Oh no!!! Help, help, help!! Nanny signed contract with us but has rung to say she has got a better offer and won't be coming!!

[BoffinMum]

So the BoffinMum childcare saga continues. We are just back from holiday, and the nanny who took five weeks to sign the employment contract at the end of July has just rung to say she has been headhunted and someone has made her a better offer, so she won't be starting on 1 September after all.

I have to say I feel sick to my stomach about this. The kids are very upset - they were looking forward to her coming. I phoned the agency straight away, and they are very shocked and trying to find me someone else, but I could have done without this on top of the usual upsets and anxieties about returning to work after maternity leave. I have also now lost the backup nursery place at work I had applied for, as I offered it back one she had signed on the dotted line.

What an unholy mess.

Ok i didnt know you were still looking.

Don't panick, sure you ll findsomething

Boffin - I don't think you should let this go.

I once took a nanny job where one weeks notice could be given in the first month and then 4 weeks after that. The mother gave me notice and paid me for what I had worked plus the one week. I would have expected to work the week or pay it if I had given notice to her.

By very little home childcaring experience, what do you mean? They could have a lot of experience in group care and are looking to change... are they not worth seeing?

Could we mumsnetters help you evaluate the latest candidates?

Nick, when we have interviewed nursery based workers before, seeking to transfer over to home based childcare jobs, they were so used to working in groups, primarily implementing nursery and government policies, and getting the parents in like a shot whenever there was a minor health problem or something like that, it rapidly became clear they would not have a clue what to do in various key situations of crucial importance. For example, we asked a question about a serious injury situation that actually happened in our household a few years ago, and the typical answer from the nursery workers was to contact us at work for advice, rather than ring 999 for an ambulance or scoop the child up and whizz him to hospital. That's a really serious shortcoming. They also had odd ideas about weaning (one in the past suggested pasta was a suitable weaning food for a four month old with no teeth - this is before the BLW trend I hasten to add) and entertaining children in a home context (one suggested twice weekly theme park trips jointly with her sister's children, all at our expense of course) and really seemed out of their depth.

That having been said, I may be wrong, of course, and would welcome a steer from you all. Let me see what applications arrive tomorrow.

Have the people blaming me gone away now??

Ah, yes... that sort of response from a nursery worker isn't good.

Have you seen this one on Gumtree? - they are looking for Live-In. Looks as though they may meet requirements for Ofsted registration as Level 3 CLD. Has been in a nursery for about a year, so may not have been fully Nursery Brainwashed yet . More interesting is that she has cared for her younger brother from babyhood, has been raised by a single parent - so with luck won't need lots of hand-holding. Currently cycles to work so may be fit enough to cope with your older children (am I right in thinking that you have two older children, plus baby?).

another suggestion boffinmum; would it be worth having a whip around childminders and nurseries just to se if you can have a temporary space there?

I'm not sure how old your children are but it could work. Yor miles away from me otherwise I could have helped

What about looking on that thread, "we need jobs" or something in this section? Your local mumsnet area? Netmums?

Also wasn't wickedwitchsomething (sorry am rubish with names!) looing for temp work?

I'm so sorry this happened to you; I work as a nanny and would never ever dream of doing this!

I like this one but only because she sounds like me 2 years ago

Seeing a childminder tomorrow near DS2's school, but it would mean DS1 would have to be a latch key kid at the age of 11 during his first term at secondary school, as it would mean a 3 mile walk for him from the station after a 30 minute train ride. Not ideal.

Have contacted the two Gumtree applicants suggested but one only wants p/t.

My kids are 11, 8 and nearly 5 months.

Still in shock at the thought of poor DS1 maybe having to be a latchkey kid after all my efforts throughout his whole life to avoid this (I was one and hated it).

Would it reassure you if I said our (very very lovely) nanny had only had group childcare experience before? She was eminently sensible at interview and has proved to be splendid in absolutely every respect. Plus she has an extraordinary range of songs and activities up her sleeve for every occasion.

Other than that, I have no other useful advice apart from to offer my sympathies. Life is horrible when you're stressed over childcare.

Tis indeed reassuring, SnickerSnack. I now live in hope.

