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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

I feel so ruthless!

93 replies

GwarchodwrPlant · 25/08/2009 21:39

I've just had to terminate one mindee (part-time) to make space for a full-timer and mum didn't take it too well on the phone!

I feel a bit bad about it and sorry that I have lost a lovely little lad but I am a business and I need to think of my finances.

This is a crap part of the job that I hate. I've written a letter to give to the parents of the mindee tomorrow. What do you think?

Dear Mr and Mrs G,

I refer to my telephone conversation with Mrs G yesterday and it is with regret that I must give notice to terminate the contract for the care of X.

I hope you will understand that as I am running a business, I have to give priority to the clients who wish to take up a full-time position.

As stated in the contract a 4-week notice period is agreed from today until the 23rd September 2009.

I really regret losing X so soon, just as we were getting to know one another. X is such a sweet, affectionate and bright boy with a fearless character and I will miss him a great deal.

I would like to thank you both for your custom and for giving me the opportunity to look after X.

Kind regards

Yours sincerely

GwarchodwrPlant.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

IdrisTheDragon · 26/08/2009 11:41

I can understand the terminating of the contract (happened to me when DS and DD were with a childminder) but happening after 6 weeks would really damage my trust in childminders in general.

LadyMuck · 26/08/2009 11:59

atworknotworking, but it isn't the equivalent of taking twice the money for the same job. It is the equivalent of me interviewing for a part-time role, going on the training courses and learning the ropes, and then giving notice because I had found a fulltime job.

I certainly wouldn't be expecting a good reference if I did that unless I had made it very clear that I didn't want a parttime job, and I would expect it to hurt my reputation. Obviously I wouldn't care if I thought that I wouldn't be looking for a new job for a number of years, and I assume the OP won't be looking for new customers for a while.

I don't think that it helps that the OP gives the impression that she sees this as something that she has to do (ie the implication that it isn't the first time and won't be the last), but that may just be down to wording.

colditz · 26/08/2009 12:04

Perfectly legal thing to do, but I'm afraid I wouldn't now touch you with a bargepole, and would warn all my friends to steer clear too.

crumpet · 26/08/2009 12:08

Yes, the cm does come across as ruthless. Fine if she is purely focussed on her bottom line, and it is her perogative to do so, however she will be reducing the pool of parents who will want to place their children with her if this becomes her reputation.

If I wanted a purely business focussed approach I'd probably choose a nursery not a cm.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 26/08/2009 12:11

A business relies on good refernces aswell, which she will not be getting from the mindee she has just let go.

As a parent if she had done that to me I would be livid and would be telling as many people I know.

CinnabarRed · 26/08/2009 12:25

My DS is about to start at a CM.

When I was looking around, I explained to the CM (and all the others that I contacted) that I was looking for a FT place from September. This particular CM said she had a place available from a particular date; when I asked why that date she said that she had recently given notice to parents of a child who came to her only in school holidays because for financial reasons she needed to find a mindee for all year round.

I didn't think twice at this explanation at the time, and she was by far the best of all the CMs we met.

But now this thread has started me thinking - should I look into this further? I'm now concerned about (i) the possibililty that I've inadvertently been involved in problems for other parents; and (ii) similar happening to us. But the CM seems so very nice and friendly - surely she wouldn't have done anything below the belt?

Would really value honest opinions.

2anddone · 26/08/2009 12:42

not ruthless at all I would have done the same thing x

HappyMummyOfOne · 26/08/2009 13:45

CinnabarRed, if a childcare provider had told me she had let go children for monetary reasons it would put me off for certain. I'd always be worried about being bumped for a better prospect ie new sibling etc.

Although the OP has done nothing legally wrong, morally I feel its very wrong and the parents will be upset and spread the word. However I am a believer in Karma and what goes around comes around.

This thread re-inforced why I would never use a childminder.

Original poster

GwarchodwrPlant · 26/08/2009 13:46

Just to answer a few questions about my morals!-

I took him on as i don't have a crystal ball, i have a business to run and need a regular income.

i gave the parents the option of safeguarding his place by paying for a few extra days but they declined.

I also warned them that I would be giving the place to a full-time mindee if one should come along.

I have though about it overnight and feel so much better about it today. It's just tough and in this business if you want to make any money you have to do what you think is best for your family needs.

OP posts:

Original poster

GwarchodwrPlant · 26/08/2009 13:57

it's the frst time I have had to terminate a contract and after being on maternity leave for 9 months, i have been slowly building up my client base. all of whom are very happy with the service i provide and the standard of care i give my mindees.

Asking for a variation to enable me to mind him as well as my full-timers would not be allowed and it would compromise the care of the mindees i already have.

OP posts:

rubyslippers · 26/08/2009 14:10

did you have it writing that they woud be bumped?

personally i would not pay for additional childcare i did not need to secure my child's place with a CM

you shouldn't have taken him on, if, in the back of your mind, you only wanted FT children

she now has to find alternative arrangements which won't necessarily be that easy

of course you are running a business, but you are running one which relies on word of mouth which is why this may bite you on the bum ...

dot91 · 26/08/2009 14:23

Not all chilminders are ruthless giving notice to a child just because a better opportunity comes along. I have been childminding for 17 years and would not dream of dropping a part-time child in favour of a full-time child. Yes I run a business and have bills to pay but ours is a caring profession and when you take on a child you make a longterm commitment to care for them. If you have a fulltime place and are offered a partime child you have to think can I fill the other part of that place or do I wait for a fulltime child. Not just say yes till better prospect comes along. also my reputation is important as most of my children come from referals from preious parents.

