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Original poster

Nanny is a HUGE klutz!!

99 replies

legalgenius · 05/06/2009 16:20

I am clearly struggling with being an 'employer' and remaining calm with my nanny right now..she is testing my patience SO much!

Plus sides ares: she's great with my son- he's really happy with her but not in a clingly way, she's inventive, good tempered, firm, responsive etc BUT....

The girl is trashing my house!

In the past 9 months she has (deep breath)

Backed into my car

Put at least two dry clean only dresses through the wash

Ruined one v.v.v. expensive cashmere jumper by doing the same

Blocked the dishwasher with food and caused the kitchen to flood (£300 to fix)

Scratched the living daylights out of my Kitchen pans by using metal spoons on them and by putting them in the dishwasher

Ditto my digital weighing scales

Smased a whole set of wine glasses (on six individual occassions)

Smashed 3 vases (one of them a wedding present)

Left the buggy out in the rain for an entire weekend (we were away) causing it to grow black mould (£500 to replace)

She's lovely but she is destroying my home and no amount of gentle chats/formal warnings does any good. She gets tearful and despondent and then I have to deal with her moping and looking dejected.

Also- she gets lots of half days and late starts on the days I work from home on the understanding that when I get stuck at work she stays later- recently her caveman of a boyfriend has complained about this and , as she does everything she says, she;s started "curfewing" me as I leave the house.

In eight months she's never once had to put my son to bed/ stay past 7.15pm!

Have so little patience left with her- I work full time and my husband is away long term (military) and I really need her to start backing me up on the home front not cause me more grief!

My. That turned into a rant!

Anyone else stuck in this most irritating of trade offs?!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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MatNanPlus · 09/06/2009 15:13

"Your nanny sounds disrespecful and seems to be taking advantage and if after a sit down chat followed up by a written version of the chat things don't change then i do think you need to look around."

Original poster
legalgenius · 09/06/2009 15:14

I'm not.

I have encountered two of the most immature individuals imaginable.

Not to worry- its given me an invaluable insight into how some members of the nanying profession operate.

I've decided to terminate my nanny's employment anyway(at the weekend not just now!).

OP posts:
nannynick · 09/06/2009 15:15

Welcome to Mumsnet legalgenius. Having done my research, it would appear to me that you are quite new on here and may not be used to how confrontational discussions can sometimes get.

Please do not let that put you off using Mumsnet though, as it is a great resource and you will find that you can get a lot of help from people. You in turn will find that you can educate other people (perhaps you would like to teach me about your specialist field of law for example. As you correctly identified, I like legal stuff).

SusieDerkins · 09/06/2009 15:16
Original poster
legalgenius · 09/06/2009 15:22

FYI nanny nick you weren't who i was thinking of when i mentioned immature individuals.

i don't know if you;re being sarcastic or not with your post just there to be honest.

anyway- it doesn't matter.

mumsnet is a good resource but think i will avoid the chat forums. its not confrontation i have a problem with its my lack of energy for defending myself when I'm already exhausted.

its not exactly much of a sisterhood here is it?!

OP posts:
CarGirl · 09/06/2009 15:24

nannynick wasn't being sarcastic just honest. On MN people tend to be very open with their opinions, it's not somewhere you come and get sisterly hugs, you get a mix people who agree with and people who don't.

It is good to see things from other peoples point of view.

Don't give up on the chat forums just read a few other threads to get a feel of how it can go, and don your hard hat when you post!

morningpaper · 09/06/2009 15:26
AprilL · 09/06/2009 15:26

I too would be looking for another nanny. I would expect some things to be broken or shrunk in the wash, but that's quite a lot of damage in quite a short space of time, and it seems like she has a problem with remembering fairly simple instructions, like "don't use metal spoons with these pans or they will get scratched", and surely scraping food waste off the plates before stacking the dishwasher is just common sense! One or two mishaps would be human fallibility, but so many? hmm. I don't think our nanny damaged anywhere near that amount of stuff in the two and a half years she was with us...

MatNanPlus · 09/06/2009 15:27

Agree with Cargirl hard hat / optional flak jacket are sometimes required when posting

Original poster
legalgenius · 09/06/2009 15:30

agreeing and disagreeing is fine cargirl- really. i don't need hugs. However as you can see from morning paper's last post - its just taking the pi$$ out of things that other people have actually found upsetting thats the shame.

that jumper you're taking the mickey out of me for morning paper was actually a goodbye present from my husband before he deployed to afghanistan..hence i was upset.

feel free to laugh at that too if you want.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 09/06/2009 15:32

What about this vase?

