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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

left in soiled nappy entire day

34 replies

clearsage · 21/12/2009 20:27

I'm really concerned. When I picked up my daughter from the childminders this evening she mentioned that we forgot to pack nappies. I apologised, of course, since it was an oversight. But then the child minder said that she had no spare nappies to use so she left my daughter in a wet nappy for the entire day. I was really shocked to hear that! I asked her what is my daughter had done a poo, to which she replied that she doesn't know what she would have done. I asked why she did not use the other childrens' nappies and she said that they wouldn't fit (but those children are the same age as my daughter).

I was so shocked that I just left there and then and my daughter kept whimpering all the way home because she was so uncomfortable. As I walked on home, whoch takes about half an hour, I kept thinking about what the child minder said and it just seems really wrong. Why didn;t she call us? Or buy some nappies and ask for money back? We almost never forget to pack her bag - its not as if this is a regular occurrence and we needed to be taught a lesson?

I'm really worried about the fact that the child minder had done that? Has anyone else had a similar experience? Can I complain about the child minder?

OP posts:

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spookycharlotte121 · 21/12/2009 20:30

Gosh thats awful i think you need to take it up with the childminder.

xoxcherylxox · 21/12/2009 20:31

well you could complain if you are very unhappy and if you want your childminder to have to a a visit from ofstead and have it put on there record and avaiable for new parents to see or you could just complain to the childminder sit and talk to her but tell her you want her to record your complaint and any action taken.
personnally i would be unhappy but i dont think i would put the childminder through the hassle of the complaint to ofstead and affecting her future job prospects if i was happy with all other aspects and this was a one off.

Littlefish · 21/12/2009 20:32

I think that is appalling. Did she definitely not try and contact you?

How old is your dd?

FantasticMissFox · 21/12/2009 20:32

I agree. Its not your DDs fault that you forgot to pack the nappies! I would take it up with childminder- maybe suggest giving her a bag of nappies to keep at her house so she will always have spares if you (or any other parents) forget?

GypsyMoth · 21/12/2009 20:33

if that were my child i would not be taking him/her back....ever!!!

FabIsGettingReadyForXmas · 21/12/2009 20:33

This is completely out of order and I would be furious.

rubyslippedonastraymincepie · 21/12/2009 20:33

I wouldn't let my child go back there

and i would make a complaint

unforgiveable IMO

Ripeberry · 21/12/2009 20:39

I'm a CM and know that parents often forget to pack nappies or I run out, (one child had 10 nappies in one day!).
I always keep a store of my own and if I ran out I would buy some and bill the parent.
There is no excuse for leaving a child in a wet nappy all day.
She was not meeting the needs of the child and even if she could not get out maybe because of snow, she could have rung the mum.
You need to have a talk with the CM to make sure this does not happen again.
If all other aspects of care are satisfactory then this could be a one off, but if this happens again or other things go wrong I would look for another CM.

nannynick · 21/12/2009 20:41

Not surprised you are not happy. If the childminder didn't have spare nappies themselves, then they could have borrowed one from another child's supply if there were plenty available. One Size either way doesn't matter... that's what stickytape is for, even if size is more than 1 different, changing it and using a nappy that's too small held on with stickytape is surely better than leaving your child in a wet nappy all day.

Was childminder snowed in? Did they try to contact you during the day to say there were no nappies and they would get some?

Complain to the childminder directly, complaints have to be logged... so the regulator could see the complaint at a later inspection visit.

Is this just the tip of an iceberg, or are you happy with all other aspects of care?

Original poster

clearsage · 21/12/2009 20:42

Hi Thanks I was furious.. still am! I suppose I should have been more confrontational from the start, but I was too shocked to gather my wits! My girl is 20 months now. I think I will bring this up with her tomorrow morning. I've no choice but to go there since I have to be at work. Overall though I don;t think the child minder has been very good. This is the worst thing that she has done. But in the past she has kept me waiting until 845 in the morning because she was dropping her son off to school, and a friend told me that when she saw my daughter at a toddler's group she was left alone for the entire 2 hours. In fact my friend (a stranger to the CM) went and played with my daughter totally unchallenged!