Boffin I'm so sorry about your useless nanny - if I was nearer I'd come and be your nanny, after all, wouldn't even have to learn a new baby name!

Have no useful advice but popped over to let you know that I hope you find someone lovely soon - I found a new childminder for DS1 in 24 hours once, so it can be done.

Oh Boffin! How horrible! for you. And your poor kids too.

I second snickersnack's reassurance. We've just hired a nanny who had only 1 year's nannying experience after 5 years at a nursery, and she's proving more than fine.

Fingers crossed you get something sorted out very soon. Good luck!

i know you are not happy about no 1 being a latch key child, but would it be that bad?

many of my friends were while growing up, and i was so as my mum was sahm

he will be 11, by the time he gets home after school and has a snack and starts to tackle homework, then you will be home

i know it isnt ideal, but might be worth asking him to see if he can cope/want this while you find childcare

your ex nanny is a disgrace to our profession

Boffin - re the nannies with little experience. One of my closest friends took a nanny who had no experience at all because on interview she liked her so much. It was intitially a temporary arrangement while she decided whether the nanny could be trusted with her children. 3 years on, she still has the same fantastic nanny and can not say enough good things about her. It may be worth interviewing the inexperienced ones to see what they are like - they may actually turn out to be the nanny of your dreams.

I agree with Senua about consequences, particularly as if it had been the other way round, as others on the thread have pointed out, you would have had to pay her.

What a complete pain! But don't give up your job (you didn't mean that did you?)!!

Have e-mailed you!

Hello folks, quick update. Have interviewed two good ones and seen a childminder. Things are looking a bit more positive, but I will post more when things get concrete. I also had two replies from Nannyjob and about 10 from Gumtree, but I am wondering how much I should take account of terrible spelling and obviously out of date random CVs??

I did mean about giving up my job for the five minutes in which I posted it, but in my defence I was upset and hormonal. I only slept four hours last night and was very upset. But I am feeling a bit more cheerful today and this thread has really helped. xxx

my personal view boffy if that if the nanny cant take the time to check her spelling is correct in her as or send an up to date cv then they are not worthy of your time - unless you really have no other candidates - then ring them and see what they are like before wasting your time seeing them

btw excuse any bad spelling,mn doesnt have an automatic spell check but emails and word documents do

Consistent terrible spelling = wouldn't bother

Out of date = wouldn't bother

A couple of typing errors/spelling mistakes then fair enough. I sometimes tweak my CV for a position and forget to spellcheck before I attach it.

If they are local and wanting live-out, then they may be worth putting in the 'to be considered' pile (or are you really wanting someone else living in your home?) as long as they are ticking all the right boxes in terms of experience, quals etc. If they want live-in and will be travelling quite a distance I would ignore them for now.

Cf. the "I feel so ruthless" thread that someone has just started, which seems to be drawing messages of "times are hard, you need to do what is best for you" messages of support for the OP.

I wonder what other Mumsnetters think is the exact moral/ethical difference between the two cases?

(Personally, I feel that a commitment is a coommitment and one should stick to it for a fair period at least....)

Summersoon - the cases are not quite the same, as under the terms of contract the CM can terminate the contract at any point for any reason giving the required notice - in the same way a nanny (or nanny employer) can terminate a contract.
However morally it isn't something I would personally feel happy about... but I'm not in the position of that CM having to make that kind of decision.
How long is a 'fair period' of commitment?
In BoffinMums case the nanny didn't even start the job... where as in the CM case the parent is being given 4 weeks notice as per the agreement. Is 4 weeks fair?

Haven't read the other thread yet, but in matters of employment and service provision, I generally think that when kids are in the equation, slightly different rules need to apply to what might happen normally in an office situation or whatever, as the degree of psychological fallout can be considerable, and this should be taken into account. An example of damaging practice might be a school or creche closing overnight, or perhaps a nanny flouncing off. Relationships should be phased in and out in a friendly fashion wherever possible, if children are involved.

Definitely wouldn't put me off. Shoshe - would Oxford count as sufficiently south oxfordshire or would that be too far?! Just trying to see what options there would be for when M/L finishes next September!

Sorry, wrong thread