HSMM · 26/08/2009 14:56

I did this once (many moons ago). I took on an after school child, 1 day per week, term time only and I made it clear to his mum that I was really looking for a full timer. Anyway .... along came a pair of twins 6 months later, wanting full time spaces. I spoke to the first child's Mum and she remembered that I had warned her. I found her another childminder with a space available for her, who she was happy with. Anyway ... it all ended amicably ... and she has never spoken to me since

gingernutlover · 26/08/2009 15:39

"I also warned them that I would be giving the place to a full-time mindee if one should come along."

right, then they were perfectly aware and there shouldnt be a problem. If I was them, I wouldnt have taken up the offer of the temp place - which is what they did.

I think we are wishing you had told us that at the beginning you know. Starting to this you are on a wind up here!

Assuming you are genuine, I think you should re-word the letter as it comes accross as uncaring and ruthless which WILL piss them off, yes. You should refer in the letter to the agreement you had with them about how the place was temp until a full time child came a long. I think if poss you should offer to reccommend a couple of other childminders you know that have places (part time).

DrEvil · 26/08/2009 17:48

CinnebarRed: Your prospective CMs explaination wouldn't have put me off (as a user of CMs in the past). If you think about it a child who is only using a place in the school holidays is precluding a CM from filling a space all year round. The lady you spoke to has been open and honest with you at least.

The childminders I have used have been lovely caring people with lots of knowledge about their profession but who also need to earn a crust.

freber · 26/08/2009 19:28

Although I am considered a social outcaste for pointing out that childcare in any form is a persons lively hood it is very clear that whenever people people discuss their childcare arrangements the world always has to be rose tinted.

A persons cm business is just as much a business as any other and this lady has been up front and clear with the family as is expected. Would you all be up in arms if it was the other way round, how would you feel if the lady was relying on an income, had turned away other business and then the family after 6 weeks decided to leave?

Children are resilient creatures and as long as the care is loving and fun they will be happy. Childcare providers in nurserys change all the time but people don't seem to worry about that.

This cm has been correct in every way and has to think of her own family.

WidowWadman · 26/08/2009 20:09

I agree with freber. She's a childminder and not a charity.

MummyDragon · 26/08/2009 20:39

Given that the OP warned the family that she would give the place to a full-timer if one came along, I don't think this is unreasonable at all. She isn't providing free childcare out of the goodness of her heart, for heaven's sake - she is running a business.

I wouldn't use a childminder either, actually, purely because they are human beings who do get sick and who do have a bottom line to consider, and their priorities may not always coincide with mine or my child's. But I would never blame/judge them for this - unlike some of the posters on here!

Tombliboobs · 27/08/2009 07:41

If she had said in her opening post that she had warned the parents that if a full time child came along she would terminate their contract, then that is a different proposition, but she didn't so people answered accordingly.

gingernutlover · 27/08/2009 08:21

well said tombliboos

MUMMY DRAGON - we "judged" the situation on the information we were given.

thebody · 29/08/2009 15:57

such a difficult situation.. It does sound a harsh action to take but I imagine the poster had no choice, after all morality and decency doesnt pay the mortgage and bills does it?

These are hard times and childminding IS a business which is done for profit first and foremost..

The people who always bang on about vocations usually dont work at one and all the outraged parents on the thread who critisise the CM here presumably change their jobs as and when they want to!!

My childs teacher had gone on maternity leave at the moment leaving her class with a supply teacher but I am not saying she is selfish to have a baby because my childs ecucation is affected.. thats life.. HOWEVER all of my childminding places have been filled by word of mouth and reputation and I think it would be bad for business to act this way. Also it takes a time to build up a relationship with littlies and parents and once established makes the job so enjoyable.. bewtter the devil you know IYSWIM.

but please lets get off the high horse I love all my mindees but if I won the lottery tonight all would get nortice on Monday as I would expect to if the shoe was on the other foot..

ssd · 29/08/2009 16:10

agree with the last poster!

to all of you who use childminders, what do you do when your child starts nursery p/t or school f/t?

or your own job situation changes?

or gran offers to have the kids a day or two to help with childcare costs?

you cut out the childminder/give her notice/reduce her days or hours etc etc.

do you think about the financial effect on her? no, you think thank God I'm not paying so much now.......in other words you put your own situation first (just as anyone would, including childminders!!)

childcare is a business, don't ever kid yourself its something these woman are doing out of the goodness of their hearts...

and don't be surprised when they are forced to do something that gives them a bit of a gain financially

saintlydamemrsturnip · 29/08/2009 16:15

I think it's fine as you made it clear up front. If you hadn't that would have been different. Strange choice for the parents to make though - if they needed continuity.

underpaidandoverworked · 29/08/2009 18:23

ssd and thebody - agree totally. Parent's don't consider our outgoings when they give notice - often with very short notice . OP, don't take to heart some of what has been posted on here, you have done what is best for you and your family - and that's what everyone does in whatever job they do .

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 29/08/2009 18:28

the custom bit feels all wrong

child care is an emotional business no matter what anyone says

did you even give them the chance to be full time?

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