I get your point about maybe being kind and not putting this on her Ofsted report, but what is she does it to the other three kids she'ss minding?

OP posts:

Ripeberry · 21/12/2009 20:42

Also, it sounds like the CM is quite inexperienced, maybe she does not have children of her own?
As a mum myself, I would rather clean up a mess on the carpet than have my child sitting in a sodden nappy...yuck!

LisaD1 · 21/12/2009 20:43

I'm a Childminder and am appalled at your CM's lack of care to your child, she should be ashamed of herself.

There is NO feasible/forgivable reason for her actions. IF the nappies of the other children genuinely do not fit your child then she should have tried to contact you or just popped to the shop and got some (personally, if it were one of my mindees I would have just bought some rather than dragging parent back from work).

I would be having very strong words if this were my child.

xoxcherylxox · 21/12/2009 20:47

if i had a child to take to school and you were not there on time then i would have no choice to leave without you and you would need to either meet me at the school or wait for me to get back. at toddler groups i feel all the children and mums play with each other and i have found myself playing with other ppls children and not my minded child as they are to busy doing something else and as long as the child was happy with the other mum and i could see them then i wouldnt interupt.
surely if she told you upfront about the nappy thing then shes not hiding it and maybe doesnt think there anything wrong with that so you should just tell her you werent happy. and dont worry about the other kids if she was so open with you then if the same happen with them then she would of informed there parents to so they would no about it.

K75 · 21/12/2009 20:48

Wow your other comment about folk playing with her without the childminder checking in is even more worrying. I would complain but start looking for plan b.

FabIsGettingReadyForXmas · 21/12/2009 20:49

She left your child alone at the playgroup or just didn't interact with her while there?

Original poster

clearsage · 21/12/2009 20:49

Hi thanks again. This is really helpful. I was worried that maybe I was overreacting.

She made no attempt to contact me at all. She was not snowed in, I think she actually went to the Toddler's group this morning as per usual. I wouldn't have minded leaving work to bring her nappies! And yes she has a son of her own (school age ) so she should know better, right?

Just in case you guys think this is some kind of a weird relationship, we've always been really nice and polite to the CM and really given her no cause to behave like that.

However there have been a couple of other weird things so we gave her notice recently. Maybe this is some sort of revange or punishment for us?

OP posts:

FabIsGettingReadyForXmas · 21/12/2009 20:50

she had no choice to be upfront about the nappies as it would have been obvious that it had been on all day

Original poster

clearsage · 21/12/2009 20:51

Nope she ignored her while she had some downtime with her other CM friends. Or so I have been told by my friend ( who is a mom and sometimes goes to the same groups)

OP posts:

Daisydaydreamer · 21/12/2009 20:53

I am a CM if any child had run out of nappies and parent forgot to bring some I would have purchased some and added it to their next invoice, this is shocking that a child has been left with a dirty nappy on all day. I would be livid you need to ask for it to be put in her complaints book, and make sure she carries spares.

FabIsGettingReadyForXmas · 21/12/2009 20:53

If you have given her notice then just count the days.

RumourOfAHurricane · 21/12/2009 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

onepieceoflollipop · 21/12/2009 20:53

Your post of 20.49 really worried me tbh clearsage

You really think that she may want to exact "some sort of revenge or punishment for us".

That is very concerning imo. I appreciate that you have said that you gave notice recently. My gut feeling would be to remove your child immediately if you really feel she (cm) is capable of wanting to take revenge or punishment.

What were the couple of other "weird" things or would you rather not say?

GypsyMoth · 21/12/2009 20:54

she shouldn't be doing this job,really!!

Original poster

clearsage · 21/12/2009 20:59

onepieceoflollipop I suspect I am just paranoid which is why I mentioned all of those things here to get some feeback! When we gave notice we just said it was nothing personal, just the travelling distance getting to us. That was a fat lie! I've been feeling uneasy about her, mainly due to the way my daughter changed since she has been with her (last 8 months).

OP posts:

FabIsGettingReadyForXmas · 21/12/2009 21:01

Why leave her there so long then?

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