Nanny is a HUGE klutz!!

[legalgenius]

I am clearly struggling with being an 'employer' and remaining calm with my nanny right now..she is testing my patience SO much!

Plus sides ares: she's great with my son- he's really happy with her but not in a clingly way, she's inventive, good tempered, firm, responsive etc BUT....

The girl is trashing my house!

In the past 9 months she has (deep breath)

Backed into my car

Put at least two dry clean only dresses through the wash

Ruined one v.v.v. expensive cashmere jumper by doing the same

Blocked the dishwasher with food and caused the kitchen to flood (£300 to fix)

Scratched the living daylights out of my Kitchen pans by using metal spoons on them and by putting them in the dishwasher

Ditto my digital weighing scales

Smased a whole set of wine glasses (on six individual occassions)

Smashed 3 vases (one of them a wedding present)

Left the buggy out in the rain for an entire weekend (we were away) causing it to grow black mould (£500 to replace)

She's lovely but she is destroying my home and no amount of gentle chats/formal warnings does any good. She gets tearful and despondent and then I have to deal with her moping and looking dejected.

Also- she gets lots of half days and late starts on the days I work from home on the understanding that when I get stuck at work she stays later- recently her caveman of a boyfriend has complained about this and , as she does everything she says, she;s started "curfewing" me as I leave the house.

In eight months she's never once had to put my son to bed/ stay past 7.15pm!

Have so little patience left with her- I work full time and my husband is away long term (military) and I really need her to start backing me up on the home front not cause me more grief!

My. That turned into a rant!

Anyone else stuck in this most irritating of trade offs?!

pmsl at I am a lawyer so I urge you not to take issue on that.

I may start using that on anybody who disagrees with me.

oh dear god, you sound awful

NannyL's post sounded about right to me

I am a total klutz but I am still really great at my job

I don't understand why a Nanny is responsible for vases and wine glasses but I've never had one (A nanny that is, wine glasses on the other hand, I've had HUNDREDS....)

Nanny sounds like she doesn't understand practical things, which is not her fault - I've got no idea about dry-clean dresses/cashmere jumpers/dishwashers/expensive pans because I've never had experience of them!

The only thing that would piss me off is the buggy because you would have to be A Bit Thick not to know what they really need drying out - having said that, DH has done exactly that and he is normally quite sensible... Don't know why you'd bother replacing it at a cost of £500 quid though when she is the one using it.

if she has no idea of simple practical things then perhaps she shouldn't seek employment in other people's homes where part of the job description is helping to run the house?

in any case, to deal with the problems you mention I went to a great deal of effort to give her a guide to the house when she first started and spent a day (of unpaid leave) talking her through it and giving her the chance to ask me any questions. just so you know she said she understood everything perfectly and things were very friendly between us.

i shouldn;t have to nanny proof my house or feel that i can;t have nice things in it. I rather take the view that she should be careful with the things I have told her need handling carefully.

I may "sound awful" but you just sound ignorant.

Aargh these posts really really annoy me!!! That is not the post from the OP but the comments she receives back! I do not for the life of me understand why the OP should receive backlash because she is fed up of paying for the privelege of having her home and property destroyed?

I'm sorry but in my opinion it is not acceptable for nannies to wave off 'accidents' by saying that they are a 'klutz but great at their job' NO you are not great at your job if you are damaging someones home! Nannying is not just about looking after the children it is also about ensuring your employers home is run smoothly in their absence. You also need to set a good example to children and imo carelessly breaking stuff and not respecting property is a very bad example to set.

If you have a weakness with something then put it right! Be careful. If you do laundry check labels before washing, don't leave buggies outside etc etc. If you have been told not to use something or to only use a pan with a wooden spoon etc then do as you have been asked. Accidents do happen but they happen far less often if you are careful. I would be mortified to think that I was causing so much damage.

I also do not think it reflects well on you as a nanny to have such little respect for your employers and their property.