Shit that just exploded in my hands

morningpaper · 09/06/2009 15:33

Don't worry I will load the dishwasher with these porridgey saucepans and then clear up

nannynick · 09/06/2009 15:33

Finding another nanny, or changing to another form of childcare I feel is your best option in this case. Your nanny has been told to improve, hasn't done so and it's got to a point where you can stand it no longer.

Good luck with whatever childcare option you decide to use next.

catepilarr · 09/06/2009 15:34

i sympathise with you legalgen. i would hate to have such a nanny. i am sure there are nannies that are good both in looking after children and not trashing the house.

nannyl, cant help it but in my view scratching pans with metal spoon/blocking the diswasher/washing dry-clean-only stuff in a wasching maschine is as thick as leaving a buggy in the rain.

Andthentherewerethree · 09/06/2009 15:58

stainless steel pans do get scratched in the dishwasher as does glassware, this is due to the salt in the water. thought everyone knew that tbh?

it sounds as if you have come to the best decision all round lg, i am sure you will find a nice nanny who respects your household goods. i no longer employ a nanny as am no longer working due to number 4 being conceived, but we had a lovely nanny whio like several of the nanny posters on here would ahve been mortified to have broken anything of ours and actually her cleaning standards were a lot better than mine, hence my house now being in total dissaray and me wondering why on earth i thought staying at home with 3 children and one on the way would be easy compared to working.

JenniPenni · 09/06/2009 15:59

As a CM I expect the CHILDREN to respect my home... never mind an adult! I find your nanny's attitude terrible. I wouldn't have her in my home. If a child continually breaks things (and I am talking of a 2 or 3 year old here!), and they will not listen and do the same thing over and over - their parents get notice. Period.

If you live in someone else's home, as a visitor or an employee... RESPECT IT. It may just be a house to you but it's a home to them.

thebody · 09/06/2009 16:28

agree with Jennipenni, she should respect your house, surely that goes with the territory of living in someone elses house.

You sound at the end of your teather so agree best to terminate the contract with your nanny.

Its horses for courses, on this theme I have read nannys complaining that employers were filthy and they couldnt stand living in their houses.

to be happy both have to match up, another family may love her and you may get a fabulous one next time..

dont give up on mumsnet, sometimes people appear flippant and they are actually trying to see the funny side... God that came out wrong but bet in 10 years time you will laugh at this!!!!!
anyhoo good luck next time...

Original poster
legalgenius · 09/06/2009 16:40

Ta- thebody

appreciated! although i'm not sure that morning paper making jokes about explosions in response to my post about my other half being on the front line could really be called "flippant". More "sick" really.

Still. Think I'm doing the right thing re my nanny at any rate.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 09/06/2009 16:54
morningpaper · 09/06/2009 17:00

n.b. These are flippant slapstick jokes referring to my post about being an enormous klutz

tut

orangina · 09/06/2009 17:02

oh behave mp......

Sullwah · 09/06/2009 17:04

legalgenius - think you are doing the right thing.

So sorry that some posters have been very unpleasant. I have usually found MN very useful and helpful when I have had queries. So please don't give up on us.

morningpaper · 09/06/2009 17:04

p.s. I am a housewife so I urge you not to take issue on that

frAKKINPannikin · 09/06/2009 17:17

FWIW I don't think nick was being sarky in his last post. Glad you've decided what to do and I hope some of the posts on here have helped you make up your mind.

It's not a sisterly hug place but I'm sending you one anyway from one Forces Sweetheart to another and good luck finding a nanny you can rely on and who won't trash your house!

FabulousBakerGirl · 09/06/2009 17:18

I can see both sides as I have worked as a nanny and now run a home.

To me it is irrelevant that this is a nanny/employee doing the damage. This is a person who comes into your home and is disrespecting you by not listening and acting on your instructions. If your gardener dug up all your new plants continually but weeded really well, it would be the same thing. They are not doing what they have been asked to do.

I was once doing the families washing when they phone rang so I shooved it all in. I found out later I had shrunk the mum's new jumper. I was mortified. I took it back to the shop to ask for a new one and had to buy a sample on in the end as that was all that was available.