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Original poster

Oh no!!! Help, help, help!! Nanny signed contract with us but has rung to say she has got a better offer and won't be coming!!

127 replies

BoffinMum · 24/08/2009 14:10

So the BoffinMum childcare saga continues. We are just back from holiday, and the nanny who took five weeks to sign the employment contract at the end of July has just rung to say she has been headhunted and someone has made her a better offer, so she won't be starting on 1 September after all.

I have to say I feel sick to my stomach about this. The kids are very upset - they were looking forward to her coming. I phoned the agency straight away, and they are very shocked and trying to find me someone else, but I could have done without this on top of the usual upsets and anxieties about returning to work after maternity leave. I have also now lost the backup nursery place at work I had applied for, as I offered it back one she had signed on the dotted line.

What an unholy mess.

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Original poster
BoffinMum · 30/08/2009 22:12

Limonchick, I believe that's the situation, yes. Paradoxical but that's how it is. (It was a month's notice actually).

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frakkinpannikinAGRIPPA · 30/08/2009 22:41

Boffinmum - I've e-mailed you again to your hotmail. The other one didn't want to work.

Penthesileia · 30/08/2009 22:46

Boffin - so sorry this isn't sorting itself out quickly for you.

Small thought: unlikely, I suppose... But what if - after being threatened with legal action - she does come in on September 1st (having been offered the job and signed the contract, I presume she still "legally" could turn up, no?), gives your her notice, works for a month - all of you miserable around each other, of course - and then goes back to the family? That's a possibility, isn't it? Would you want this to happen? I know you want to pursue this for good reason, but the outcome could be quite negative.

pinkfizzle · 30/08/2009 22:51

boffinmum let it go and concentrate your efforts on finding a new nanny. good luck.

Original poster
BoffinMum · 31/08/2009 10:59

Penth, she told me she had another job so wouldn't be available. But I would rather have had her work a month for us while we find someone else than being stranded like this.

Pink, you have a point. I am still thinking about what to do on the revenge front.

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Summersoon · 31/08/2009 11:27

Hi Boffinmum, I do feel sorry for you and I can understand why you are furious - but I agree with Pink: I think that you should let it go just to conserve energy for all the other things that you need to to do - find a new nanny, go back to work etc.

I don't want to put you off but my experience was that the first couple of months back at work were very, very tiring and emotional - it was really hard to get used to leaving my DD with a nanny, hard to get used to doing serious intellectual work again, hard to discipline myself to get dressed and leave the house by 7.30 and so on and so on. I think that you will need all your resources to cope with this without fighting a revenge battle with a person you will very likely never see again anyway. Yes, I know, it is annoying to let someone get away with something like that but think of the time and energy you would need to invest in pursuing this. I really don't think that you need any more demands on your time than you have already.

Good luck! Do let us know how you are getting on!

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/08/2009 12:25

i still think you should pursue sueing her

what she did was wrong, and as blondes has been folllowing your saga since you gave birth, you gaver her plenty of chnaces to escape

have you tried advertising on netmums/nj for a temp nanny - its great that you have found this temp nanny, but not if you earn less then what you are paying her

Original poster
BoffinMum · 31/08/2009 13:09

I will indeed be making a loss Blondes but she is the next best thing I can get to you in terms of reliability and professionalism!

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callaird · 31/08/2009 14:06

How long is the temp staying?

I am free from end of September as on-going temp nanny. I have just left a full-time temp postion of twin boys, 12 weeks old at start and am heartbroken so don't want to go into a permanent nanny position again, it's too hard to leave them!

I have been a sole-charge nanny for (almost) 24 years, have excellent references and last position was my third set of twin babies.

Also, I know blondes and I (hope) she could reccommend me!!!

E-mail me at callaird at yahoo dot co dot uk if you would like me to send my CV and some telephone numbers for referees.

Oh, and I hope AtherneNoctua doesn't mind me mentioning her, but I have met and babysat for her. AN - maybe best if you don't mention the petrol thing!!!! Hope you beautiful kids are both well.

nannynick · 31/08/2009 14:17

Oh Callaird - you can't mention the petrol thing, and then not tell us about the petrol thing!