Nannyl you seem to be a prime example of the thinking that it's alright for them to replace stuff attitude. I can see by your comments on this other thread a while back!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=childminders_nannies_au_pairs_etc&threadid=715233-To-charge-ap-for-anot her-ruined-item-of-clothing-and#14601524

thanks simplyme- i appreciate it!

Whay do so many people immediately assume that nannies are always the victim of their unreasonable bullying emplyers?

My husband and I have bent over backwards not to EVER make our nanny feel under appreciated. When it was her birthday I took her to a spa for the day. At Christmas we gave her an I-pod becasue I knew she really wanted one.

I'm not expecteing any awards here but just want to make the point that she is well treated and has been welcomed into our home as one of the fmaily.

I FULLY admit, I can be a bit house proud at times but I know this about myself and have therefore bitten my tongue about most of her accidents. I'm, not a monster- I do realise accidents happen. Lately I have been feeling depressed about the amount of damage and having to discipline her constantly.

I would alos- as you can see from my first post- be the first to say she is a fantastic carer for my son. But she doesn't work in a nursery- she works in my home. Thats the difference.

I now realise a lot of nannies want the benefits of working as a nanny - which has to be a hell of a lot better than many a nursery- but when it comes to taking responsibility they just don;t want to know and revert to behaving as if they work in a premisis owned by a child care company and not a family home.

Thanks again simplyme- really, thats the first time I have felt comforted, particularly in my other half's absence, for a long time.

OP my sympathies are with you 100%. If all of the points in your OP were gone through w your nanny upon employment and again when they became issues, then you are right, they are bloody annoying.... the problem is that no matter how fab she is with your son, sooner or later the other issues just eclipse everything else (IMVHO). We had a nanny once for dd, she was lovely with her, dd adored her, and I still say to this day that she was a v good nanny. She was also v keen to help around the house, be a quasi housekeeper etc. But she trashed washes, shrunk hand wash items in 90 degree machine washes, turned white washes pink by throwing in a crimson silk scarf with them, etc, etc, etc..... in the end, all of that became too annoying and eventually we weren't too sad to see her go (due to visa issues, thank goodness I didn't have to sack her, I am a wimp...).

You are not being unreasonable. I would say you need to lay down a few more ground rules that become grounds for dismissal if they are not followed.

I disagree with "reasonable maintenance of household appliances" being the nannies responsibility. I'm not a qualified lawyer but even I know that your nanny isn't responsible for maintenance of an appliance which they do not own, unless you have specifically written that the maintenance of said appliance is their responsibility.

Any sane judge would throw your case out of court - IMHO. You own the appliance, it's your responsibility to maintain it. If you delegate that task to your employee, it is still your responsibility to oversee that such maintenance is carried out correctly.

Just my view of course. If you disagree (which I suspect you will) then how about linking to a court case where this issue has been addressed by a judge. I love reading Case Law!

Its the sum of all of these things as opposed to the individual events themselves that are so irritating (I'm assuming?!). Ok, the dishwasher breaks, get it mended, there we go. No, not specifically the responsibility of the nanny re: maintenance. But if the nanny has been told 10 times to please scrape food off plates before loading the dishwasher and STILL it doesn't get done, and THEN it breaks, AND the warranty is null as a result (and that is after moldy buggies, broken glasses etc), then it is farking annoying.

I wonder with the flexible time whether you should actuall set up a flexi time work sheet so you can both see how many hours she is working each week. Perhaps you need to specify how many hours she needs to work per month and state that she will have x amount of notice to work past 6.30pm and y amount of notice to work until 8pm on the rare occasion you need it.

Is there any sort of routine to when you will need her to work the extra hours etc? One week per month etc?

Other than that I can only suggest you reduce her regular hours and pay her overtime for the extras?

Now that she has been told not to use the pans etc etc then I think it would be fair to ask her to replace them should she damage them any further!

