've found that is a good way of showing parents that their LO is enjoying the trip to the park.

I agree that you sound as though you don't trust her. Are there other things giving you reason to doubt what happens when your DS is in her care?

SuperDuperJezebel · 06/01/2010 19:02

Why do you bet she didnt change his nappy? How do you know this? did he have nappy rash?If so why dont you talk to her honestly about any issues that you have.

Original poster

Makipuppy · 06/01/2010 19:16

I just think, if he was in his pushchair for four hours while they were shopping, asleep, she probably wouldn't have wanted to wake him up and change his nappy. But of course it's just a guess.

No other reason to doubt her - I do trust her to keep him safe (as much as you can in these things) and she is a very nice person. I can tell her to keep him inside apart from a half hour trip to the cafe or a walk along the beach but it seems to be she has very strong ideas about big trips, so wonder if she'll be happy with that.

She's been texting me all week asking when I'll need her again, she misses DS etc. so I feel have to give her an answer and some feedback. Hence the post.

OP posts:

Missus84 · 06/01/2010 19:43

You need to talk to her about what she's been up to. Why not suggest to her places you're happy for her to take him?

I wouldn't wake a sleeping baby to change a nappy either btw.

catepilarr · 06/01/2010 20:07

she would be called a babysitter by americans.

Lifeinagoldfishbowl · 06/01/2010 22:45

I still don't get why your keeping someone who you think has spent 4 hours shopping and leaving your child in a dirty nappy?

Would you be happier with a 2 hour trip out? toddlers/coffee mornings/park etc?

Original poster

Makipuppy · 06/01/2010 23:19

I'm not keeping anyone, just asking what people with more experience than me think of what happened when she looked after DS on two occasions.

OP posts:

cat64 · 06/01/2010 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Missus84 · 06/01/2010 23:36

You don't seem to have any idea what the nanny was actually doing though, so it's a bit difficult to have an opinion about it.

NannyBeth · 06/01/2010 23:40

I agree with whats already been said - unless you know she was shopping, I wouldn't presume...! I am a nanny and would hate to be stuck inside all day with a 4mth old - but then again, I tell parents at the interview stage that I like to get out and about etc etc so they all know before they hire me.

I also agree that, if u dont want her going out, tell her. If she doesnt like it, she doesnt need to keep working for you! I would leave a job if I were told this, but that is me personally.

I would ask her to come in an hr early or something the next time u want/need her to work (or stay an hr after) and explain that you would prefer if she stayed in/just went on short trips to the park/toddler group/etc. and see what she says!

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/01/2010 00:01

i rem you posting about the car issue

4hrs isnt long to go out - babies are lovely but boring and tbh dont do much at 4mths

you are boss,so if you want someone to stay in all day then say so,but be warned that maybe you wont find someone

sounds like you/she needs to find a balance of going out and staying at home - maybe go out for walk/M&T/see friend and then back for nap in cot

£8 is cheap compared to me - but im 36 not 20

JennyPennyNAPPYWEB · 07/01/2010 00:09

Am I the only one who thinks the fact she has been "texting all week" to say she "misses DS " a bit weird? I do occasional nappying/babysitting and I just find that really odd?

If it was me, I would much rather go out, but this needs to be discussed really.

I don't understand why you assume she has just been shopping and leaving him in the buggy the whole time. If you trusted her, why would you assume this? Not having a go, just don't understand? And if you don't trust her then she shouldn't be having him.

TBH I think with a baby that young, I would be move comfortable with somebody who has had their own baby, or who has experience with young babies. (I don't know that she doesn't - just thought I would mention). Especially over night.

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