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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

NURSERY SAID WHAT?????

40 replies

coolj · 28/04/2009 17:38

I had one of my mindees parents on the phone today very upset. Her DS was at nursery this morning and accidentally broke a toy during water play. The nursery told the DC off in front of everyone and demanded an apology. The child said that it was an accident so the nursery rang the childs mum and asked her to come in to take him home .

They discussed the situation if front of everyone and the mother said she felt very small and was spoken to like a schoolchild. The child apologised but it was not accepted because he had a smile on his face (he always has btw) and told him he showed no remorse. He was told to go home and that he would not be allowed to play in the water tray ever again??? WTF.

The poor mother was clearly upset and was told to advise her childminder of the situation and to ask if I would have a problem in taking the child???

As you can imagine I didnt have a probem accepting the child but advised the mother to think very carefully about her choice of nursery.

What happened to the Unique child

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rubyslippers · 28/04/2009 17:39

that is nuts!

she needs to make a formal complaint

how awful

schneebly · 28/04/2009 17:39

this is insanity!

hobbgoblin · 28/04/2009 17:40

There must be more to it, surely?

PixiNanny · 28/04/2009 17:46

As hobbgoblin said, surely there's more to it? Please say there is because my faith in this country's childcare is getting smaller every day (and I'm part of that!)

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/04/2009 18:18

seems very weird that a nursery would ban a child playing with a toy ever again for accidently breaking it

if i were your mindess mum i would be finding a new nursery asap

underpaidandoverworked · 28/04/2009 18:50

I would find a new nursery - and report the member of staff who did that .

atworknotworking · 28/04/2009 18:56

Can't believe that one, tell mum to take child out of nursery and make an official complaint, it's ridiculous to ban a child from an activity just for that they'll be dishing out asbo's next bonkers.

Hulababy · 28/04/2009 19:01

Sounds bizarre and totally opposite to what i would expect to happen in a nursery (or any childcare environment).

The mum needs to put in a formal complaint to the nursery and/or OFSTED (or other official body), and also consider if she wants her child in such a nursery.

Pennies · 28/04/2009 19:05

That is utterly ridiculous. What were they playing with - porcelain pouring cups?

Something else is definitely afoot here.

The mum should complain to the nursery and if that doesn't resolve it then Ofsted should be informed.

sheena1 · 28/04/2009 19:35

That is awful I would report them in no circumstances should a child be spoken to like that especially by a nursery I would be so angry and pulling my child out and letting other parents know what has happened the person who spoke to u like that should be sacked on spot .

AtheneNoctua · 28/04/2009 19:41

I agree with others. Would speak to the nirsery and if they supported this horrible approach to discipline abuse I would contact OFSTED.

What a horrible thing to do to a child you are supposed to be caring for.

Northernlurker · 28/04/2009 19:42

Did the child break the toy over the head of a staff member or other child whilst cackling 'Take that, you evil playworker/contemporary'?

'Cos if not then this is a total over-reaction and very concerning!

underpaidandoverworked · 28/04/2009 19:48

In any childcare setting, you expect to have toys broken accidentally - or not - but whilst you might think 'oh bugger, need to replace that now' you don't rant and rave at a child . It's all part of their learning experience, lets face it we don't stop breaking wineglasses things as adults do we, but don't expect to get told off for it . If they've done this with your mindee, chances are other parents have been in the same embarrassing position - your parent should chat to other parents she knows to find out. Then go to Ofsted.

willowthewispa · 28/04/2009 20:57

Even if the child deliberately broke the toy, their response was totally inappropriate!

Original poster

coolj · 29/04/2009 07:56

Sorry just had time to answer your queries. Firstly, that is all there was to the story. When the mum came to me in the afternoon I advised her to get out of the nursery (which is attached to the school that the poor child will attend). She did so and got a place at the nursery that my DC attends.

She discussed with the new nursery the reasons for leaving the existing nursery and they totally agreed with her.

Her child is really cute as a button and came to me armed with wild weeds flowers he had picked for me and the sibling, which also comes to me had drawn me a lovely picture.

They are lovely children and I give them the attention and care that they deserve.

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HSMM · 29/04/2009 08:06

Even if the child deliberately broke things every day and cackled about evil witches at the same time, there are ways to deal with this that do not involve shouting at the child, or parents in front of everyone!

thebody · 29/04/2009 15:20

the nursery worker should be reported to Ofsted and the mother should ask to see a copy of the discipline policy.. To be honest if thet was one of my children or one of my mindees treated that way the worker might have been lucky to escape with a bloody good telling off from me infront of everyone..cow!!!

Original poster

coolj · 29/04/2009 17:25

Hi there. There is now a second installment. When she arrived this afternoon with DC, she said she was called out YET AGAIN this morning (I cant believe she even took him back).

Apparantly the preschoolers are allowed to climb the trees??????? and DC had bounced on a lower branch and it snapped. Said worker had a real go at DC and called mum in again. Told her they really dont know what to do with child????? and DC will not be allowed outdoor play ever again??? So now barred from sand (health reasons) water play and outdoor play .

DC left nursery again upset. They even gave the mother the branch (what was she supposed to do with it? Sellotape it back on?) and had another go at the mother. WTF again. The nursery told the chid 'what will your CM think of your behaviour, she wont want to look after you again'

Mum and DC walked out of the discussion and came to me.

She asked me for Ofsteds number to make a formal complaint. I gave it without hesitation.

She is at a quandry now what to do about reception in Sept as she has just recvd the placement letter.

I know what Id do.

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DuffyFluckling · 29/04/2009 17:29

Very peculiar.

Northernlurker · 29/04/2009 18:20

They've banned him from outside play and told him his childminder won't want anything to do with him????

I wouldn't just been ringing Ofsted - I'd be tempted to set up a picket line outside - 'What do want - competent carers, when do we want them? NOW!'

His behaviour is their responsibility when he is in their charge - that doesn't mean they can just dump him - they have to work with him - he has done nothing in this situation that wouldn't expect from any lively, healthy toddler and it is outrageous that they are behaving like this. Yesterday's thing was weird - this is just plain awful!

underpaidandoverworked · 29/04/2009 19:22

Pre-schoolers climbing trees - would love to see their risk assessment for that activity . Something urgent needs to be done about this setting - I hope your mother DOES contact Ofsted, it would serve the buggers right. How dare they treat a child like that If we did that we'd be suspended immediately.

Original poster

coolj · 29/04/2009 21:22

I couldnt believe that they allow the children to climb trees. If they were monitoring the children, they would see that the branch was about to break. Thank goodness the branch wasnt higher up and caused damage to the child.

How dare they use me to get at the child as well. Im absolutely fuming and feel like getting in touch with the nursery but dont know if I should stir up yet more trouble.

I advised mum not to go back to the setting and just wait for the other nursery to give her a starting date.

I will find out tomorrow what Ofsted said.

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Yurtgirl · 29/04/2009 21:28

That is terrible

Is it all of the staff who think this way or just one do you think?
I am intrigued at what the manager/head teacher thinks of this - It is completely unacceptable.

Complain and shame at will

Original poster

coolj · 29/04/2009 21:33

As far as I can gather, this is coming from the boss. When the mum received the phone call, her DC was at the headmasters office???

OP posts:

HSMM · 30/04/2009 08:07

speechless

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