I do however feel that a nanny has a Duty Of Care for their employers belongings.

Your nanny does sound rather a Klutz.

You're welcome legalgenius and incase anyone is wondering I am the nanny not the employer so I agree with op because I think she's right not because it is 'employers sticking together' club!

Nannynick - with regards to the dishwasher I agree it is not the nannies responsibility to maintain the dishwasher per se. However since it is clearly the nanny who uses it most of the time it doesn't hurt to keep it in a useable condition. For example I feel it is part of my nanny job to maintain the nanny car in a good condition. So I keep it clean and tidy and often valet it every few months. My employers pay the cost but it benefits them to have a well kept car. Same as dishwasher, they pay for running of it etc and all products in it but if I see it is flashing that it needs topping up with rinse aid or salt then I will do it. To me it is common sense and only takes a few minutes.

Nannies do not like to be taken advantage of but I also don't see the need to be petty about what is/isn't in the job description/contract.

Despite having already spent far too much time at college during my life I am tempted to snaffle up a legal qualification just so I can use that line "I am a lawyer so I urge you not to take issue on that".

FWIW I can empathise because I also had a really clumsy girl once (ah, how I fondly remember the episode of the farmers' field, the tractor, and the brand new mini cooper that she wasn't allowed to drive which had those forward and reverse gears that were apparantly so confusingly close together....)

You need to split out the issues: clumsiness isn't going to change so you either accept it as coming with the territory of having her around, or you make the job klutz-proof, or you replace her with somone less klutsy. You need to make that call. Trying to make her less clumsy or making her pay for mistakes will just ruin the relationship.

The other issue of flexibility is more difficult. She is now used to leaving early sometimes which in her mind is a nice perk but in your mind is an overtime bank. Not your fault, not her fault. Time to sit her down and tell her exactly that - there is a disjoint between her expectations of flexibility and that you look on those early leaving hours to cover the times you have to stay late at short notice and ask her if she thinks that is unreasonable or not, and if she does, ask her what she suggests the arrangement should be, given that you will often have to work late without notice quite often, and that can't change. Get her to suggest how you should both be working this problem out. That gets the issue discussed without it being a blame game. win-win. And if she really doesn't want to be flexible then you can both agree that she moves on and you find another nanny.

Morningpaper - instant dismissal

"Any sane judge would throw your case out of court - IMHO"

What are you talking about?? I haven't taken her to court?! The clause was taken from a standard Oftsted approved nanny contract so you are right- you are clearly not a qualified lawyer.

"standard Ofsted approved nanny contract" - Ofsted don't do one of those... I should know, used to work for them!

As I said, if it is in the contract that maintenance is the employees responsibility, then there is more onus on the employee to carry out such maintenance... but I feel that the owner is ultimately responsible.

I agree it's good for children to see a home being maintained properly. I make my 7 year old turn his own socks the right way round (rather than do it for him) because if he doesn't then it clogs the washing machine full of sand. Part of working in someone's home is maintaining and running it properly. At the same time I would never wash my employers clothes, not simply because we have a housekeeper or because it's not my job but because if she wanted me to do it she would ask (occasionally I put a load of towels on or things in with my charge's laundry) but she DOESN'T therefore it's none of my business. Loading/unloading and running the dishwasher, on the other hand, is. As is fixing the washing machine or the drying if it goes wrong on my watch.

I don't think I've every broken anything (plate/glass/vase) but if I had I'd be horrified.

HOWEVER if it's that important to you then you need to let her go and get a new nanny. You won't be constantly replacing things, you'll feel safer about your home and you won't get narked with her.

I don't personally understand her attitude about the warnings/chats - it's important to be able to take criticism and ACT on it, not get all teary-eyed. That's not helpful. Also if you need flexibility and she was aware of that then that's part of her job and she needs to deal with it. You're doing everything you can to make it up to her with late starts/half days ( wish I got that) and if she's never stayed past 7.15 then she's incredibly lucky!

thank you nannynick

legalgenius i think you are very rude and i am pleased i dont work for you...

