Single parent who need childcare before 8 in the morning - what do you do?

[twinsetandpearls]

Dp and I decided at our counselling session today that once we have sold our house we are probably going to go our separate ways.

That leaves me in Dorset with no family and a childcare problem. I currently live about half an hour from my school so leave for work at the latest 7:45am. That is too early for breakfast club.

I could do the following:

1. MOve closer to my school but I think that would be hard on dd as she has just moved school ( we moved here in August , we also have some friends we have made locally who cant help in terms of childcare but can be there to support.

2. Hire a childminder to take dd to school and pick her up. I just know that when I needed a childminder before it was very difficult to get one who would work before 8am although that was in lancashire.

Sorry to hear you and DP are separating twinset. I have friends who have been in a similar situation that you just have to call ALL childminders to get childcare before 8am.

Do you have quite a lot in your area? Apparently childminders have been hit hard by the recession (well where I am they have!) and are potentially much more flexible?

Are you on good terms with any of DDs friends parents? Could she be dropped at a friends each morning?

Could you look at having an au pair?

sorry to hear that twinset

If you know roughly where you will be living you could call round cms now, I used to do early mornings when I childminded so it's worth checking with each cm, sounds like this may be the best option if you can find someone.

Or an aupair?? (doesnt appeal to me personally but worth a passing thought).

We are really new to the area so dont really know the parents at dd school. She has a best friend but she has a lot on and I dont want to be relying on goodwill I would rather have firm arrangements.

I will try phoning some childminders, as you say they may be more flexible.

I'm a childminder and at the moment things are VERY quiet. I would be willing to take children in at 6am! If it meant having some work.

Although I advertise as core hours of 8-6, I do work from 7.30am and used to start at 6.45am as someone really needed someone and I found it hard to say no So definitely worth ringing round, it's worth asking. If you get stuck, call the Family Information Service, explain your problem and see if they can help (we quite often get emails asking if we can help with xyz). Failing that, an au pair is the only other option I can think of. Maybe good to have some company??? Just a thought.

Really sorry about the break up xx

I start at 7am every morning. If you ring round there's bound to be a CM who will start earlyish?

I am a CM btw.

Good Luck,hope you get someone x

So sorry to hear about you and DH TSAP I replied not realising you were the OP.

Sorry to hear about your break up. I'm a single parent with a long commute (1.5 hrs each way if I'm lucky). I had a childminder who did 7am to 6.30pm and took and collected ds from nursery. There aren't lots who do those hours but there were enough to give me choice. It was harder to find someone prepared to work after 6pm than to start at 7am.

I'm sorry to hear that twinset.

I would ring round definitely. Mine says on her details on the database that she only does 8.30-5.30 but in practice she will have my DS from 7.30am if I need her to and keep him till 6.30pm (I travel so sometimes I need to drop him off early and other times pick him up late).

I actually think a CM could be really good in your situation too - having another constant adult who cares about her but is outside the family could be really valuable at what could be a difficult time. My DS adores his CM and I really value him having a strong relationship with another adult.

Oh crikey twinset - sorry to hear about this. What does/can she do after school? What are the timings of breakfast club? Is it possible for you to get to work very last minute every day, but then stay later in the evenings?

What does your dp do? And where is he likely to live? If things are amicable could you drop her at his house in the morning?

Breakfast club starts at 8. The problem is that I get a lift into work and the school day starts at 8.40 so would be asking someone else to get in on the last minute.

This is hard as the whole reason for us moving here was so that dp would be at home and we would not need to use childcare.

I am not sure if dp might move back to Lancashire. If he stayed near he may take dd to school and pick her up but I feel a bit strange asking him. He is very angry at the moment/

I know what you are saying spicemonster about a childminder.

If I had a house big enough I would think about an aupair particularly as I dont think I will be eligible for any tax credits.

twinset so sorry
you will be eligble for tax credits even if you are top of the scale on a teacher's upper pay spine
hth
also, my childminder quoted as startong at 8 but wuld start from 7:30 onwards if asked

Really aanothername.

I do hate tax credits, they overpaid us years ago and it caused us no end of grief, I would only claim them if I had absolutely no choice

Jeez twinset!!! You seem to have so much on your plate. Am so to hear this - how awful that you finally had some good news with the house you are selling but now the next house you buy will not be with dp after all.

Would you consider au pair? Having a babysitter at home would allow you to have a bit of a social life if dp moves away and you have no family nearby.

How are you feeling about the split? Is it your decision?

Sorry to hear this

Many CMs start work at 7am, I myself offer a service from 7am to 7pm to cater for commuting parents. I even know CMs who start at 6am... some finish at 10pm.. catering for shift workers. So they ARE out there, hope you find someone soon x

I am feeling calm it was my decision.

I dont know if I could afford an aupair have another thread about my finances.

Au pair about £80 per week afaik. Actually, thats purely anecdotal, based on what friends have told me.

Sorry to hear this

Does Shoshe do a school run to your DD's school or know any that do?

You should be eligible for tax credits - I get them and I earn a reasonable amount. They do really help and I think they've got much better about calculating them properly than they used to (as far as I know). You are entitled to the money so you should claim I reckon. I personally would opt for a CM rather than an au pair purely because of the hassle of having some random person in my house at a time you're feeling vulnerable. And because of the continuity thing from your DD's perspective. Ring the council and get their list too - don't rely on the one on the childcare link website which is rubbish and out of date.

I also know that my CM cuts me a lot of slack because I'm a single mum - she really helps me out a lot and it's really nice for me too, not just my DS.

Have you moved recently? Do you have support for you?

Sorry to hear that. Have you thought of an AP who can do school drop and collection. Mine collects from after school club as AP's are trained in chidcare but they are more than capable of making breakfast, dressing, taking to school, and collection. Then you also have built in babysitting and cleaning etc.

Sorry I meant not trained in childcare......

We moved to Dorset from Lancashire in August, I have a friend round the corner who I know I could call on at any time and people at work would help out.

Crikes, twinset; sorry to hear this.

Am sure you could find an early childminder, especially if you start looking now for Sept. My (wonderful)CM took dd1 from 7.45 daily. Start with children's service for the county; they will have lists of CMs and may be able to tell you who has vacancies.

twinset - I'm across the border in Somerset so no help to you but only just moved here from dorset so know some areas of dorset very well......it will be difficult I have to be honest - its one of the main reasons I gave up teaching as I couldn't get CMs to start early enough for a school start.

HOWEVER things have changed a fair bit in the past 5 years and alot of the newer CMs coming into the profession are more willing to consider the needs of shift workers and early starters. Be prepared to offer a little more for the hour before 8am but other than that you should be ok. be up front from the start and any CMs who aren't willing to put themselves out for you aren't "career" CMs anyway - they'#re just doing it temporarily so they can stay home a little longer with their kids!!

Good luck