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/08/2009 14:52

indeed you cant mention the petrol thing and not tell us

esp if you want me to tell boffy you are nice ............

callaird · 31/08/2009 16:53

It's not much but it's not something a potential employer should hear!!

I was going to AN's to meet her and the children a couple of days before I was due to babysit and stupidly, forgot to check how much petrol was in the car and ran out on the M3!!!

It's so not like me to be so scatty but I was sharing the car with my boss for a few weeks and what would normally last me a few weeks was gone in a week!

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/08/2009 17:48

ha ha

its a good thing you confessed - i did email boffy and say you were ok lovely

and the blondes recomendation is essential!!!!

ssd · 31/08/2009 17:56

boffin, don't keep thinking of revenge, move on and hopefully get a geat nanny for your kids

try to put it down to experience (all be it a bad one)

good luck getting someone

Original poster
BoffinMum · 31/08/2009 21:25

I am torn - Confucious he say that if you seek revenge, dig two graves. However I am not happy about being used like this and want to make a protest.

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frakkinpannikin · 31/08/2009 21:28

Have you called her references to tell them how appallingly she's behaved? And the agency?

If she's liable for the extra costs then definitely pursue it because from what you said the temp is costing you an arm and a leg and it's all her fault. But then again if it's going to take you a huge amount of time it's probably not worth the stress.

Original poster
BoffinMum · 31/08/2009 21:37

Callaird, I have just emailed you.

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AtheneNoctua · 31/08/2009 21:40

Yeah, Callaird called me about the time she was due to arrive and explained she had run out of petrol and was pulled over on the M3 waiting for AA (I think it was AA?). For ages after that DD kept asking for the b-sitter who ran out of petrol.

Original poster
BoffinMum · 31/08/2009 21:43

I could actually ring her references, yes. The agency were shocked at what she did and have done their level best to bail us out, but the reality is that it is just too late and most people are fixed up for September now (which is why we formally offered her the job on 5 June!!!!) Contractually, they have three weeks to find an alternative otherwise we get our money back, but I daresay if I had to snap up someone from another agency they would be understanding about this and refund it anyway.

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HarrietTheSpy · 31/08/2009 23:24

Loved the 'I got headhunted' comment. Do you have any idea where she's working now?

I have to say, I would find it really hard not to be suspicious of the agency.

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/09/2009 13:01

surely the agency should refund your money now

you paid money for that professional nanny girl and she then didnt start with you -so they need to refund your money

maybe the agency should make the girl pay your agency fee refund

they may find you a nanny in 3weeks,but you may not click with her, and that is 100%important

fridayschild · 01/09/2009 13:22

This happened to me last year, but I got advance notice of the nanny not showing up, so my sympathies to you. And good luck with the childcare hunt.

I think in terms of revenge, ringing the referees would be more productive and satisfying in the long term than a court order. You will find going to court stressful. You will need to take time off work, possibly more than once - county courts are both bureaucratic and inefficient. And if you get the money judgement (if nanny is a good witness, you might not get much), you would have trouble enforcing it.

crunchygranola · 01/09/2009 14:43

For what it's worth, I was in a similar situation, except that my nanny actually owed me money when she disappeared. I seriously thought of pursuing her but inthe end I decided that people who do things like that are dishonourable, and no matter what you do and how right you are, they will behave dishonourably. Even if you win in court, they won't pay up, I will guarantee. They will do everything to make your life more miserable, and do things that you wouldn't dream of (things that I'm embarrassed to disclose here), because they are different to you.

You two were never meant to be on the same path and it's best that you avoid her as much as possible in future. My heartfelt sympathies, and good luck in finding a new one that deserves you. I did in the end!

MGMidget · 01/09/2009 18:00

Did you take up references for her? If so I would let her referees know what happened.

MGMidget · 01/09/2009 18:02

Oops sorry, I didn't see that fridayschild had already made that suggestion!