I also do not need to take any legal advice about dishwashers thank you very much. If its that much of a problem sue your nanny?
also (unless contracted otherwise) nannies are NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR MAINTANANCE OF HOUSEHOLD APLLIANCES* (and i would NEVER sign a contract where it suggested i should be)
YOUR appiance, YOU maintain it....

and as for like to the thread... yes in the past 10 years being a human being i have broken;
I have broken... the microwave plate when the new microwave was less than 2 weeks old (it was on a new high shelf thing and as i took something out the (now much higher microwave) the plate got caught and it landed on the granite work surface

in the farm house they had had a huge slate floor laid (but not sealed) and i tub of cream fell out the fridge and made an oil stain that will never ever ever come out of the slate....
I really do not feel bad about opening the fridge door and something falling out that someone else had balanced so procariosuly that it fell out next time the door was opened

have washed and shrunk a wool blanket (ONE thing ONCE in 10 years)

dropped a whole stack of plates and 3/8 broke. (well i was sorry, they were IKEA plates and my bosses really didnt mind, it wasnt as if i dropped them on purpose )

actually in 10 years i dont think thats that bad, as none of my bosses have minded

(and i still cant see how spraying a saucepan (designed for cooking hot liquids) with a spray of hot water, as happens in a dishwasher would or could scratch them.)

"I now realise a lot of nannies want the benefits of working as a nanny - which has to be a hell of a lot better than many a nursery- but when it comes to taking responsibility they just don;t want to know and revert to behaving as if they work in a premisis owned by a child care company and not a family home".

I disagree with this statement (we are all entitled to our opionions ) I wouldny say that is the case when any of personal RL nanny friends... we all do our best to look after our employers property, (and yes we all occasionaly break things at home and at work)... (I dont think i know your nanny personally, but i do know at least 50 other RL nannies!)

I have never hit my employers car, but my employer has scraped mine (only a minor bit on the bumper) and I have to say i didnt think it was worth making a fuss about.... after all it was an accident*

I didn't say it was an Ofsted produced contract I said it was Ofsted approved. Unless you were actually running Ofsted (which I suspect is not the case) then I rather think you should be quiet.

FYI I never discharged ny "ultimate" responsibility for household equipment. That has never been in question.

Please stop watching Boston Legal/Ally McBeal, its not doing you any favours.

Lets end this here - thanks again for those who offered helpful advice/comfort.

legalgenius - what are you trying to achieve from your OP?

You say your nanny is great with providing care for your son... but she is trashing your house.

If having a nanny isn't working out, then do you need to look at other forms of childcare? Would having a different nanny make things any better? Another nanny may be less clumsy, may look after things better... but would they be great with your DS... perhaps they would, perhaps they wouldn't.

I doubt there is such a thing as the perfect employee... we all have out faults.

I feel you need to decide if you can keep putting up with the issues, or if you need to implement formal disciplinary procedure with ultimately sacking your nanny and you finding alternative childcare.

I am loving this thread

sits on hands to hold back the lawyer jokes<

but seriously, throwing your legal 'weight' around is unattractive

Your nanny sounds disrespecful and seems to be taking advantage and if after a sit down chat followed up by a written version of the chat then i do think you need to look around.

In 19 yrs that i have broken a plate / damaged a car bumper / been crashed into while stationary in bosses car - write off / destroyed a cashmere jumper that was tangle in tablecloth i have offereed to replace / pay up.

I have been told not to worry but i was dismayed to have done the deeds.

I care for the things i use ie restock dishwasher liquids/salt and empty filter / keep washing machine soap drawer clean and filter emptied / tumble dryer filter cleaned by doing what is needed for these items it is no different to keeping games / toys together and tidy so they work / can be played with.